Horrible Bosses Page #2

across from him.

HARKEN:

Here's my concern, Nick. You're a

punctual guy. You understand the

importance of getting to work on

time. So that leaves me to wonder

if there isn't something wrong

with the internal clock in our

security system. What do you

think?

NICK:

I don't know, Mr. Harken. I might

have been a minute late.

HARKEN:

Two minutes according to this. So

either you're a liar -- which I

know you're not -- or our system

is off by a full minute. And if

that's the case, I have no choice

but to dismiss Thomas, our

longtime security coordinator.

NICK:

Okay, I might have been two

minutes late.

There's an uncomfortable beat. Then --

HARKEN:

So you did lie.

NICK:

No, I --

Harken picks up the phone.

NICK:

Who are you calling?

HARKEN:

Thomas. I'm letting him go.

(CONTINUED)

5.

13 CONTINUED:
13

NICK:

Wait! Okay, I guess I lied. But

I didn't mean to --

HARKEN:

(hangs up phone)

Trust is everything in this

office, my friend. I know you've

been working your tail off for

that promotion, but if I can't

trust you, how can I make you

Senior VP of Sales?

NICK:

I understand. You can trust me.

HARKEN:

Now you sound like my wife.

He glances at a framed photo on his desk.

14 INSERT - PHOTO 14

of the hot, bikini-clad MRS. HARKEN, 30's, standing on a

beach.

15 BACK TO SCENE 15

HARKEN:

(IMITATING HER)

`Trust me, honey.' `Trust me.'

Meanwhile, she's making love to

every guy in the neighborhood.

NICK:

(UNCOMFORTABLE)

Oh, I'm sure she's... loyal to

YOU --

HARKEN:

How could you possibly know that?

NICK:

I don't.

HARKEN:

Are you making love to my wife,

Nick?

NICK:

What?! No!

(CONTINUED)

6.

15 CONTINUED:
15

HARKEN:

I'm just kidding around. She's

out of your league. No offense.

NICK:

None taken.

HARKEN:

Hmm.

Harken has crossed to a credenza with several bottles of

booze, two glasses and an ice bucket. He begins to fill

a glass with ice and Scotch.

HARKEN:

Would you like one?

NICK:

It's 8:
15.

HARKEN:

You think there's something wrong

with a man enjoying a drink in the

morning?

NICK:

(QUICKLY)

No, no. It's fine. I'd love a

drink.

Harken hands him the drink he just poured.

NICK:

Thank you.

HARKEN:

My pleasure.

Harken returns to his chair and sits.

NICK:

Aren't you having one?

HARKEN:

It's 8:
15, Nick. I'm not an

alcoholic.

NICK:

Oh. Well, I only took it because

I thought you were having one.

HARKEN:

You took a drink because you

thought I was going to have one?

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

7.

15 CONTINUED:
(2) 15

HARKEN (CONT'D)

That doesn't exactly sound like

something a Senior VP would do.

NICK:

Well, I --

HARKEN:

What if you thought I was going to

dip my balls in honey and shaved

coconut? Would you do that too?

NICK:

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Of course not.

HARKEN:

Of course not. Anyway, we've

moved up the date of the AGM so

you're gonna need to complete your

due diligence by Monday. You'll

probably need to be here all

weekend.

NICK:

(SIGHS)

Okay.

HARKEN:

Hey, you want a promotion, you've

gotta earn it. Life's a marathon

and you can't win a marathon

without putting a few Band-Aids on

your nipples.

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