Horrible Bosses Page #8

PELLIT (O.S.)

Yo, dickwall! What the f***?

Kurt sees Bobby Pellit standing in the doorway of what

was Jack's office.

KURT:

What?

PELLIT:

You're three hours late. What's

the deal?

KURT:

I was at your father's funeral.

PELLIT:

Maybe that excuse would've flown

when my dad was here, but I'm in

charge now.

KURT:

That excuse wouldn't have made any

sense when your dad was here.

PELLIT:

In my office. Now.

25.

31 INT. PELLIT'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 31

Kurt enters. He notices that the "Jack Pellit" nameplate

has been partially taped over with the name "Bobby"

scribbled in magic marker.

PELLIT:

Sit.

Kurt sits. Bobby quickly slips a small mirror and rolled

up dollar bill into a drawer. Kurt sees Bobby has tossed

most of Jack's mementos, achievement awards and photos

with luminaries in the trash.

PELLIT:

I've been looking over the books.

You're the accountant. Tell me

why this company is in the

crapper.

KURT:

It's not in the crapper. It's a

recession. But we're still

profitable.

PELLIT:

Bullshit. Look, I know you and my

dad were pals. Frankly, I always

thought it was weird and gay and I

never understood why my dad

thought you were so great. But it

doesn't matter now because he's in

the ground and I'm your boss. And

there's gonna be some changes

around here. First of all...

(pointing to a

BALANCE SHEET)

What is this `EnviroTech Waste

Management' sh*t that we're paying

so much for?

KURT:

Your father made the decision to

pay a little more to dispose of

our chemical waste responsibly.

PELLIT:

Yeah, f*** that. We've got an

offer from Bolivia to dump the

stuff for a third the cost.

KURT:

But that would endanger thousands

of local residents.

(CONTINUED)

26.

31 CONTINUED:
31

PELLIT:

So some jungle tribesmen get

cancer. Boo friggin' hoo.

KURT:

They're not tribesmen. It's a

MODERN --

(THEN)

Look, Bobby, your dad told me very

clearly he'd die before he'd save

money by hurting people.

PELLIT:

Well then, we're right on

schedule, aren't we?

Kurt's eyes narrow. He reaches into the trash can and

grabs one of Jack's discarded ACHIEVEMENT TROPHIES and

PLUNGES its pointy end deep into Pellit's chest, impaling

him in his chair.

SMASH CUT TO:

32 SAME SCENE (REALITY) 32

Kurt sits across from an unharmed Pellit.

PELLIT:

Oh, and we also need to trim the

fat around here.

KURT:

(snapping out of it)

What do you mean?

PELLIT:

I want you to fire the fat people.

They're slow and lazy and they

make me sad to look at. Start

with Large Marge.

ANGLE ON Margie at her desk.

KURT:

Margie's not fat. She's pregnant.

I'm not firing her.

PELLIT:

Fine. Then fire Professor Xavier

over there.

ANGLE ON a balding, middle-aged man in a wheelchair,

HANK, who sits at a desk near Margie's.

(CONTINUED)

27.

32 CONTINUED:
32

KURT:

Hank?

PELLIT:

He creeps me out. Rolling around

in that weird little chair of his.

KURT:

I'm not firing anyone! It's like

you don't care about this company

at all.

PELLIT:

No sh*t. You think when I was a

kid I dreamed of running a f***ing

chemical company? No. I dreamed

of retiring. Of being fed

tropical fruit on a beach by a

model while she blows me. And as

soon as I squeeze all the profit

out of this place, that's exactly

what I'm gonna do. So here's the

deal. You either fire the fatty

or the cripple, or I fire both of

them.

33 INT. PELLIT CHEMICAL CO. - MOMENTS LATER 33

Kurt sighs as he looks from Margie to Hank and back. At

last, he gathers his resolve and crosses to Hank's desk.

From a RESPECTFUL DISTANCE we watch as Kurt breaks the

news to Hank who reacts with sad resignation.

Kurt turns to see Pellit standing directly beside him.

PELLIT:

(loudly, to the room)

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