Housesitter

Where are you taking me?

Where am I?

- I don't know. I'm blindfolded too.

- Davis!

- I'm just kidding. We're almost there.

- Almost where?

You are so nuts!

We're here.

What is this?

- Will you marry me?

- What?

Becky, I have loved you

since the 9th grade. Marry me.

You bought this house?

Bought it?

I'm an architect!

I designed it!

I built it!

You built this house...

for me?

For us.

- You are so nuts!

- And you are so sane. It's perfect!

This is like something

out of a fairy tale.

So, will you?

No.

I now dedicate this building

to the great city of Boston.

Bravo.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Frank.

Gentlemen, welcome to the Budapest.

Drink up.

Everybody, more champagne.

Welcome to the Budapest.

Haven't seen you in a long time.

Welcome to the Budapest.

Have a great time.

Ah, Mr. Moseby, welcome

to The Cafe Budapest.

I still think it's a boring building,

no matter how you look at it.

The absolute best thing about this

building, in two words, "billable hours."

- But did you enjoy doing it? Whoa.

- That didn't factor in.

- Whoa! Whoa!

- Okay, okay.

- Where are you from?

- Eh?

Where are you from?

- Are you from Hungary?

- Yes, Hungary.

- He wants to know if you speak English.

- Uh?

- He said,

"Are you ticklish? Do you spank?"

Marty!

Gwen is

to be called Gwen.

Go, go, go. Work, work, work.

Enjoy the party, gentlemen.

Enjoy the party.

- She liked you.

- What are you talking about?

She could have liked you.

You just gotta make it happen, Davis.

- Hi, Davis.

- Hi, Mr. Calvin.

Becky is over.

That was months ago.

- You've gotta find a way to transcend.

- Yeah, but how?

- Get laid.

- Marty, you're my most disgusting friend.

How about Denise?

What about Patricia?

- I know she had the hots for you.

- What are the hots?

Moseby, eleven o'clock.

Hi, Mr. Moseby. Congratulations

on another beautiful job.

- Thank you, Marty.

Everyone has a right to feel proud.

Absolutely.

I don't know if it's the champagne

talking or not, but I wanna say,

your leadership has been an inspiration

to all of us on the project.

- I hope I've not embarrassed you.

- Not at all.

- Mr. Moseby, congratulations.

Very good job.

Charlie, thank you.

- I don't know if you know Davis

from the firm?

Davis.

Mr. Moseby.

Uh, the building...

Wow!

It's there.

Yes?

Uh, you know that Boston Bank building

you designed years ago?

I've stood on the sidewalk

for hours absorbing that structure.

- It still surprises me.

- Thank you, Davis.

Don't you think we should be going

for that kind of originality...

instead of these same designs

over and over,

this cookie-cutter

architecture?

Don't you feel we're just

going through the motions?

We are the largest

architectural firm in New England.

Evidently some people

like what we do.

Are you insane?

Why didn't you kick him in the balls

and tell him he has ugly children?

I thought he'd appreciate

a fresh point of view.

Why would you think that?

He's the boss!

If I could find the right doctor,

I'd have my lips sewn to his ass.

We're different.

- Yes. Come Monday,

I will still have a job.

Hi, Mr. Simpson.

Is Gwen, yes? I remember

beautiful Gwen from Hungary...

who speaks no English.

That is a drawing of

an engagement ring,

which I designed

and even built.

But, as engagement rings go,

it turned out to be a little, you know,

"big" for the lady.

What do you say, Gwen?

"Gwhen" do you get off...

and "gwhere" can we "gwo"?

- Oh God.

- Good night, kiddo.

- Good night.

- I'll take care of opening tomorrow.

Oh, you will?

I can sleep.

- Oh, I love you.

- No sweat.

Cao.

- Hey, guys!

- Hey, Gwen.

Come on, chop-chop.

Let's get home.

Taxi!

Good night, little Howie.

Hey,

you tricked me.

Why were you pretending

to be Hungarian?

- Ambience.

- Ambience, yeah. But you still tricked me.

- I didn't trick you. I deceived you.

- What's the difference?

- Intention.

- Intention?

- Are you a law student or something?

- Hey!

I guessed it? You're a law student?

Where do you go to school?

Don't you mean

"gwhere" do I go to school?

I, I admit, I was

a little condescending.

Yeah, when you thought

I was just a waitress.

- I'm sorry. I apologize.

- I'm not a law student.

Why'd you tell me

you were a law student?

I didn't. You told me I was a law student.

I just told you I wasn't a law student.

Listen!

Listen, can...

can we go somewhere?

- Get coffee or something?

- No, I really have to get home.

Share my cab.

I could give you a lift.

Thank you very much,

but it's real close.

I'll walk you.

I could use some air.

Okay.

There's all these cities

I want to live in before I die,

and Boston happened to be one.

There's New York, which is

where I came up here from.

Before that there was Seattle, San

Francisco, Santa Fe, New Orleans,

- Akron.

- Akron?

Yeah, well...

It was a detour, you know.

But I lived there

so I count it.

Before that, there was

Toledo, where I grew up.

- Gosh, I've never lived anywhere.

- How can you never live anywhere?

Well, just here

and Dobb's Mill.

That's where I grew up.

It's about 50 miles from here.

It's one of those

white-picket-fence sort of towns,

with your basic church steeple,

town square,

and big firemen's

pancake breakfasts.

All the kids

grew up together.

And everybody knows you,

you know what I mean?

- Sure. So is that where she's from?

- Who?

The babe who thought the house

was too big for her finger.

Oh, Becky.

No, no, that's over.

I bet you still have

her picture in your wallet.

- Get outta there. Get outta my...

- C'mon, let me see.

Hey, you knocked me

into the water there.

- Who cares about wallet photos?

- You could go to jail for this.

No, that's her

in the 6th grade.

I got a more up-to-date.

Let's see, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th...

Let me just jump ahead.

That's Becky, but it's over, believe me.

Did you see that picture?

Was she a cute baby?

Is that funny?

Anyway...

Here's her driver's license.

She was gonna throw this away.

I said, "Are you crazy?

That's a cute picture."

Anyway, I don't even

go up there anymore.

I probably should take the

ribbon off the house, right?

You mean you still own it

and nobody's living in it?

Yeah, it's a waste, huh?

It's just so nice up there,

especially this time of the year

with the leaves changing.

And it's got this wraparound porch

that looks onto a pond.

And in the living room, it's got these

switchback stairs that go up to a loft.

Sorry, I still get

a little excited about it.

I mean,

I don't use it, but...

- But what?

- I just can't bring myself to sell it.

It's like I'm stuck where I am,

like I can't change it.

- Did you ever feel like that?

- No.

- No?

- No, I...

I change myself

all the time.

If things aren't workin' out,

I change what I do, change where I live,

I change myself.

- You're Hungarian one minute

and a law student the next.

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