House Party Page #8

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Did l tell you how good

you looked in that suit?

Don't worry.

Won't take but a minute.

Depending on who's in it.

ls there anything

l can do to stop this?

Richard Pryor said

when he was in prison...

he kept folks laughing to keep

their minds off his booty.

Do you know any jokes?

No, l don't know any jokes.

You better think of something.

What if l can't

think of anything?

The light's out,

the party's over...

the cake's on the griddle,

and you already greased.

All right,

you're first, my man.

Let's go.

All right. Let's go.

Come on.

Excuse me, everybody.

Won't you gather around?

l got something to say.

Who is this clown?

Just a guy who looks

at things differently

The way things are

aren't how they're meant to be

With the big men

here in the bullpen

l don't want my knees

to take a full bend

Step back, ask yourself,

can it wait?

Or do you want to become

an AlDS candidate?

Take your eyes off me,

don't even watch the Kid

Or you'll go out

like Liberace did

ln my own cell

l could've been alone

Why do you all want me?

l'm only skin and bones

l'm feeling faint,

it's kind of hot

My, what big muscles you got

Hoo, lips don't fail me now

Until Play comes to bail me out

What's going on there?

Man, this is too much,

look but don't touch

l'm just trying

to avoid the bum rush

Thought l was in here

with murderers and stranglers

You guys are a bunch

of rump wranglers

And why me?

Look, l'm not the only male

We gonna tie that fade

into a ponytail

Yo, this is a no-go,

l'm gonna call the C.O.

Me a homo?

Nah, man, that's a no-no

But if you back off now,

that might save you time

Off your sentence

for good behavior

l'm speaking from the heart,

from the center

The sign on my ass

says "Do Not Enter"

l'm a rapper, l rock rhymes,

so l'm gonna bust one

l see y'all wanna rock,

like Hudson

Just an example,

l chill 'em and thrill 'em

Where is Play?

l'm gonna kill him

Songbird,

you hit the right note.

You just made bail.

Ha, hey, fellas, fellas

Ha ha, l gotta go,

all right?

Don't feel bad, all right?

Hey, no long faces, ha ha

Think of all the fun we had

l want to thank y'all

for making me feel welcome

lt really, really

did the trick, all right?

Oh, uh, by the way

Suck my dick

l'll kick your f***in' ass!

Punk!

With that motivation,

you could have rapped all night.

l'm glad y'all came

through for me finally.

Would l let a homeboy down?

So, you want

to go out next week?

-OK.

-Good.

-Call me.

-l will.

l don't get a kiss?

A hug? Some form of affection?

Come on, stop playing.

Any lipstick on me? Yes!

l knew it. Smooth operator.

Bye, Sidney.

Don't slob too loud.

You'll wake the neighbors up.

l'll see you later.

This has been your night, boy!

Cannot front. You are the dude.

That must have been

one hell of a walk home.

Give me

a play-by-play description.

What color were the panties?

We got into it,

but then we didn't--

She was on her period?

No, she wasn't on her period.

What's up?

l didn't have any rubbers.

Hold up. She was down.

Play knows these things.

She was down.

And you was down,

and you didn't...

'cause you didn't

have birth control?

Let me explain--

We're talking

about fine Sidney here.

Good hair.

Def body!

That's who

we're talking about.

ls that all you're into?

"Good hair. Def body."

What are you talking about?

l look at the face, too.

That's f***ed.

l'm not about

having babies right now.

That's her problem.

You the man.

She takes care of that

or pays the price.

-How can you say that?

-You're naive.

You're a f***in' dog,

and you, too, Rover.

Yeah, l'm a dog.

You sound like your pops.

A guy your age

shouldn't sound like your pops.

You've got a problem.

Yo, Kid.

Chill for a minute.

lt's still early,

l got the crib...

and you won't believe

what's on the Late Show.

"Krush Groove"

and "Beat Street."

Sh*t, let's go to your house now

and watch it.

l really would like

to see the movie...

but it's really late, man.

Tape it,

and we'll watch it tomorrow.

Peace out.

-Peace, boy.

-Peace.

You know what l love

was "Breakin'."

l wonder when

that sh*t's coming on.

l wouldn't do that just yet...

'cause your ass is mine.

Pop, l can explain.

l'm gonna whup that damn

high-top fade off of you!

l'm sick of your sh*t!

l work too hard and too long

to let you run over me...

like you outta your damn mind.

l walked across

this damn city...

got stopped by

the goddamn law...

lookin' for your monkey ass.

All you kids over there

just slow-dancing...

doing the grind,

and the peepin' and the hidin'.

l know your ass.

You was there, wasn't you?

l run the show here.

l wear the pants and the apron,

and l'll wear your ass out!

l'm gonna whup you

till l'm sleepy.

And l'm wide awoke

'cause l just woke up.

You think because

you're big and yellow...

l'm supposed to be mellow.

Hell, no!

l'll start a fight

in an empty room !

You can call Child Abuse

if you want to!

They better not come in here,

'cause l'll kick their ass, too.

l'm gonna give you

a whuppin' from now on.

l'll whup the cowboy sh*t

out from you.

Gee, Pop.

Now get your ass to bed!

And don't wake up

till l tell you to!

l didn't mean it.

l didn't know they were

the rest of the cookies.

My grandma's 87 years old.

l don't know how many years

she's got left to make cookies.

You didn't have to finish

the rest of them.

l don't know how many years

l've got left in my grandmother.

They were good, though.

Look at that.

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