Horns Page #4

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want to know that.

I've been unemployed for

three months and I hate my life

so yeah, I can sure understand

wanting to kill someone.

No, Rob, that's

not what I meant. Oh.

I really want

to show everybody my dick.

Oh! Don't.

I want that all the time.

I want that all the time.

The only thing I know

is I got a cousin who's a cop.

He knows who the new witness is.

It's a waitress who served you

the night Merrin got killed.

Said she saw you drive

back to the restaurant and

drag Merrin into your car.

Thanks a lot, Stan.

Hey, my interview!

Hey, my interview!

Okay.

Okay, guys, so...

you're gonna come tomorrow night

to the diner at about 9:00.

I will have hopefully

done the deed by then...

and then we can go

out and celebrate.

F*** yeah. You

want me to bring any goodies?

Ehm...

No, I think me and Merrin

are gonna be happy enough

tomorrow night without

stimulants, I hope.

Yeah, well, I'm a musician and

we always need stimulants.

I understand that.

And I am a state employee

subject to random drug testing.

Sure you're not

rushing into this?

Rushing into it?

Dude, how am I rushing into it?

We've been going out

since we were kids.

Hi.

- Hey.

Hey.

Oh, what's-

is everything all right?

Hey, what's wrong, Merrin?

I don't really know

how to say this.

I'm just gonna go

ahead and say it.

I'm moving to Los Angeles.

Are you kidding?

That's great.

Like, I can get a

leave of absence from the

radio station easy.

I want a change of scene too.

It's not what I'm talking about.

I think that we need to

stop seeing each other.

Hey, lovebirds...

you guys ready to order?

Oh, I don't think we've

quite decided yet.

Okay. Well, I'll come back.

I don't understand.

I thought everything

was going great.

Well, it's just that we haven't

had a chance to ever be apart.

And I've never had the

chance to think about

what I want for my life.

Well, okay, but I know

what I want. I want the

life we've been dreaming

about since we were kids.

But that's the problem.

We've been dreaming about

that since we were kids.

And we're adults now. We

need to start being practical.

I don't know what

you mean by that.

I don't want to

ever be the reason for

any of your regrets, Ig.

But how many times have we

talked about getting married?

I mean, how many times

have we talked about

what we're going

to name our kids?

I'm not even sure if

I want to have kids!

What! Well, you

sounded pretty into it the

last 8,000 times

we talked about it!

How many girls

have you been with?

You know the answer to that.

Just me.

Yeah.

No one does that, Ig.

No one on the whole

planet does that.

You need to see other

people so you can figure out

if I am the one that

you want to be with.

But I don't want to

see other people.

Is that what you want?

Are you in love

with somebody else?

And how far has it gone?

Answer me!

How far has it gone?

Have you f***ed him already?

Please, Ig.

No! Tell me! Tell me

everything that happened.

I need to know.

Have you f***ed him already?

Why are you asking me this?

Because I want to know!

I want to know everything.

It's gonna make it easier

for me to hate you!

You deserve better.

Finally, something we agree on.

Please, I'm gonna be lost.

I'm not in love

with you anymore.

Come on, please. We're not

done talking about this.

Please, Ig.

Please.

Yeah, what?

What are you looking at?

Sir, sir, sir.

We're gonna have to ask

you and your wife to leave.

Yeah? She's not my wife. She's

just someone I used to f***.

Hey, easy.

Come on.

Hey, Ig, whoa. How'd it go?

You already proposed?

The party's over, Terry.

Go home.

What the hell are you talking

about? Hey, hey! I thought

we were gonna celebrate

tonight. What's going on?

Iggy, what the

f*** are you doing? Hey!

Merrin, you all right?

Good morning, Ig.

Can you roll down the

window so we can talk?

Hey, Meatbag, what's up?

When's the last time

you saw Merrin, Ig?

What's happened to her, Eric?

What makes you think

something happened to her?

Oh, f***.

It's all my fault.

Anything that happened to her,

it's all my f***ing fault.

So, do you guys want

dessert? Can I get you dessert?

I got a cherry pie.

Oh, I gotta go.

You could sit wherever you want.

Oh, wait, you're that guy.

Ig Perrish.

Yeah.

I've heard you've been telling

lies about me to the police.

Yeah, I have.

And you know, I don't even feel

a little bit bad about it.

You want to tell me exactly

what you said to them?

Well, I told them that you're

girlfriend forgot her jacket

so I followed her into

the parking lot and I saw you

drive back and scream that

you were gonna kill her.

But you know that's not true.

And that I saw you drag

her into your car...

and then you drove off.

What? Why the hell

would you say all that?

Because I want to be in

all the newspapers and on TV.

I wanna be the star

witness at your trial.

I'm pretty enough

to be on TV right?

Especially if I get my tits

lifted the way that I want.

You're just a

f***ing crazy liar!

I know I am.

I'm so bad. I'm bad.

Sometimes when people

ask me what you did...

I say that after you

beat her brains in...

that then you turned her over

and you f***ed her in the ass.

You should see their

faces when I say that.

Everybody loves a

good sex murder.

You're insane. And my

brother was here that night

and he saw me leave alone.

I'm gonna release

my own sex tape.

And I'm gonna get

a reality show.

I'm gonna be in US

magazine, smiling.

Ig!

Oh, Hey, Glenna.

How's it going?

How do you think it's going?

Because it's going

worse than that.

You all right?

Whoa. Excuse me.

I think I had something

bad this morning.

Yeah, you did.

I was there.

What? You mean last night?

No, this morning.

You don't remember any of that?

Wow.

No, I must have been

really drunk still.

Why don't you let me suck

your cock in the men's room?

I would really like that.

And I bet it would

make you feel better.

No, Glenna.

Thanks, but not right now.

The thing is, Ig...

I've always been

in love with you.

Since we were kids.

But I guess you

knew that, right?

I guess I did kinda know that.

Yeah.

God, it's just I just wish

that I could leave this town.

And just...

What's stopping you?

You.

Me? No.

It can't be me.

Right? No. Put this shithole

town in your rear view mirror

and do something

good for yourself.

Hey, go.

Ig, I didn't

know you were here.

Jesus Christ, what the

f*** is on your head?

They're horns, crazy story.

Listen, Terry...

I need you to help me.

No, f***ing just

listen to me, Terry.

The waitress from the diner,

okay, she is going to the

cops and telling them that

she saw me drag Merrin into

my car and drive away from

the diner that night.

Jesus, I know for a

fact that's not true.

Well, yeah, you know

that, and I know that

but how the hell are

we gonna prove that?

I mean, Merrin left the

diner with me that night.

What do you mean, she

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