Hoot Page #6
Change of plan, boys.
Oh, yeah.
Well, look who's decided
That should do it.
Hey, cowgirl.
- Uhh!
- Aah!
Beatrice the Bear isn't here
to save you this time.
Uhh! You're gonna be sorry
you ever messed with me!
Aah!
Uhh! Grr.
Right behind you, cowgirl.
Ow! Uhh!
Damn it! Ow!
Uh huh huh!
Uhh! Aah! Uhh! Ow!
Ow! Uhh! Huh! Uhh!
Aah! Oh!
You say there.
Looks like I got me a rat.
Big ol' rat in a trap.
Don't you move.
Yeah, I won't. I won't.
We caught it.
Caught the Mother Paula's vandal.
Caught him red-handed.
The what?
You're crazy, man.
I've never been here before!
Stay down. Stay down.
I'll take it from here.
I'm crazy? I'm crazy?
Hey, calm down. Calm down.
Get... get your arms up here.
What's your name, son?
Roy. Roy Eberhardt.
Well, Roy, looks like your chubby
little reign of terror is over.
Hold on a second.
I know Roy Eberhardt,
and this isn't him.
Uh-huh?
So I assume
Well, you bet your cute
little scooter, I do.
Yeah, attempted burglary, trespassing,
destruction of private property...
and so forth.
Ow.
You know, you could make this
a lot easier on yourself, son.
Yeah, right.
Just tell us your real name
and quit acting dumb.
I ain't acting, and I ain't done
nothing wrong, so let me go!
OK, have it your way.
Oh, come on.
# Hey, hey, hey #
# Hey, hey, hey, hey #
Hi, Captain.
Don't just stand there like a seagull.
Sit down.
Sorry.
Thanks.
A heck of a collar out there, Delinko.
Just got off the phone with the mayor.
He says we need more cops
on the street like you. Heh heh heh.
Sir, I was just doing my job.
Right place at the right time.
Did... did he really say that?
Looks like you reeled in
one nasty bullshark.
This Matherson kid's got
a heck of a rap sheet.
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about, sir.
If you look in his record,
it just doesn't make sense.
I mean, shoplifting,
breaking into candy machines...
th-this kid's a delinquent.
Not a vandal.
It just doesn't add up to me.
This is police work, Delinko, not algebra.
Kid's been breaking the law
since kindergarten...
and you caught him red-handed.
Case closed.
Well, sir, I just...
I believe these belong to you.
Oh, boy. My cruiser.
Just remember.
Screw up again,
you'll be swattin' skeeters...
and counting cushions
at the boat ramp.
Copy that, sir.
Can't say, uh, I'm gonna miss
that, uh, smallish vehicle.
Yeah.
You expect me to do
the right thing...
and I'm trying my best.
Well, we know you are, son.
I'll see you in the morning, Roy.
Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck.
Toes.
Good night, Roy.
Night, Mom.
Good night.
Hey, Dad?
Yeah?
What do you do
to catch the bad guys?
At work?
Yeah.
Well, uh, we don't chase our bad guys
down the streets.
The key is to catch 'em
in their paperwork.
Sooner or later, they all slip up,
and they leave a trail.
Right.
I know it's, uh, boring stuff...
not the razzle dazzle
you were hoping for, right?
I don't know. Maybe it is.
OK. See ya. Get some sleep.
Night, Dad.
Tuck, tuck, tuck.
Toes.
Don't freak out. It's me.
Me who?
Me, Beatrice.
How did you get in here?
Easy.
Sliding door on the porch
popped right off the track.
They all do.
How long have you been hiding here?
Oh, don't worry.
I closed my eyes while you put on
your very colorful jammies.
Are you completely whacko?
I'm sorry.
It's just...
Things got kind of crazy back at home.
My dad and Lana,
they got in this huge fight...
and I mean, huge.
She threw a clock radio at his head,
so I beaned her with a mango.
She went berserk.
I didn't know where else to go.
I was gonna stay with Mullet,
but he wasn't at the boat yard.
If you want, you can stay here.
Really?
Yeah. Just as long as
my parents don't check back in...
or we'll both be in trouble.
You take the bed.
I'll sleep on the floor.
No way.
I'm fine right here.
All right. Suit yourself.
Hey, cowgirl?
Yeah?
Ahh.
I'm really glad that, um...
I'm just gonna call you Roy from now on...
if that's all right with you.
And what's wrong with Ling Ho?
Ha ha ha.
Ow.
It's not like him to disappear.
He must be up to something.
Don't worry.
We'll find him.
- Hey!
- Aah!
- Ha ha.
- Ha ha ha.
You jerk.
What is that thing?
It's a bulldozer seat.
What are you doing with it?
You can't drive a bulldozer
without a seat, Bea.
Don't tell me you stole...
You're gonna love this.
Come on. I'll show you.
- Ha ha.
- Ha ha ha.
What the...
Shh.
Oh, mercy.
Huh?
Not the seat!
Let's go.
What am I gonna tell Muckle now?
why I shouldn't fire you.
Oh! Goodness gracious!
Mr. Muckle!
We wasn't expecting you
until tomorrow.
Yes, Mr. Brannit, I came a day early.
I'm gonna be sticking
a silver shovel into somethin'...
at that groundbreaking
ceremony tomorrow.
I want it to be free of you-know-whats.
Gotcha.
Oh!
Oh, my.
We're bulldozing today.
Today?
Today?
This obviously wasn't something...
to handle unsupervised.
Yes, sir, but today is gonna
be a little difficult.
Speak!
Well, we had another incident, sir.
And this time, somebody took the seat
off the bulldozer.
What's the quickest
you can get a new seat?
Well, I guess I could head over
to construction supply in Fort Meyer.
Go there, get it right now.
I'll keep an eye on things here
and make sure nothing else happens.
Oh, and, Brannit,
on your way back...
pick up Miss Nixon at the hotel.
I want her
in her Mother Paula's costume...
for a dress rehearsal at 3:00 sharp.
And if you run into anyone...
you keep your trap shut
about all this, you got it?
- Yes, sir.
- Good, go.
Mr. Muckle,
I just want to say that...
I've been trying like
the dickens down here...
Get seat!
Get Mother Paula.
- Get going.
- Yes, sir.
- Let's go.
- OK, let's go.
So, uh, you've had some time
to think about your situation?
I don't need to think, all right?
That's how come I got a lawyer.
Hey, did, uh, you spray-paint
How 'bout those gators in the toilet?
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.
- Yeah?
Now why don't you be a good cop
and go get me some donuts?
OK, and that's the end
of the nice interrogation.
Now it time for a little hardball.
Wa...
Ha ha ha.
That was smooth.
You know, you just got
to relax, all right?
'Cause you got
a long day ahead of ya.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Hey, mister, it's that attitude...
that got you in here
in the first place, OK?
Remember that.
No, what got me here in the first place
is that little twerp Eberhardt, all right?
He set me up.
I didn't do anything.
Huh. Wow, this Roy Eberhardt
seem like quite the little evil genius.
See you later.
Oh, I actually got you something.
What, what is it?
Well, you know, I figured you'd
be going away for about six months...
and I thought you might
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"Hoot" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hoot_10147>.
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