How I Live Now

Imagine yourself

being successful.

Five exercises

to make your butt smaller.

77 best-loved cooking recipes.

Big, fat, ugly butt.

The possession of willpower

and self-discipline

can be the factor leading

to success.

Useless b*tch. 88 lbs.

You're disgusting,

do you know that?

Focus on your goal.

Sensitivity or allergy

can reduce...

God, I hate poor people...

in the body.

What is your problem?!

Hair is your crowning glory.

If you've got it...

F*** you!

Then style it in a way

that flatters your face

and choose a great color

if you don't like your own.

If you want to, try some

teeth-whitening solutions.

Teen-dating abuse and violence

is happening everywhere.

Take risks. Fat b*tch.

Step out of your comfort zone.

Successful people

think big and act big.

Why men pull away.

Remember that success

does not guarantee happiness.

Accept life is unfair.

Are my hips normal?

Accept life is unfair.

Fact. Eggs can live...

Don't give up.

If you don't give up,

you can't fail.

You can't fail. You can't fail.

You can't fail.

d Do you want

to go back home?

d Your animals are all alone d

d And there's a chicken waiting

on the stove d

d And your cousin left his D VD

of "Swinging in the '70s" d

d And do you wanna

go back home?

d Check your messages

and charge your phone

d Oh, are you

really sure you wanna go?

d When you can do

it with a rock star? d

d Do it with a rock star? d

d Wait, wait, wait d

d I'll be fine in a minute d

d Oh, oh, oh

d Wait, wait, wait d

d I'll be fine in a minute d

d Fine in a minute d

d I don't want your body

d Just a part to listen

to INX S d

d All the practice

in the world d

d Won't get me good

at Ioneliness-less d

d Loneliness-less d

d Loneliness-less-

less-less-less d

d Do you wanna dance?

d Do you wanna fight?

d Do you wanna get drunk

and stay the night? d

d Do you want

to see all my cavities? d

d Talk about the crisis

in the Middle East? d

d Do you wanna

get really terrified? d

d Icecaps are all melting,

and we're gonna die d

d Do you wanna cry? d

d I can make you cry

d Do you wanna hit me,

baby, one more time? d

d Do you wanna? Do you wanna?

d Do you? Do you?

Do you? Do you?

Hi.

d Do you? Do you?

Do you? Do it!

What?

H i.

Oh, right. Hi.

Which one are you?

- Isaac.

- No one calls me Elizabeth.

Except my dad,

and he's an a**hole.

So if you don't mind,

my name's Daisy.

Daisy, great.

- Where's your mom?

- Working. Um, she sent me.

Do you want me to take that?

Why?

Well, I don't know.

It... It might be heavy.

Yeah, it is heavy.

Okay.

Well, um, we should...

we should probably go

to the car.

Yeah, sure.

Let's go to the car.

High security.

Please remain vigilant.

Report any suspicious behavior

immediately

to security personnel.

Where are you taking me?

Oh, they charge 15 quid

for half an hour's parking.

Sod that.

Jesus.

It's just down here.

Ow!

Here, I'll put it in the car.

What age are you?

- 14.

- 14?

You've got a license?

No, but I've been driving

since I was six.

You expect me to get in this

thing? With you?

Well, you could get a bus

if you'd rather.

Fine yeah, I would.

It does take

about eight hours though.

And the next one's

not due until 11:00...

Tomorrow morning.

Welcome, by the way...

U h-huh.

To England.

Sh*t!

Careful!

Jesus C hrist.

Sorry. I'm better

when there's no cars around.

So are you gonna stay with us

for the whole summer?

What, I just got here.

You want to get

rid of me already?

No, no, no, not at all.

We've been really looking

forward to meeting you.

Piper especially.

She's the only girl

most of the time,

and you're our only cousin.

So you're gonna be like

a guest of honor.

Road!

Yeah well,

just so you know

I'm not one of those

stupid yanks who's gonna

kiss your ass the whole time

because you're British, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

Have we bonded now?

Can we just shut up and drive?

Yeah. Um, well,

You're the boss.

- What is this?

- d I forbid... d

d You maidens all d

d That wear gold

in your hair d

d To travel to Carterhaugh

d For young Tam Lin

is there d

d None that go by Carterhaugh

d But they leave him

a pledge d

d Either their

mantles of green d

d Or else

their maidenhead d

"Oh, had I known,

Tam Lin,'" she said

d '"What this night

I did see d

d I'd have looked him

in the eyes..." d

d '" And turned him

to a tree." d

Here we are. Welcome home.

- She's here, mom! She's here!

- Get your dog away from me.

Push 'em away, Daisy.

They'll be fine.

- Jet! Get down!

- Go... get off of me!

- Jet, get off!

- Get off, Jet!

- Jet, get off!

- Enough!

Get off, Jet! Get down!

Ugh, move!

Come here.

Jet, back!

Are you okay?

Allergy to wheat can produce

a variety of symptoms.

How to be...

f***ing loser, f***ing loser.

Sorry about the dogs.

They just... they just

get overexcited.

Hey, wait a second.

- Who is that?

- Edmond.

- Edmond?

- He's the oldest.

And this is Piper.

She's our baby.

I'm not a baby!

Elizabeth, would you

like to see my unicorn?

- Um, probably not.

- Piper, leave her alone.

- Elizabeth, you're American.

- It's Daisy.

No one calls me Elizabeth.

And if you don't mind,

what I'd really like

to see is my room.

I need to wash my hands,

like, right now.

I've got some kind

of canine S.T.D.

I'll take that.

Oh hey.

This is Joe.

H i.

He's our next-door neighbor.

Well, sort of.

But he lives with us

as much as he can.

That was his dog, Gin.

No, come back.

- Bless you.

- Hey, do you want a drink?

No.

And you can wash your hands

in the sink if you want.

- Mom! She's here!

- Piper, leave her.

- It's not time.

- Is your mom out or...?

No, she's in her study.

We don't usually see her

before 9:
00.

She's an expert

in loony extremists.

- She's going to save the world.

- Piper, shut up.

- Take cousin Daisy to her room.

- Come on, cousin Daisy.

I need to give you

the grand tour of the house.

This is my unicorn

I was telling you about.

Shh, that's mommy's office.

Now we will come

up the stairs.

That's the junk room

that Joe sleeps in sometimes

when his dad's being a wanker.

I know what a wanker is,

by the way.

And in here is your room.

You've so got the best

bed in the house.

U h-huh.

Well, I think my dad's

probably trying to get

through to me, so...

I'd kind of like

to yell at him in private.

So can you leave?

Now, please?

All right.

Can I get you a cup of tea?

No thanks.

Glamorous, confident girl.

I hope you get killed.

Dumb baby, dumb baby.

Stop slouching.

Avoid self-pity.

Itching, rashes, watery eyes,

watery eyes, watery eyes...

What do you

wanna do today, man?

Don't really mind.

- I wanna go fishing.

- Mmm.

- Go and get some fish, man.

- Hey.

Cousin Daisy at last!

We thought you'd never get up.

Morning.

Sit wherever you like.

We've made enough for about

a thousand people.

Mom has an emergency meeting

in London.

She said she's sorry,

and she'll see you this evening.

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