Horrible Bosses 2

1

Hey, hey. If you're coming in

for the morning grind...

...it's another brutal Monday out there

traffic-wise.

The 2 is slow-and-go to the 5.

A Sig Alert is bogging down the I-10.

And if you're on the 405 freeway,

you're probably already late for work.

If your boss gives you a hard time about it,

have him come down here and talk to...

- ...Rachel.

- Oh, no.

Zing! Ha, ha. Thanks, Skip.

But, hey, speaking of bosses,

after the break...

...we get to meet three guys who are chasing

their dream of becoming their own bosses.

Stay with us.

And we're out. Very good, guys.

We're back in 90 seconds.

Jesus Christ.

Dale, you gotta stop sweating, pal.

- Oh, wow, you are wet.

- "Stop sweating." How do I stop sweating?

This is a big deal.

We got everything riding on this.

We've quit our jobs, I have three children

to think about now. How about that?

Think about this. You do a good job now,

you're gonna make your boys very proud.

- Girls. I have three girls, dude.

- Hmm? Right. You can't even tell at that age.

- They basically look like potatoes with arms.

- Don't call my kids potatoes.

- Respect the kids.

- Don't piss him off.

- They wear pink!

- Calm him down.

A lot of guys wear pink.

- I have a pink polo shirt that I love.

- Come on.

- Can we get a roll of paper towels?

- Can I get paper towels?!

Why are you barking at people?

He's saying please, you're just barking.

- Bad manners.

- Buddy, dry your face.

- He's freaking out.

- It's unbelievable.

- Can you go on without me?

- Why don't you wait in the car?

Stop, this is gonna be easy.

You have to calm down.

Look, Nick's gonna hit them with facts

and figures, because he's the brains, right?

You talk about how you and your wife f***ed

and made three potatoes with arms.

You're the heart. Me,

I'll do my thing, get in where I fit in.

- You're the soul?

- No, I'm the dick and balls.

- Got it.

- Why would I wanna be the soul?

- Just don't pass out. Just keep breathing.

- See? This will be easy.

- All we have to do is be ourselves.

- Let's not. Ourselves is a Dumpster fire.

- Let's be better. Let's try to elevate a little.

- That's a good note. Nobody be themselves.

All right, we're back in 20 seconds.

Hey, fellas, thanks for coming.

- Nice to meet you.

- Good morning. How are you?

Hey, my man. There's trouble.

- Too much.

- Well, he went with it.

- Dale Arbus.

- Pleasure to meet you, man.

- Thanks for coming on. This will be fun.

- Yeah.

Does that zip all the way down?

And we're back in five, four...

Get up, get up, get up, and get out.

Ha, ha! And we're back.

You know, every week we like to highlight...

...local inventors and entrepreneurs

in our Big Idea Spotlight.

That's right, Mike.

And today we have

three modern-day...

...Edisons who've created a new shower gadget

they hope to really clean up with.

Please, welcome Nick, Kurt and Dale.

- Pleasure to be here.

- Before we get to the product, can you tell us...

...what is it that inspired three regular Joes

to go into business for yourselves?

We were all working at pretty terrible jobs

for some awful bosses.

And thought if we got a chance to be

our own bosses, we'd do things differently.

This might be our shot.

We didn't think we'd get the chance,

but Dale had an amazing idea.

Don't go to Dale.

And, uh, we started meeting together

to talk about the invention...

...instead of complaining about our jobs.

Hey, I think that's exciting.

Dale, you know, I just wanna know,

where did the idea come from...

- ...for a new showerhead?

- I have three kids.

So that's the heart.

- That's a blessing.

- Yeah, well, he has triplets.

In all honesty, it's too many.

I'm pretty overwhelmed.

Well, he's got them on his mind, clearly.

Uh, let me answer the question.

Dale, uh, had just gotten back

from one of those self-service car washes...

- ...with the wand with the soap.

- It's got everything in one thing.

He thought, "Why don't they make

one of these for your body?"

After we had a few beers,

we came up with the, uh, Shower Buddy.

- The Shower Buddy?

- I'm sorry, that name's not official yet.

- No, he's wrong. It is official.

- I wanted the "Shower Daddy."

- "Shower Daddy" is worse on every level.

- I have to agree with Nick.

Better than having

some strange dude with you.

It's not some strange dude,

as I've said many times. It's your buddy.

- Why would your buddy be in the shower?

- Why would your dad?

- Uh-oh.

- Don't scream on television.

You know what? How about you fellas

show us how this gizmo works?

- Right? Let's get it going. Ha, ha.

- Yes. Make it rain. Yes. Work it, work it.

Oh, this is awesome.

Kurt's gonna turn on the shower.

You're gonna see the water come out.

After a bit, the shampoo's gonna automatically

be triggered out of the showerhead--

- No water pressure.

- The blue handle.

- No water pressure.

- There's a pump on the back.

- I could pump it manually.

- Dale's gonna help out. Thank you, buddy.

- Pump.

- You got it?

- I got it.

- Yeah?

Water comes out,

the shampoo mixes with the water...

...then shortly after that, conditioner.

You shower in half the time

with the Shower Buddy.

The average American-- I don't know if you

know this. --spends 50 hours a week working.

- Hand's cramping up.

- Here, let me help.

--Commuting.

If we can save you just five minutes...

- The whole rod's too dry, right?

- Yeah, spit on it.

- Better?

- See, yeah. If you lube it up, it's better.

Oh, no, absolutely.

I'm sorry. There's a hole in the back.

I'm gonna stick my finger in it.

We don't really care how you get it done.

Just get it done. Get it finished.

- Whatever it takes.

- Live TV, right?

Live TV. What are you gonna do?

- Yeah. Here we go.

- Oh, here it comes.

Hey!

- I told you.

- Works just as promised, okay?

- Now, go ahead and shut it off.

- It's so cool. I want one.

You can't have this one. It's the prototype.

But we're looking for partners.

I'll tell you right now. I'm sold.

I wanna invest.

We got one. All right, Mike.

Now, how would I get in touch

with you guys?

- You go straight to Nickkurtdale.

- I'm sorry, what?

It's our website. Nickkurtdale. com.

I'm positive I'm not hearing that right.

It's our names:
Nick, Kurt, Dale.

Nickkurtdale.

Y'all gotta change that name.

Cannot believe

we never said it out loud before.

It looked so good on paper.

It was a nice dream while it lasted, but I think

it's time we all go beg for our jobs back.

Maybe just accept the fact

that we'll always be cogs in the machine.

Wait. C*cks in the machine. What is that?

"Cogs." Guh.

You know what? You're right.

We're not boss material.

We're worker bees. We're grunts.

Oh, boy. That song. I can't hear that now.

Just put it on vibrate.

- Will you stop?

- Please?

- I picked this song to inspire us.

- It's not inspiring me.

Look at this. Unknown caller.

- Just answer it.

- Hello?

Yup, this is one of the Shower Buddy guys.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote