Horror Heaven

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1

Good evening, my dear friends.

Let us undertake

a cinematic journey...

through the world of fantasy.

To this end, I have dug up a few major

movie treats from my Film archives.

Let's begin with an ancient picture that

was gathering dust on my Film shelf:

The Mummy

The Mummy

The time has come again.

The mummy has found some reason

to awaken from its century-long sleep.

Naturally, the mummy falls in love

with an unknown girl...

whom it mistakes

for its long-lost love.

Why are we afraid

of that stiff blockhead?

Everybody should be familiar

with the subject of the next Film:

the creation of an artiFicial being

from body parts of the dead.

We all know the story.

In this castle,

Dr. Frankenstein has his laboratory...

where he created a man

from corpses.

He and his servant Fritz

are on the verge...

of breathing new life into the creature

with the help of electricity.

Now, Fritz! The time has come.

At last I know what it means...

to feel like God!

Of course, the calculations of our

brilliant scientist don't pan out...

and the creature only does

what monsters will do.

Then, one night,

something horrible happens.

Why did you do that?

Create a woman for me,

or you will end up like Fritz.

Dr. Frankenstein knows the monster

will kill him too if he resists...

so he creates

a bride for the monster.

There is your woman!

What are you doing?

She's ugly!

Yes, she was ugly indeed.

In its boundless rage,

the monster pushes the button...

that can destroy

the entire laboratory.

So much for Frankenstein.

But let's get back

to the mummy...

because it's about to seek revenge.

The Revenge Of The Mummy

Short and painful, this revenge!

Now on to something

completely different.

A superhero!

The world-famous Captain Berlin.

This time he must contend

with an alien...

who has just landed

in his apartment.

Captain Berlin Against Hyxar

Listen to me, Earthling.

I am Hyxar...

the terrible bounty hunter

from space.

My master, Mr. Wind,

has sent me...

to destroy you, Captain Berlin!

So prepare for battle!

On to battle!

My God!

This can mean only one thing.

I must transform myself!

You can't run away from me.

This is a case for Captain Berlin.

I must save the world!

My family is in danger!

Well, that, too,

was resolved quickly.

However, what happens when we ravage

and pollute our good Earth...

and, as a result, a giant dinosaur

breaks free to the surface?

This mine is a waste dump

containing hydroxynometaline...

one of the most toxic substances

our civilization produces.

Gazorra. :
The Beast

From The Depths Of The Earth

Yes, I will report it.

Commander, a very serious radio call

on channel 1 3!

A gigantic creature has emerged

from the earth...

near the hydroxynometaline stockpile!

What? That's impossible!

All armored combat units

ready for attack!

We will get the creature!

Fire! Fire!

Yes, good! Roger.

Commander, the monster

has reached the city.

Oh, my God!

My research leads me to believe...

that this dinosaur

is a gazorrasaur.

This is a dinosaur species that

has been extinct for millions of years.

Then the time is ripe!

We can Finally try out

our giant combat robot.

Stop! Please rethink your actions.

After all, this is

an invaluable jewel for science.

I must insist

that you catch it alive.

Logically speaking, this is true,

but it won't get us far.

The super giant combat robot

is a secret weapon.

We have never tried it before.

It has super-hyper-mano-facture

turbines...

and several super weapons

on board, of course.

It will put an end to this Gazorra.

I'm telling you:

You will regret this!

But at least leave me the bones!

Humankind will thank me.

Giant combat robot,

forward march!

Good. Thank you.

Commander, bad news. Operation Robot

has unfortunately failed.

Damn! This leaves us

with only one last option: the bomb.

- Where is the monster?

- At the train station, Commander.

Very good. Then we'll put

the bomb on a railway car...

a remote-control railway car...

and let it slam into the beast.

May God be with us!

After this classically tragic ending,

it is very difFicult for me...

to present to you

the following modern bloody horror.

But not to fear!

Let it roll!

This is the home

of sex-offender Bruno.

It seems he's not home yet.

Well, I suppose

he's still out hunting.

Oh, I hear something.

Let's listen. He's coming.

Come here. Now!

Well, after this

I can only wish you bon appetit...

and say good-bye to you blood-lickers

until next time.

Good-bye.

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