Hot Shots! Part Deux

:: HOT SHOTS! PART DEUX ::

[Whistles]

[Humming]

[Speaking Arabic]

Arsenio Hall!

Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo!

Team two, take the prison.

We hit the villa.

Little sister,

this is big brother.

We are in the ballpark.

Big brother, little sister.

We're at the prison.

[Dog Barking]

[Dog Burps]

[Growling]

Little sister,

this is big brother.

Are you in position?

Big brother, little sister.

Affirmative.

Attack in 30.

Starting now.

[Vacuum Running]

[Sucking]

Ahh... ahh... ooh.

6...

5... 4...

3... 2...

It's an ambush.

Alka Seltzer!

Whoa!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Big brother,

where are you?

[Yelling In Arabic]

Surrender, yankee infidels,

you have no chance.

Off to prison,

American satans.

[Automatic Gunfire]

[Screaming In Arabic]

Good evening.

Americans were shocked today

by the announcement

of the failure

of yet another mission

to rescue our hostages

from the Middle East.

Informed sources reveal

that the rescue team itself

has been captured

and added to those

already being held.

Preliminary reports

also indicate

that an attempt on the life

of a terrorist dictator

was thwarted

at the same time.

With the presidential

election just 10 days away...

this could be a setback

for the White House.

Presidential challenger

Senator Gray Edwards

campaigning in Chattanooga

commented on

the failed mission.

This is no time

for partisan politics.

Bringing our people home

should be the nation's

number one priority.

Despite this current crisis

the president is putting

on his best political face.

Continuing

on his campaign schedule

Benson's 20-point lead

in the polls 6 months ago

has plummeted since

the hostage crisis began.

A CNN/Victoria's Secret

catalog poll

now has the president and Edwards

running neck and neck.

This afternoon,

Benson made a brief stop

in Fergus Falls, Virginia

for the groundbreaking

of his presidential library.

The five living

former chief executives...

Presidents Bush, Reagan,

Carter, Ford, and Nixon...

were on hand for this

groundbreaking ceremony.

White House correspondent

Jeri Kelter

reports on this

historic moment.

The library is to be

built adjacent

to the Fergus Falls Civic Center.

President Benson

made no statements

as he went about his business.

Publicly, it seemed

as though he was unaware

of the political blow

he had been dealt.

Privately, aides marveled

at his spirit

as he performed

his usual morning routine

by milking

the White House goats

and finishing a second helping

of grapefruit

and creamed corn.

Tonight, the president

and his top advisors

will be burning

the midnight oil.

Sabotage.

My God, man,

what does it mean?

We have to tighten

security, sir...

find out who's behind it.

No, no, no.

The word sabotage

what's it mean?

Someone's trying

to subvert our mission.

One of our own people

could be working

with the enemy.

- [Banging Pipe]

- Come in.

- Mr. President.

- Aah! Oh, Jesus.

Don't you ever sneak up on me

like that again.

What is it, Bob?

If Edwards gets wind of this

he'll use it against you.

He'll try to prove

you're incompetent.

I can prove that

as well as he can.

The CIA can't afford

another failure.

We want to send

Colonel Walters

to get our people out.

To insure the mission's success,

we'll need Topper Harley.

We think we've located him

in the Far East.

Topper Harley.

We've served

together before, sir.

There's no one better.

Cookie?

Not me, sir.

Young lady?

No, thank you.

No, I was just offering him

a young lady.

Oh, yeah, Topper Harley.

Good. I love the boy.

Kid's got guts.

Why, there isn't a fighting man

on this planet...

Gotcha! Listening

at the door, huh?

Well, Walters, looks like

we've got our saboteur.

That's your wife, sir.

Hah! Yeah, so it is.

Lavinia, you're looking as lovely

as the day we met.

Find out what she knows.

As for you,

get me Topper Harley.

[Honking]

[Screaming And Yelling]

Three. Three. Three.

Hmm.

[Man Yells]

- [Crash]

- [Woman Yells]

Gummi bears! Gummi bears!

Gummi bears!

Gummi bears!

Gummi bears!

Sprinkles! Sprinkles!

Gummi bears!

Gummi bears!

Sprinkles! Sprinkles!

[Speaking Thai]

Aisle 5, mezzanine,

to your left.

Program! Get you program

right here!

One pig snout sandwich.

Both fighters

are starting to show

serious signs of fatigue.

They're walking around.

Hey, this is where

your conditioning pays off.

Cootchy-cootchy-coo.

Cootchy-cootchy-coo.

Cootchy-cootchy-coo.

[High-Pitched Voice]

You win.

Topper! Topper! Topper!

Topper! Topper!

Topper!

Topper! Topper! Topper!

Topper Harley!

Mmm.

Topper.

I don't believe it.

Topper.

Colonel.

Good to see you again.

Yeah. You, too.

You want to tell me about it?

Well, they let me live here.

I help out fixing things.

It's peaceful, quiet.

No one is allowed to talk.

And that dim sum fighting

in the warehouse yesterday?

I just do that

for the extra money

and to satisfy my male cravings

to kill and win.

Colonel, who are they?

She's CIA.

The other man's an extra.

Ah.

What does she do?

Heads up covert operations

in the Middle East...

reports directly

to President Benson.

Colonel, these men have

taken a supreme vow of celibacy

like their fathers

and their fathers before them.

They haven't seen

a woman in decades.

Miss Huddleston.

Ow! Ow!

This is Michelle Huddleston.

Topper Harley.

Pleasure.

You're sure not easy to find.

Why are you keeping track?

It's like the colonel says...

good men are hard to find.

I don't know

how much you know

about what went on

after the last war...

but several of our men

were missing in action.

On two occasions

we sent squads to rescue them.

Both missions failed.

We have to go in to get the men

who went in to get the men

who went in

to get the men.

- What's this

got to do with me?

- I'm going this time.

We want you

to go with him, Topper.

Why me, ma'am?

Because you're the best

of what's left.

My war's over.

- Whoa!

- [Splash]

This will cost you

a few extra dollars...

but you'll make

that back and more

on your heating bill.

We're going to be

caulking the ashram

if you want to stop by.

Thanks, Bob.

This mission

is important, Topper.

We've got to take care

of our people.

Come with me.

When are you going to

put Ramada behind you?

What are you talking about?

You say your war is over.

Well, maybe the one

out there is...

but not the one inside you.

You're running away

from the pain...

but it won't solve anything

because wherever you go...

you take the pain with you.

You've come a long way

to bring me a lecture.

I know you were hurt

when that woman left...

but you're using that to hide

from who you are.

That was a long time ago.

I don't want it.

Hmm. Nice butt.

Topper, let me tell you

a little story.

It seems there were

three bears...

and one morning when

their porridge was too hot...

they went for a walk...

and a little blond girl

came skipping

through the woods...

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