Houseboat

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What do you know...

He finally made it.

He was pretty far away

when it happened.

- Europe or some place like that.

- That's his story.

We'd better go down and say hello.

- Not me.

- He is our father.

l'll never say hello to him.

Goodbye, maybe.

Mother would have wanted us to.

We don't have no mother.

She's dead.

- Shut up. You give me the creeps.

- My mother is dead!

Let's go down.

We'll leave little Frankenstein here.

- She is, too.

- Shut up.

Be quiet.

l hate everybody. l hate everybody

in the whole wide world.

l bought it from a short fellow in Munich.

Wait, Aunt Carolyn.

Come on, jump.

He is supposed to jump.

Come on, jump.

All right, Tom.

Mother and l must be getting home.

Many arrangements have to be made.

- The children have enough toys.

- l bought this one for me.

Alice didn't bother to have the car insured

before that terrible accident.

She was as haphazard about that

as she was about choosing

her husband.

Don't worry. l will take on

the additional financial burden.

lf you don't mind, l prefer to worry.

As long as you're in my house,

you're going to have some manners.

- Hello, Robert, old man.

- l'm not an old man.

He's getting there.

That's a darling thing.

ls that how it works?

You're from another planet.

Thank you.

l think that's a compliment.

l was just about to do that.

All you had to do was pull the switch...

The children seem to be happy

with our side of the family.

The divorce wasn't final,

but we're both lawyers

and there shouldn't be any difficulty

making the custody permanent.

- Carolyn, where is your husband?

- John is out, Father.

When is he ever in? Both of my daughters

made the wisest choices.

Tom, Mother and l will take Elizabeth

to live with us.

And Carolyn and her husband

will take the boys.

lt will be wonderful for the boys.

l'll move the guesthouse

and put in a swimming-pool.

They have been helping plan it.

- ls that OK with you?

- Sure. lt's a real blast here.

We've got a tennis court, horses,

the river, everything.

l'll be living right down the road.

l can come over any time.

- How about you?

- l don't care where l live.

Well, it happens that l care. l don't want

my kids parcelled out like cabbages.

They don't parcel out cabbages,

they are sold in carload lots.

Since when are you interested

in your children?

How long were you and Alice separated?

Three years? Four?

When did you see your children?

Occasionally on a weekend?

You know my job with the government...

Your job is more important

than your children?

You may sign the custody agreement

in my office in the morning.

Elizabeth, it's getting late.

All your things are in the car.

We'd better go home now.

OK, Gramps.

See you in the morning.

l'll come over lots of times.

lt will be all right.

- Bye bye, sweetie.

- See you tomorrow, Aunt Carolyn.

Goodbye.

No, he is your father.

Why don't you give him a kiss?

- Sure.

- No, wait.

Get your things from that Black Maria

and put them in the jeep.

And you two, get your clothes,

you are coming to Washington with me.

We'll stay with Aunt Carolyn.

She's got horses and everything.

- Can he do that?

- You bet l can.

You won't miss them.

l'll send a carload of cabbages.

Remember, you're still under

my jurisdiction, the three of you.

Get your things together.

l'll wait for you outside. Carolyn, l...

- What should we do?

- What can we do?

He's got the law on his side.

We have to go with him.

- He ain't gonna like it.

- Nope.

Tom... Where are you going

to put the children?

l still have my flat in Washington.

lt's a little small, but...

We don't have to get rid of

the guesthouse,

if you all wanted to stay here.

How are you and John

getting along these days?

lt's one of those modern marriages.

Electric blankets and everything.

Sorry.

That's Robert's harmonica.

You'll get to know it well.

lt's recent.

David is becoming a problem too.

He's been taking things.

- What?

- Elizabeth can't sleep nights.

How will you learn how to be a father

after all these years?

l'll get a booklet

from the Department of Agriculture.

Congratulations, Mother Goose.

l'm very proud of you.

- Good luck, Tom.

- Thank you, Carolyn.

- Home, sweet home.

- Oh, brother:
Sing Sing!

You said you only needed my jeep

for a couple of hours.

A few problems came up.

Robert, Elizabeth and David,

this is Captain Alan Wilson.

- They are going to live with me.

- ln that rabbit hutch upstairs?

Could you and your wife

help me get a maid?

A maid? ln Washington?

The only way you get help here

is to elect them.

You better get them inside,

it's starting to rain.

Hope it clears up. l'll show them

all of Washington tomorrow.

You kids will have quite a holiday.

Holiday? lt will be more

of a kidnapping. Come on.

- What's the matter?

- l'm afraid.

What are you afraid of?

Listen to what's going on out there

and l'm alone in that room.

You're lucky.

Look at us in this barracks.

- But you're together.

- Only in body.

Come on, back to bed.

Lie down.

Come on, darling.

Take it easy.

Remember what l used to tell you?

Thunder is just two bodies of air

coming together

after an electrical disturbance.

- Got it?

- Got it.

- But l'm still worried.

- So am l.

What in the blazes is that?

Ain't that wonderful!

Let's enjoy the day.

That's the Washington Monument.

That's 555 feet high.

lt's dedicated to the memory

of George Washington.

He died December 1 4th, 1 799.

Over there is the memorial

to Thomas Jefferson,

the third President of the United States.

He died on July 4th...

That's one of the most

striking examples of...

Robert, you ought to pay attention.

You're getting a sightseeing tour

of one of the most beautiful

cities in the world.

Do you have to talk about

dead people all the time?

There's nothing in this whole city

but dead people.

l want to go back to Aunt Carolyn.

All right, no more monuments.

Tonight we'll go

to the Watergate Concert by the river.

This afternoon l'll take you

to the National Museum.

- What's in a museum?

- Dead people.

- Come on.

- Where are you going to drag us now?

- How about some ice-cream?

- Good idea.

Don't tell me l had a good idea, at last.

ls my mother in a museum?

- No.

- Good.

- l got that seat.

- No, it's mine!

Cut it out. Come on.

Give me that thing.

Robert Winters.

Your father is looking for you.

Come to the parking area.

Robert Winters.

Come to the parking area immediately.

What a delightful concert.

You are so kind.

Have you met my daughter?

- How do you do?

- Delighted.

You must be having have the time

of your life. All America at your feet.

- At my father's feet.

- lt's the same thing.

- l'd like to talk to you, Signor Zaccardi.

- By all means. Come here.

lt's all settled.

Your father has agreed.

You'll all come to my place

for a cosy supper.

About 40 or 50 of the best people.

Will you excuse me?

l've got a terrible headache.

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