Hot Shots! Part Deux Page #2

and she ate their porridge...

she sat in their chairs...

and she slept in their beds.

And when those bears

returned to discover that mess...

do you know what

happened then, Topper?

No.

That little blond girl got scared.

Ran away.

So what you're saying is

that little blond girl is me?

If this is about me

coloring my hair...

Topper, they didn't make you

this fighting machine.

They just cooked up

the porridge

and went for a walk.

And you'll never stop running

until you face

your three bears...

Ramada.

Colonel.

I'm sorry.

It's got to end for me sometime.

If you should

change your mind...

here's my 900 number.

It's $5.00 a minute.

I'll waive the charges.

Your three bears...

Ramada. Ramada. Ramada.

[Accordion Music Playing]

# If our lips should meet #

#Innamorata #

I missed it, Don Corleone.

# Kiss me, kiss me sweet #

#Innamorata #

# Hold me close

and say you're mine #

#With a love

as warm as wine #

# I'm at heaven's door #

#Innamorata #

#Want you more and more #

#Innamorata #

#You're a symphony #

#A very beautiful sonata #

# My innamorata #

# Say that you're my sweetheart #

# My love #

#You're a symphony #

#A very beautiful sonata #

# My innamorata #

# Say that you're my sweetheart #

# My love ##

Hey, what's wrong, kid?

Oh, I love you so much...

but it's such a crazy world.

I just don't want

anything to happen to us.

Don't worry.

In a couple of days

we'll be on the train

to Hawaii...

we'll find a minister

who will marry us...

and we'll never be apart again.

But if something

should keep us apart...

if one of us can't make it

to Blenheim train station...

like for instance

if something came up

unexpectedly...

Not that I think it would

or it already has...

Wherever I'll be...

I want you to know that...

Kiss me.

Kiss me like you've

never kissed me before.

You will denounce the criminal acts

against our people

by your president.

Sign here. Initial here,

here, and here.

Phil.

Sign the document.

I see you're no stranger to pain.

I've been married...

twice.

Oy!

Like the previous six...

this victim was found

folded neatly in half

and placed inside

the glove compartment

of a sanitation truck.

Police are baffled.

This just in.

Presidential Military Advisor

Colonel Denton Walters

has been captured

during an aborted attempt

to free our hostages.

This tape was delivered to us

just moments ago.

They are treating me good here.

The food is tasty and nourishing.

The peace-loving leader

of this great country

has asked me to appeal to you,

President Benson...

to stop your vicious

imperialistic tactics

around the globe.

Ladies and gentlemen...

please rise

and give a warm welcome

to his excellency,

the prime minister of. Japan...

Matsuhiro Soto

and Mrs. Soto.

President of the United States,

Thomas Benson.

Mr. President, this is Prime Minister

Matsuhiro Soto

and Mrs. Soto.

President Benson,

where is your First Lady?

Hell, I don't know.

I've had many women.

Lost my flower

at the age of 15.

I can't keep track.

Let's get this over with.

I'm not feeling well.

My intestines were removed

during action in

the North Atlantic.

Took a torpedo in

the lower abdomen...

and they replaced

every foot of my bowel

with hemp. Clogs easily.

I hope you feel better.

My lips to yours.

The junior senator

from Minnesota, Gray Edwards.

President Benson...

Prime Minister Soto...

ladies and gentlemen...

tonight we put

election politics aside

as I join you in my duties

as majority whip

and chairman of

the foreign affairs committee

in welcoming

the. Japanese prime minister

and his lovely wife

to these United States.

Our two great nations

have begun

what we hope will be a long...

[Vomiting]

I don't remember eating that.

I feel better now.

Thank you.

It's that raw fish odor.

It makes... oh, God!

Look at that.

There's my teeth.

Yeah.

They're filthy.

So I would like

to propose a toast.

Oh, thank you, Yoko.

I'll take that, sir.

To world peace...

to a clean environment...

to harmony with our planet

and world prosperity.

Thank you.

Aah!

Looking for a place to sit,

Lieutenant?

No. I need to speak

to the president.

Can you arrange that?

You'd be amazed what I can do.

It's my fault they got Walters.

I want in.

You showed just in time.

We're leaving in the morning.

I'm taking personal

charge of this mission.

I hope you don't mind

working under a woman.

And now, the president of

the United States, Thomas Benson.

Prime Minister Tojo,

Senator Edwards,

my fellow Americans...

and our millions of illegal aliens.

It seems like only yesterday

I was strafing

so many of your homes...

and here I am today

begging you

not to make such good cars.

Excuse me.

Need a glass of water.

Damn tongue's gone dry on me.

It's not mine, you know.

I lost mine in Laos.

Commie kid lopped it

right off.

Got this one

from a basset hound.

Blouden, get the car.

President Benson.

No, you're not.

Seen him on television.

He's an older man,

about my height.

Sir, this is Topper Harley.

Topper, yes, of course.

The son I never had.

Well, no damn wonder

I didn't recognize you, then.

But a word of advice.

Don't go around

calling yourself the president.

I wouldn't do that...

and I don't think

you should either.

Just doesn't hold water.

Neither do I.

Let's get away

from these power cables.

Sir, I'd like to join

the next mission.

We're keeping this one

on the QT.

We're calling it Secret mission

to go in and get Walters

and our boys back.

Son, when you come back...

I'm going to throw

you wonderful guys a party

the likes of which

you've never seen.

There should be plenty to eat.

I doubt more than

half of you will return.

Thank you.

Got a light, Lieutenant?

I quit smoking.

Besides, I don't think

they allow it in here.

What are they going to do...

arrest me for smoking?

Now I know

what to get you for Christmas.

Make it a Thighmaster.

I've broken my last three.

Really.

Let's go to my apartment

and discuss our mission.

I'm putty in your hands.

In my hands,

nothing turns to putty.

# Tonight's the night

we're gonna make it happen #

# Tonight we'll put all

other things aside #

# Tonight we'll put all

other things aside #

Hmm.

# Give in this time

and show me some affection #

[Scraping Sound]

# We're going for those

pleasures in the night #

[Honk]

#I want to love you #

#Feel you #

# Wrap myself around you #

#I want to squeeze you #

#Please you #

#I just can't get enough #

#And if you

move real slow #

#I'll let it go #

#I'm so excited #

#And I just can't hide it #

Hmm.

#I'm about to lose control #

#And I think I like it #

#I'm so excited #

#And I just can't hide it #

#And I know, I know,

I know, I know #

#I know I want you #

# We shouldn't even

think about tomorrow #

# Good memories will last

a long, long time #

# We'll have a good time, baby,

don't you worry #

#If we're still playing around,

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