Horrible Bosses 2 Page #3

- It doesn't matter.

That's great. That is good news.

So it's 20,000 square feet,

but it's a minimum five-year lease.

Twenty thousand.

That sounds like a lot more than we need.

But we want something

we can grow into, right?

- And we have a really big order, Nick.

- Damn straight. Come on, Nick.

- Nick. Nick.

- I don't know.

- You know, I say we take it. I say we take it.

- Yes.

- Yes, we do.

- Excellent.

You've got no work experience at all.

Is that bad?

Are you kidding? It's great.

- You're enthusiastic and you're unjaded.

- And unqualified.

- You know what? You're hired.

- Oops.

- Really?

- That was unexpected and, uh, undeserving.

You're hired.

That's a yes. That's an obvious yes.

- Well, again, uh...

- No rsum at all.

Don't need it. Your eyes speak.

You seem honest.

Hold on, pal.

- Um, you're hired.

- Really?

- I mean, if you'll have us.

- Thank you.

- Becoming faster now.

- Well--

- Can you start on Saturday evening?

- Absolutely.

Okay, great, I'll get ahold of you.

- Says here you've been convicted of a felony.

- That was bullshit.

Word up, though, I get that, man.

Like, pfft, I had a similar thing.

They tried to peg me as a child sex offender.

It was total bullshit.

Oh, yo, yo, yo.

I ain't down with no kid-f***ers.

- I'm not down with kid sh*t either.

- Yeah, none of us are.

N-to-the-O, brother.

We do not support that at all.

But, you know, let's just give the guy a job.

Just... Yeah. I don't wanna upset this guy.

Well, tell you what, Tiffany. You're hired.

- I'm hired?

- Yeah, you are.

- There you go. There you go.

- Oh, thank you.

We'll see you later. See you Monday.

Get out of here.

Kurt, you gotta stop hiring

hot unqualified women.

What's the point of being boss

if you can't stock the pond?

You realize you can't sleep

with these women?

- What?

- You're the boss. It's sexual harassment.

Remember sexual harassment?

I tried to kill my boss. Ring a bell?

I gotta fire them all now? We just hired them.

You can't fire them because you're not

allowed to sleep with them.

Also sexual harassment.

Why are we even doing this, then?

All right, let's talk dress code.

- Forget it.

- There is no dress code.

- Come on.

- You can dress however you want.

Whatever makes you feel comfortable--

Well, there goes a shirt. All right.

- It's a choice.

- Well...

That's the wrong choice, though.

Gotta wear a shirt. That's the one...

He's walking away from me.

He might have been a bad hire.

Who's having fun, huh?

Hey, guys.

Everybody seems very happy.

This was a great idea.

Yeah, I know.

This could be an issue, though.

It is Bring Your Kids to Work Day,

not Put Your Kids to Work Day.

They're not working.

They consider this playing.

I tried to tell them to stop,

and they started crying.

- They have boxed 1200 units already.

- Unethical-- 1200?

- Yeah.

- Well, that's productive, though.

- Yeah.

- And they seem happy.

- Let them play another ten minutes, maybe.

- I say we let them play through lunch.

- Yeah. Legally I think I'll change the sign.

- Yeah.

Oh, boy. This is it.

Here we go. Here we go.

- We did it. We're at 100,000.

- We did it?

- Yeah.

- Let me see.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

- This is a great idea.

- How do you think they mow this?

- Sure we shouldn't have called ahead?

- No. He's gonna love it.

Cake and balloons.

Don't think that's overdoing it?

No. I think he's gonna be psyched

the order's done three days early.

I think he's gonna be flipping out

to see us out on his course.

I wouldn't be surprised

if he gives us a membership.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

Oh, my God. I want that.

Yeah!

Surprise. Ha, ha.

Sir, we finished your order

and it is ready to be shipped.

Excellent news.

We got you a little cake that says,

"Thanks for believing in us!"

- And some balloons of course.

- We're the "us."

Congratulations, boys.

What an accomplishment.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have

to cancel that order.

What'd he say?

- Sounded like he said "cancel the order."

- What?

- Cancel what?

- Cancel the order.

Don't need it.

- Wait, no. That doesn't work.

- You can't do that.

- We went 500 grand in the hole.

- We were in business.

- If you don't buy, we are ruined.

- It's a $500,000 order.

- The American dream and all that.

- He's gonna putt. He's just gonna putt.

- He makes the putt.

- Can you explain what's happening?

- And why you're doing this?

- Yeah, sure. Fair question.

You see, boys, in one week

your bridge loan comes due...

...and you won't be able to pay it.

And your loan officer has assured me

no extension will be granted.

At that moment,

your company will go into foreclosure...

...and I will buy all of those units at auction

for pennies on the dollar.

Cheaper than I could have gotten them

from the Chinese.

- Oh, my f***ing God.

- I can't believe this.

Anyway, as an added bonus,

I will also own your patent...

...and these gentlemen here will take over

manufacturing of our new product:

The Shower Pal.

- It's a better name too.

- It is.

- Goddamn it.

- F***ing hell.

Oh, Dad, that is a hell of a f***ing play.

We should fit these guys for crowns

because they just got f***ed royally.

Rex. No call for this MTV showboating.

They're aware of their defeat.

In these moments,

it's more impactful to be still.

What about that stuff about hard work

and starting a company in America?

- The American dream and hard work.

- All bullshit?

You honestly think

hard work creates wealth?

The only thing that creates wealth is wealth.

And we have it. You don't.

Okay. Okay. You know what?

- Take it easy. Take it easy.

- I got it. Hey.

Listen, bucko. You don't wanna

make enemies out of us, okay?

Whoa, easy. I didn't walk all up on you.

I make new enemies every day.

It's called business.

Thank you, gentlemen, for stopping by.

Have a lovely day.

Rex, get the cake.

Ow.

Rich motherfucking, overprivileged,

f***ing a**holes.

What happened to decency?

- I'm gonna lose my house.

- Yeah.

Stacy's gonna divorce me.

She's gonna marry some dude.

- I'll have supervised visits at McDonald's.

- F***ing McDonald's.

What were we thinking? Who bets

on themselves? Why did we do that?

- What?

- You're the one who talked me into it.

I was on the fence.

We're f***ed! Our employees are f***ed.

What about them? What about Lupe?

This is just a problem. That means

all we gotta do is come up with a solution.

We'll put some ideas up on the board.

That's what I'm talking about.

Here we go. Let's go.

- No idea's a bad idea.

- No idea's a bad idea.

- Who's gonna start us off?

- I got it.

- Kurt.

- Kill these motherfuckers.

- No, no.

- Murder! Yes.

- You don't need to write that down.

- Kill them.

- Let's f***ing kill them! I want them dead!

- Kill them.

- We open up their brains and shove them--

- Then we f*** the skulls!

- I'm getting that taste, Nick.

- They're f***ing dead!

- We're f***ing doing it again!

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