Hot Shots!

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FLEMNER AIR FORCE BASE

20 years ago

Look out!

He singed my tail feathers.

All right, Buzz. That's enough of that.

What did I just say?

That is a good way to lose an eye, my friend.

Hold it. We've got company at two o'clock.

I got him, Mailman. Hang on.

Here we go.

- Buzz, what is goin' on up there?

- Just movin' a road hog.

- Knock it off! What kind of stunt was that?

- Just seein' what this baby can do.

This bag of bones isn't rated past Mach two.

- Mach one.

- The G-forces, Buzz! The G-forces!

Mach two. Gotta push the envelope.

Mach three!

Buzz! We're tearing apart!

I'm losin' control.

Eject, Mailman. Hit the silk!

- I can't get out!

- What are you doing?

Buzz! Get back here!

OK. I've been in tougher scrapes than this.

There's the ground. It looks hard. OK, trees.

No! Oh. Mahogany. Ow!

Squirrel's nest. Bird. Ow! Pine.

Ow! Oh, the ground.

I made it.

I made it! There is a God.

Hallelujah!

You're French, aren't you?

Yeah, just like that.

Hey, look! There's one!

Present Day

Topper Harley?

Once, perhaps.

Now I am called Tukachinchilla.

- What does it mean?

- Fluffy Bunny Feet.

It's very nice.

I'm Lieutenant Commander James Block.

I knew your father Buzz.

Until his incident, he was

the greatest pilot who ever lived.

We need to talk.

The Navy wants...

The Navy wants you back, Harley.

They threw me out. Why should I go back?

I came here to get away from the Navy.

Away from flying.

The Navy has a top-secret mission:

Sleepy Weasel.

I'm giving you a second chance,

which your father never had.

You're the best of the best, Topper.

Leave me to speak with the old one.

He is wise in the ways of such things.

The Navy really needs you.

Great helium.

Owatonna.

Owatonna!

What is it, Fluffy?

They want me to fly in a great battle.

What should I do?

We knew this day would come.

Dances With Bikers got this for you.

Cool.

While you're out,

pick up some AA batteries.

Wow!

Ten... hut!

Admiral. Good to see you again, sir.

- It's been too long.

- And so it has. Yes, yes.

- How are ya, sir?

- Hawaii?

- Goddamn it, Bill, I should be in California.

- No, sir, this is California.

- Well, gotta run. Good luck.

- But, sir, this is your command.

Sleepy Weasel has been planned for

ten months. The president hand-picked you.

Damn right he did.

No stoppin' us now, huh, Ted?

- I'll show you your offices and brief you.

- You're a fine soldier, Scott. Lead the way.

Oh, good God. I gotta pee.

I had part of my bladder

blown off at Guadalcanal.

Watch your step.

There's a lot of obstructions here.

- I had a little dreidel!

- I made it out of clay!

- And when it's dry and ready...

- My dreidel I will play!

- Here's the story...

- Of a lovely lady!

- Who was bringing up...

- Three very lovely girls!

- All of them had hair of gold!

- Like their mother!

- The youngest one...

- In curls!

- Here's the story...

- Of a man named Brady!

Gentlemen, he's back.

How ya been?

- Yeah, it's the big guy.

- Good to see ya.

- Scooter! How you doin'?

- Topper. The main man.

- Rabbi! Mazel tov.

- You should live and be well!

Hey, buddy.

Are you OK?

You don't look so hot. You need some help?

I'm OK.

You're Topper Harley, aren't you?

I hear you've got chops we only dream of.

Throwin' you out was a bum rap.

I'm Jim Pfaffenbach.

Everybody calls me Wash Out.

- You're a pilot?

- Oh, yeah. I'm gonna be flyin' with ya.

Good.

Cute.

I like to stay in shape. Thanks.

- Are these all at home?

- Yeah.

The dogs, wife and kids.

You got pictures of your family,

I'd love to see 'em.

- I am my family photo.

- But everybody needs a family to love.

I could never find time for love. It's

too heavy. It's an anchor that drowns a man.

Besides, I got the sky,

the smell of jet exhaust, my bike.

- A loner?

- No. I own it.

I can see I'm gonna have to work on you.

Name's Pete Thompson. But...

everybody calls me Dead Meat.

- Topper Harley.

- Just a pleasure.

Attention on deck!

Good morning, sir!

I don't care

how many missions you've flown!

I don't care how good you think you are!

You're nobody!

And for the next ten days,

nobody takes a crap unless I say so!

- Got it?

- Yes, sir!

I said "Attention".

Now, didn't I make myself clear?

Or don't you take orders?

- When I say "Attention", I mean "Attention"!

- Yes, sir!

Now!

- You eyeballin' me, mister?

- No, sir!

The next time I see that ugly face of yours,

I want it clean-shaven! Suck in that chest!

Pfaffenbach!

- What you lookin' at, boy?

- Nothin', sir!

Oh, I'm some lowlife that's

not good enough for you to talk to?

Well, that attitude is short on collateral!

I'm God as far as you're concerned!

Hey, hey. Lighten up.

Cut the kid some slack.

Who the hell are you talkin' to, son?

Your ego's writin' cheques

your body can't cash.

Now you got five minutes to stow your gear.

Get movin'!

Yeah, I'm sure deep down he means well.

I hope you were paying attention.

- I don't think we've met.

- Kent Gregory.

Excuse me if I don't shake your hand.

Your father killed someone very special

to me:
Dominic "Mailman" Farnham.

- You mean...

- Yes.

Dominic Farnham was my father.

I was his love child.

- It was a hunting accident.

- Accident, my deep-blue eyes.

It was reckless, irresponsible flying,

and you know it.

Are you OK?

This is an incredible coincidence,

but the hunter who mistakenly

killed your father...

was Henry Pfaffenbach, my father.

I feel terrible.

Isn't this Henry Alva Pfaffenbach?

My mother was a Pfaffenbach.

Not... Doreen Pfaffenbach?

- From Minnesota?

- Yeah.

Then we're cousins. We used to

spend our summers in Eagle River.

Eagle River?

I hope you can forgive me for this.

If it helps, I didn't have seconds.

That's all right. It's not your fault.

Anyone could have made that mistake.

But him, he's the type that could

end up killing every man in this outfit.

Wait a minute. Why are you mad at me?

He's the one who ate your father.

Like father, like son.

You've already been tossed out once.

Hold it, hold it.

We can't fight among ourselves.

We're all on the same team here.

I want the two of you to shake hands.

There, now. Isn't that better?

- Yeah.

- Sure.

There. We're friends again.

Here. Have some of my lucky gum.

Look, Dead Meat. We fly together,

we sleep next to each other, but that's all.

Don't get too close.

Let me handle my own affairs.

He's so complex.

Every aerial photo and recon report

indicate a defensive arsenal

in the D, and perhaps -C, categories.

There's also some anti-aircraft squadrons.

They can send up an ack-ack umbrella

high enough to make any attack ineffective.

I don't have a clue

what you're talkin' about, Phil.

I have a shell the size of a fist in my head.

Pork Chop Hill.

The only way I can make this toup stay on

is by magnetising the upper left

quadrant of my skull.

You just go ahead and do what you do.

Do you have any soup?

Of course, sir. I'll have the mess

bring something right up.

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