Horrible Bosses 2 Page #2

Mm-hm.

Really? Yes. No, of course.

I know exactly who you are.

Look up "Boulder Stream." Boulder Stream.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

We're very proud of the product.

- E-mail us the details, that'll be fine.

- Is that a real thing?

- Yeah, my e-mail?

- Not yours.

It's P-H-A-T-B-A-L-L...

...L-L-Z...

Yeah. All right. Thank you. Yeah.

- See you tomorrow.

- Wow.

Holy sh*t.

Boulder Stream loves the Shower Buddy.

Who the f*** is Boulder Stream?

Only one of the largest catalog retailers

in North America.

You're gonna hear me roar.

Nice.

When you're in a good mood,

it's a good song. Bad mood, bad song.

That's art. That's good art.

- Man, this place is legit.

- Yeah, it's nice.

- Did you see the free cookies?

- Yeah, you clearly have. That's four of those.

- You're gonna have chocolate on your face.

- When we meet this guy...

...when you shake his hand,

use your other hand and touch his elbow.

- It's a classy move.

- I don't know this move. Let me see.

- Like that.

- Please, both sit down.

- That's nice.

- How about that? Not bad.

- That's really good.

- You got chocolate on your fingers.

Now it's on my jacket.

- Put water on it.

- I don't need water. That will set it.

- Get the cookie away from me.

- No, it's like a fire-on-fire thing.

No, the water will set it.

Ha! There they are.

There are my shower buddies.

How are you? In the flesh.

It's just like on that morning show.

You're always fighting. I love it.

- Yeah, it's a...

- Rex Hanson.

- Oh, hey. Kurt Buckman.

- Good to see you.

- Nice to see you.

- Classy handshake.

- Nick Hendricks.

- Nick, pleasure.

Hey, uh, Dale Arb-- Uh--

- Shoot. I just learned it.

- We can do it whichever way you want.

- Right?

- To be clear, we're not racist.

Well, that's good. We can use that.

Why don't we grab the refreshments, coffee?

Grab some cookies.

Let's head upstairs. Let's talk

about this product. Is that corduroy?

Step inside. Dreams do come true.

You guys want something to drink?

- I'll take one.

- Sure.

- No. It's very early.

- No for us. Sorry.

I'm gonna cut right to it, gentlemen.

The Shower Buddy: a home run.

Well, Mr. Hanson, we couldn't be happier--

Mr. Hanson is my father. It's "Rex."

Please, sit down. Get comfortable.

Take a seat.

We want you to know that we are a company

you can be very proud to be in business with.

- Our workers are all gonna have health care--

- I don't really give a sh*t about that.

Do you see this?

This is Jimi Hendrix's actual guitar.

Heh, yeah. The one he did the fire and fingers

thing with. You like cool sh*t like this?

- We love cool sh*t.

- I'm into cool sh*t.

- You like f***ing samurais?

- Samurais? Sure.

I knew you did. Get into business with me,

you're gonna have f***ing loads of it.

- So you are offering to carry our product--?

- Wait a minute. Check this out.

Miss Lang, will you come in here a moment?

Now what?

Jesus f***ing Christ.

Sweetheart, we were racking our brains.

What's a beer can made out of?

Do you mean aluminum?

- That'll be all, Miss Lang. Thank you.

- Okay.

And where does she go now?

Now, that is the kind of cool sh*t

you have to look forward to.

Best part about this deal:

you're not gonna have to lift a finger.

My company will assume

all future product development...

...outsource manufacturing to China...

...and you receive a handsome one-time

development fee.

- I wanna dig in on the one-time fee because--

- You see this football?

This is the one Peyton Manning threw

and the guy caught it in his helmet. Keep it.

You know, Rex, the one-time fee thing, we're

not looking to give up control of the company.

Right. We wanna handle all the manufacturing

and you guys do distribution.

What, you manufacture? Here, in America?

- That's the plan.

- The American-dream thing.

Boys, I hate to break it to you,

but the American dream, it's made in China.

Now, look, I respect your navet, uh...

...but I'm afraid that this deal

only happens one way.

I did say "handsome fee," right?

Can I have one minute?

Just love to talk to my partners.

You got it. Take your time. I'll be over here.

- Oh, boy.

- Man.

- What do you think?

- I didn't wanna say anything...

...but he means Eli Manning,

not Peyton Manning.

- Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Kurt.

- I think she has an amazing f***ing body...

...but that accent puts her over the top.

It's insane. That dress.

Agreed on both points. How about the deal?

- The deal. Gotta take it.

- We should take it.

- Take the money and get out.

- He's got cool sh*t.

- Imagine having your own cool sh*t.

- But look at this place.

I mean, these guys make loads of money

selling stuff...

...and he just called our Shower Buddy

a home run.

- Why sell a home run for a one-time fee?

- That's a good point.

I don't know.

I could use the money for Stacy and the girls.

That's a good point. That's true.

I could use money.

I get that.

But maybe it's not just about the money.

That's a good point.

Maybe it's about never having to work

for anybody ever again.

- That's right.

- Right? Being our own bosses.

- I say we bet on ourselves.

- Me too.

- You're right.

- I'm in.

I'm in. Let's do it.

Okay. Rex. Ahem.

- Uh, no deal.

- Sorry.

- We're, uh, betting on ourselves.

- Is that right?

Yeah. And no hard feelings.

Honestly, we really appreciate the offer.

- Sorry.

- Yeah. I can respect that.

Takes some serious balls to walk away

from 3 million bucks.

Hang on. Three million dollars?

We'll take that.

Sorry. Offer's off the table.

We'll take half. Half is fine.

Can we have half?

Ship's sailed.

Thank you so much for coming in.

Dale, I'm gonna need that ball back.

Good luck building something in America.

You know...

...I built this company from the bottom up

here in America.

- Dad, I didn't know you were back.

- What'd I tell you about using my office?

- I know, I just thought, you know...

- Bert Hanson.

You're the Shower Buddy guys?

- Yes, sir.

- Yeah. We are, sir.

I respect you gentlemen for wanting

to roll up your sleeves and build something...

...stake your claim.

Now, I came to this country with nothing.

And through risk and hard work,

I made my own American dream come true.

- Good for you.

- Well, here's what I'm gonna do.

I'll refer you to my contact

at Pacific Shore National.

- That's a bank.

- They won't balk at giving you a loan...

...once they hear that Bert Hanson

just has placed an initial order of, say, um...

...100,000 units?

- A hundred-thousand Shower Buddies?

- Whoa. Ha!

You're gonna make

100,000 Shower Buddies?

Dad, what are you talking about?

We never make this kind of deal.

I'm sorry, sir.

But Boulder Stream needs to be

your exclusive retailer.

- Uh, let's think it over. Of course.

- We won't pick up the phone if anyone calls.

- We have a deal?

- Yeah, you got a f***ing deal.

- Hey, all right. There it is.

- I got his elbow. Yeah.

- I got some chocolate on you there.

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