How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

What you get is what you see

And you can bet

it's worth it, baby

'Cause what you get is me

Don't be afraid

to let it embrace you

I'm gonna show you

every little thing about love

- Yeah, yeah

- Do you really want it?

If you want it,

you can get it

If you get it, don't regret it

So what you gonna do?

Love is like a butterfly,

tapestry across the sky

Doesn't need a reason why I feel

it taking you and I

Higher and higher

So what you gonna do?

If you only knew

what I just dealt with.

I mean, this guy was right in

front of me, going little...

That guy deserves a ticket.

I'm sure he's...

A- A-A woman never

reveals her age.

I've been in this

relationship for...

He was going ten miles an hour

on the highway.

I'm trying to...

If you want it, you can get it

Higher and higher

"And only then

will the people of Tajikistan

know true and lasting peace. "

Andie, it's brilliant.

It's really moving.

But it's never going to appear

in Composure Magazine.

God, I busted my butt

in grad school

to be Andie Anderson,

"How to" girl,

and write articles like,

"How to Use the Best

Pick-Up Lines"

and "Do Blondes, Do They, Like,

Really Have

More Fun?"

I want to write about

things that matter,

like politics and

the environment,

and foreign affairs...

things I'm interested in.

Keep busting your butt.

You're going to get there.

Hey, I've got something

to cheer you up.

You know that editor

from Sports Illustrated

that you have been

shamelessly flirting with

on the phone for... whoo,

a month now?

He made a little delivery

this morning.

Ah, ha, ha, let me see.

Oh, no.

Hey!

Tomorrow night.

What happens tomorrow night?

Only the most exhilarating

and artistic display

of athletic competition

known to mankind.

The Ice Capades are in town?

No, the NBA Finals

are in town,

and I got tickets!

Come with me?

All right, I'll go.

But I am not putting out.

Two stale jumbo dogs

and a couple of beers,

you'll be whistling

a different tune.

You know what I like.

Good morning, ladies.

Don't forget,

staff meeting in 30 minutes.

Michelle... haven't seen

her all morning.

- Have you?

- Ten to one she's wallowing.

It's my turn. I'll get her,

you get the coffee,

meet me in the corner in 20.

Wait, wait, wait.

Here, take some samples.

Samples. Samples.

Great idea.

Oh, boy.

Drama, drama, drama.

I walked 47 miles of barb wire

I got a cobra snake

for a necktie

A brand-new house

on the road side

And it's made out

of rattlesnake hide

Come on, take a little walk

with me, baby

And tell me who do you love

Hey!

Who do you love?

Now around the town

I use a rattlesnake whip

Take it easy, baby,

don't you give me no lip

Who do you love?

Who do you love?

Hello, Ben.

Hey, hey, good morning, Spears.

What are you reading, girl?

You catching up on

your current events?

"Turn-On Tricks:

How to Make Him Hot. "

You know, if you want

to try those out sometime,

we should get together.

Green and I have

an appointment at Composure,

the fastest growing women's

magazine in the country.

And seeing as how

our clients run a lot

of our campaigns

in their nationally-syndicated

little girlie magazine,

it wouldn't hurt you

to do a little reading.

Hey, Benny.

Good morning, Green.

You finally decided to show up?

Yes, I did.

You ready?

Ready.

Later, Ben.

Have a nice day, ladies.

Hi.

Oh!

Good morning, sunshine.

Okay, get dressed.

Get dressed.

Staff meeting, 15 minutes.

Let's go.

I'm going back to bed.

I have no reason to live.

Sun's out. Oh...

Okay, just...

Okay, now...

Cashmere?

Put it on.

It'll make your eyes

look fiercely green.

Oh!

Get up. I'm not going

to let you lose your job

on top of everything else.

- Oh.

- Come here.

Oh, Andie.

Okay.

Okay.

You only dated the guy a week.

It was the best week of my life.

Sweetheart.

Good morning, ladies.

- What's up, Tito?

- Hey.

Warren Advertising.

Hi, yes, we're waiting for you.

Good morning.

What's up, kitty cat?

What's up, daddy?

Big night?

- Not bad.

- Orgy?

Where were you, man?

Not at an orgy.

Did you hear?

What, that my Knickerbockers

are now in

the championship series

and Tone "The Bone" here

owes me $20?

Pay him.

Oh, man.

Well, you were right.

DeLauer Diamonds is looking

for a new ad agency.

Warren wants to move

on it aggressively.

Yes!

Oh, oh, this is a good day,

this is a good day.

Guys, did you know

that diamonds are about

as common as taxis

on Fifth Avenue?

The value is entirely

sentimental,

maintained by a supply,

demand and advertising.

Stripes.

Now, DeLauer dominates

the world diamond market.

Meaning if I represent them,

I basically represent

the entire industry.

Tell him.

What?

Warren gave it to the Judys.

Spears and Green...

they're already on it.

No way!

Yeah, well, you know,

he's kind of partial

to hot, leggy chicks

for some reason.

Yeah, and we're the, you know,

the sneakers and beer division.

Precious gems aren't exactly

our forte.

Lips and Hips are over at

a chick's magazine right now.

I got to get to Warren

before they sink...

You can't, you can't.

He's on a plane.

Easy, pal.

The Chicago meeting.

And it's too late anyway,

because Warren's

meeting them for drinks

at Mullins' tonight

to discuss their ideas.

You know what?

This isn't happening.

You know why?

This was my tip.

It's going to be my pitch,

my account, my campaign.

- This is my baby.

- That's what I'm talking about.

They will not ace me

out of this.

- That's right.

- I heard that.

Okay.

Mullins', tonight.

"I heard that"?

Oh.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I- I don't really want

to talk about it, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

Okay.

Why does this always happen

to me?

Things were going great

for, like, a week and a half,

and then, all of a sudden,

it's over,

and I am mystified.

Seriously, I am mystified,

because it always starts out

so well.

Poor baby.

Let's just roll with this one.

Oh, Mike and I had

such a connection.

The first time that we had sex,

...it was so beautiful...

I cried.

You cried?

Yeah.

You mean, like,

one glistening tear

on your cheek, right?

No. I was really emotional.

I even told him

that I loved him.

After how many days?

Five.

Two.

It was how I felt.

I wanted to express myself.

Okay, well, what did he say?

Oh, Mike didn't have

to say anything.

I know that he felt the same.

But then he started

getting really busy,

and I didn't know where he was.

So I kept calling him

and calling him.

He was never home...

You kept calling him?

I didn't leave a message.

He didn't know it was me.

My number's blocked.

Oh, I-I'm sure he thought

it was one of his friends.

You know, men frequently call

their friends'

answering machines

and hang up 20 times.

Anyway...

I know why he dumped me:

I'm too fat.

- You're not fat!

- You're not fat!

Oh, Michelle, if the most

beautiful woman in the world

acted the way you did,

any normal guy

would still go running

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