Horny House of Horror

FASHION HEALTH PARLOURS

Today is a special day.

That tickles!

Oh, that tickles!

It's a "Lucky direction roll".

This is a "Lucky direction roll".

That's right.

Eat while facing this year's

auspicious direction and make a wish.

This year's fortuitous direction

is west-southwest.

Like this?

No, this way.

Stay still.

Sure.

What are you wishing for?

Right. You can't speak while

you're eating.

Come on, suck it

as hard as you want.

Hey, wait!

I'll never let you go.

Our team won't last

if you drop out.

Don't say that.

You celebrated our marriage,

didn't you?

I just held it back

in front of everyone.

Listen, annul your marriage

right now.

What's the point of marrying

if you can't play baseball?

I'm leaving now.

Are you listening to me?

I promised my fiance we'd discuss

the venue.

What a shame.

That's why we lost our retirement game.

What the hell!

You blame me for that?

Yes, you botched it.

No, I didn't.

That wasn't an error.

I couldnt help it, okay.

Your life is one big error.

A**hole!

Look!

- What?

That's a new parlor.

MASSAGE PARLOUR:

SHOGUN:

No way.

- Come on.

It's really cheap.

You can get Laid

for that little?

It's deflation, prices are failing.

Oh my!

I bet you're a regular.

No way!

What?

Bye.

Hey, wait!

You've never paid to get laid?

Never.

It makes me sick.

Any normal 40 year old guy

would have by now.

I'm not like you guys.

Okay, I'll treat you.

My treat,

Lets all go get laid.

Let's make it our team's

last innings.

Sounds good.

- No way.

You can either quit the team,

or choose not to join us.

But you have to choose one.

Ill quit the team,

I'm not going.

What do we do?

We force him to go.

Here we go!

Don't.

In you go.

Stop it.

- Come on.

It stinks!

What's that smell?

It's natural.

It's generations of sperm.

No, not that.

It smells like dead meat.

Are you scared?

No, I'm not.

I just hate the thought

of paying women for sex.

You sound like a virgin.

Shut up.

I always wondered why you're

such a p*ssy.

Because you're a virgin?

Yeah, you never talk about sex.

He keeps changing his story

about his first time.

Right, he does.

Get real.

Okay, so how did you lose your cherry?

We want graphic details.

I'm leaving.

C'mon, don't go.

We're just having fun.

- Get lost.

May I help you?

Three of you?

Not me.

- Yes, three.

All three of us.

Three clients, ladies.

Is that price you have outside

for real?

Yes, it's only 3,000 yen.

I bet there are extras

once we get inside.

That can't be!

I bet the girls are all old hags, right?

If you don't believe me,

you're welcome to inspect the girls.

Get ready.

What's that?

You can finger their butts before

you make your choice.

- No mistake, eh?

You mean it?

This is unbelievable.

Come here!

This is great

Oh, they're really soft.

They feel great.

Absolutely perfect.

Hey.

You can only touch them once.

Okay, I understand.

The last John l had

tearfully begged for his life.

So I made him stick

a cigarette in his tool.

Really?

What happened?

He agreed and stuck a cigarette

right down into his urethra.

I made him ram it in

right up to the filter.

What's that?

Anyway, I stubbed it out on his balls,

then I cut off his cock.

Guys today are hardly worth teasing.

They have no pride.

Exactly.

What's up?

What's up?

Someone pinched me.

- Don't make a fuss over that.

You can't help it.

You just started here recently.

Stop it, Kaori.

Don't hit on her.

Why not?

Are you jealous?

Don't worry.

You're my only love, Nonoko.

You can only touch them once.

We need to compare them,

okay?

Take that!

I don't believe it.

Come on, join in.

You first.

It's a wedding present.

No thanks.

- Go on.

You want this girl?

Okay, your time is up.

Nonoko, Nagisa and Kaoru

will entertain you.

They're getting ready now,

so please wait a while.

I didn't think you'd choose the one

who farted in your face.

that you were taking those

who gave you farted in his face.

I'll get my revenge.

One on one.

You're lucky.

You got the best one.

I didn't choose her.

You guys didn't choose her.

Give it Back.

Get it back, if you can.

Give it Back.

Hey, we've got customers.

I haven't cleaned up the mess

from the last customer.

Move, you fool!

Okay.

Oh, I feel sluggish.

Nonoko,

are you ready?

Sure, I'm the most

experienced girl in the parlor.

Good.

What about you, Nagisa?

Sorry, I don't feel well.

IThe roll I had earlier made me sick.

Are you okay?

Wanna rest?

No, I'm...

Oh, well.

She's still quite naive.

Don't be too harsh on her.

Okay.

Nonoko is ready now.

Ill kill you,

if you try to run away.

I want my cell phone back.

Draw lots.

We have a special on now.

If you win, youll be offered

a special experience.

Go ahead.

Special experience?

Did I win?

No.

Here's a consolation prize.

I don't want it.

Where's my girl?

She's coming.

- Dos and don'ts.

You can't do anything

the girl rejects.

And you can't have real sex.

Okay.

Enjoy yourselves.

Good evening.

I'm Nonoko.

How do you do.

This way, please.

Please watch your step.

Thank you.

In you go, please.

Now please sit down.

Are you a professional baseball

player?

Of course not.

We're just amateurs.

I was kidding.

So you played and then went

drinking afterwards?

Our best player retires

as of today.

He's quitting to get married.

I envy him!

I wish I could get married.

Get real, will you!

He's betrayed his friends of

more than 20 years.

Id really like to whack him

with a bat.

That's scary.

Will you take my clothes off?

You enter the room first.

Then what's next?

You just keep quiet.

The girl will entertain you.

But still....

Do you go to parlors

very often?

Yes, I'm quite the expert.

Really?

I can't get my rocks off

at the normal parlors.

I wonder if this place can do it

for me.

Id prefer an older woman,

I guess.

You're sick.

Misa will kill me,

if she finds out I was here.

She's such a stickler for prudence.

Damn Uno!

Don't say that.

He's lonely.

How come?

He's worried he'll have no one to

hang out with when you get married.

Even if l quit the team,

we're still friends.

We'll get together and go drinking

just like always.

I wonder.

She's always texting you to

hurry back home.

You said it was your decision to

quit the team.

But she made you,

didn't she?

Look, this is not the right place

to discuss this.

I've always enjoyed hanging out

with you guys.

But since I started going out

with Misa,

something inside me has

changed.

Honestly, Ive never been

serious about life before.

I was shallow-minded.

But after I met Misa...

I decided to dedicate my life,

my very heart and soul, to her.

Maybe that sounds too idealistic.

But that's how I feel.

It's good to have someone waiting

for you at home.

I really mean it.

You've found the perfect girl.

But don't tell Uno.

He'll only make a fool of me.

Do you feel good?

I'm coming!

I'm coming now!

What the hell!

That'll teach you.

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