How To Deal Page #6

My mom found out.

Actually, I haven't really made up

my mind yet, so if everybody could just...

Honey.

Give me a hug.

Sweetie, you never know

what's gonna happen. Okay?

For a while there,

I thought I'd never get married.

Finally, I had to put my foot down

or my guy here

would never have left...

I'll get that.

Hello?

Honey, it's their mother

calling from Virginia.

It seems

your grandmother had a bad fall.

Your mother wants you

to meet her there.

Do you think

she's okay in there?

It has been a while.

Grandma, are you all right?

Yes, I'm just smoking

a little marijuana.

Look at that pattern.

Is it just me, or is that the

spittin' image of Abraham Lincoln?

Look, Halley, look.

There's the mole.

Halley, you must see it!

You're the one who sees

things no one else can see.

I do?

- Yes.

Mother, you're not

supposed to be walking yet.

Next time you fall like that,

you're going to break your hip, then die.

You remember when we

went to see our comet together?

Halley was too young

to remember that.

No, I do remember.

You can't possibly.

You remember hearing about it.

No, mom, I do remember.

Why does no one trust me

to know what I know anymore?

God.

God!

She doesn't even think

that my own memories belong to me.

Darling, she's your mother.

Now, tell me

about this fella of yours.

Who told you about that?

Grandma, it's really over.

First loves are never really over.

Nobody's perfect, Sweetheart.

But that doesn't mean

it wasn't worth your while.

Boy!

Do I have the munchies!

What about him?

- He's not terrible looking.

Yeah, he's even cute in that

geeky way that you like guys, Ashley.

Halley, it's...

It's Lewis.

Ashley, love of my life...

life of my heart...

once again... will you marry me?

Yes.

Yes. How crazy.

I can't believe it.

Do it.

I owe you one.

For?

Macon's a really great guy.

See ya, Halley.

Hey.

- Hi.

I had no idea

that you guys were like...

hanging out.

Elizabeth Gunderson and me?

No, we're just...

Friends?

- Yeah.

Right.

No, it's fine because

we had our thing,

and it was fun...

until it wasn't anymore, right?

No, that's not it.

When the going gets tough, it's best

to just keep going, don't you think?

Would you listen to me for a sec?

And to my bride.

Thank you for showing me

that socks don't need to be ironed...

that one needn't employ

the Dewey decimal system

for their CD collection...

and that, in the end, it doesn't

make a whole lot of difference

whether you start

the toilet paper facing up or down.

Despite what

my parents taught me.

Because, Ashley, you have

shown me that life is worth embracing.

Even if it means

making a giant fool of yourself.

And lucky for me,

you're willing to marry the guy

who's been the biggest fool of all.

So here's to a lifetime

of big, messy,

wonderfully out-of-order moments

with the most

beautiful woman in the world...

my bride.

Your big sister

is getting married in 31/2 hours.

You know if you

get nervous, you can always...

You remember the sign.

Of course. You taught

it to me, remember?

So, you know. Just...

Like that.

I'll do something.

I'll yell, 'fire, ' okay?

Okay.

- Okay.

And we're back

with the big dog of soft rock,

WDYG, 94 FM.

'We dig the dog. '

This is Daddy Dog

himself, Len Martin,

coming to you today

on a very special day,

'cause one of my

very own puppies... the eldest...

Ashley, is getting married.

Lorna, Honey,

any words of wisdom

coming from you,

my very own newlywed?

Waterproof mascara.

I'm gonna borrow yours, 'cause

Daddy's gonna be weeping like a baby.

All right, let's kick off

this Power Hour Of Love.

Are you there?

- Security?

Hey, give me... come on.

This is my job!

My Halley?

I don't know how to get you

to listen, but maybe...

Let him talk.

- Just hear me out.

I suck with words.

But sometimes,

words aren't the thing.

Love isn't about words,

it's about what you do.

And what I did...

running away, it was stupid.

We both know love's

a big, scary, evil concept.

But if you feel it, it's gonna

follow you around like a hungry dog

no matter how far you run.

Wait. I didn't mean

to say love's a dog.

I just mean,

I'm not going anywhere.

I love you, Halley.

If love beats us up,

let's beat it up right back.

We could do this.

If you're ready to make the jump,

I'll be right here to catch you.

And what a powerful

Power Hour Of Love it has been.

This is Len Martin for WDYG,

the Big Dog of soft rock.

That's right.

Romance is in the air.

It's everywhere

here today, folks.

This next song is going out

to that young lady in question...

Miss Halley Martin

and her big sister Ashley,

'cause Daddy loves you.

You look beautiful.

You look beautiful, Mom.

I'm not too old to wear pink?

No.

I look like

a giant helium balloon.

Come on. We have to go.

I'm gonna walk over.

I'll meet you there.

Let's get Halley!

Back seat.

I need to lie down.

Please be seated.

We have come together today

to join in Holy Matrimony

Ashley Renee Martin

and Lewis Gibson Warsher II.

If any among you know any reason

why this couple

may not lawfully be married,

declare it now

or forever hold your peace.

Do you, Lewis, promise to love,

honor, and cherish Ashley

from this day forward,

for richer or for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

forsaking all others

as long as you both shall live?

I do.

And do you, Ashley, promise

to love, honor, and cherish Lewis

for richer or for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

forsaking all others

as long as you both shall live?

I do.

The rings?

Dear friends, let us ask God

to bless these rings

as a symbol

of their love everlasting.

No. No, the other finger.

That's right.

Ashley, Lewis...

- She's having the baby.

It is now my delight...

- Please be quiet.

And honor to declare you

husband and wife.

You may now kiss the bride.

She's having the baby. Now.

Right now?

Scarlett's having the baby.

I have to go.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Scarlett's having the baby.

Breathe.

Wait, wait, wait! No.

Sh*t!

For heaven's sake.

It's okay.

You're gonna have the baby!

Thank you so much. Thanks.

You have got to do something.

That was just a dreadful scene.

Now the seating arrangement's

gonna be a disaster.

One empty seat

throws everything off.

Mother, stop it. Okay?

It doesn't get

any better than this.

Squeeze my hand.

It's okay. We're gonna get there.

I assume Daddy would like

to be in the delivery room?

Me? No, no. L...

Baby!

- Mommy!

Hi, Sweetie.

- I need you.

I'm her mother.

Miss Smith?

- It's okay. Thank you.

Don't leave me.

So, do you hate me?

Not you, per se.

I hate the way

your hair falls in your face.

And I hate the way your voice

gets really low when you're serious.

And I hate the way you bite

your bottom lip when you're nervous.

And the way

your eyebrow goes... like that.

I hate that.

So, that's it?

You just hate the way

I walk and talk and look?

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