How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Page #10

Fabulous!

Excuse me.

Two champagnes, please, sir.

Pardon me, young man.

Would you be kind enough

to order me a whiskey sour?

Yes, ma'am, I can.

Mrs. DeLauer?

Yes.

I'm Ben Barry

with Warren Advertising.

How do you do?

The pleasure's mine.

It's nice to finally meet you.

I'm very happy to meet you, too,

that's for sure.

Can I get a whiskey sour,

please?

I can promise you

that our presentation

will not weary you

in the wrong way, Mrs. DeLauer.

I cannot wait to see

what you present, Benjamin.

Ladies, do you

see what I see?

Oh, Phillip, that's ridiculous.

She couldn't possibly.

Don't be so sure.

She might possibly.

I think I'll go find out.

E- Excuse me.

You're Andie, yes?

Yes.

I'm Phillip Warren.

Oh, you're Ben's boss.

That's right.

Hi, pleasure to meet you.

Pleasure to meet you.

Well, I understand you've been

an inspiration to Ben

in more ways than one,

and I must say,

you look rather inspired

yourself.

There isn't a diamond

in the room that sparkles

like a woman in love.

Oh, no.

I'm not in love.

No?

I guess I was mistaken.

No, no, no. I mean...

I mean, I've only known him

for ten days. I...

You can't...

I can't... I can't be...

Ben is a very lucky man.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Mr. Warren,

please don't tell him.

Please don't tell him.

Hey.

Ben, Ben.

Hey, hello, gentlemen.

She loves you;

she loves you not.

What-what is it?

I don't know.

We'll see.

Ben.

Mr. Warren.

Saw her, met her.

She loves you. You win.

Get ready to pitch.

Congratulations, point man.

I'm very proud.

So, you're the new

point man on the DeLauers.

She loves me.

Good for you...

and... good for whoever she is.

Ah, well...

thank you so much.

Oh, you're so very welcome.

Gloating, are we?

Yeah, pretty much.

Warren told us, so...

Yeah, you don't mess

with my man Ben.

Mm.

Your man Ben

is a cheater.

Mm-hmm. The girl

has known about the bet

from the beginning.

She was playing along

so Ben would win.

Tell him to enjoy his

short-lived, ill-gotten victory.

We're going to talk to Warren.

No.

- Let's...

- Come on...

Hey.

Remember us?

- Hi.

- Hi.

You know, uh, Warren

is going to come over here

in a minute,

and it would...

it would be so great if you

could just, you know, like,

act like you don't know

anything about the bet.

I mean, if-if you could tell him

that you-you really,

truly love Ben, you know,

and you weren't just,

you know, pretending,

so he would... he would win,

that would be... huge.

So what's the average

Composure reader like?

Spunky, insatiable.

Uppity? You bet.

If you'll excuse me, Lana,

there is a beautiful

young woman

in a yellow dress

that I must go to.

Andie?

Yeah, she's my "How to" girl.

How to?

Yes. Right now, she's doing

an article called,

"How to... Lose a Guy

in Ten Days. "

Just look him

straight in the eye...

Yeah, and just,

and just, you love Ben,

and you never heard

anything about any bet.

Yeah. Love.

No bet. Okay?

I understand.

Awesome.

Yeah, that's good.

Thank you.

You look beautiful.

This poor schmuck

she's been pretending to date...

well, not even

pretending to date...

she's actually dating the guy.

She's doing the most

atrocious things to him.

She's... she's actually

named his...

She's named his...

You're Krull.

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I ask you all kindly

to be seated?

Now that we're all

suitably frosted...

Benjamin, where have you been?

We haven't much time to play.

Ah! And the ladies

do look lovely...

please help me give

a warm welcome

to our special guests

of the evening,

Mr. And Mrs.

Frederick DeLauer.

And now, I want to introduce

a true musical legend

who will perform

some of his Oscar, Grammy,

Tony, and Emmy

award-winning songs,

Mr. Marvin Hamlisch.

Thank you very much.

I really do apprec...

Wow, yes! Give another hand

for... Marvin Hamlisch

is in the house!

Ow!

A lot of you out here

don't know Benjamin Barry.

Well...

shame on you.

'Cause he is a very talented

advertising executive,

a knowledgeable sports fan

and a wagering enthusiast

but most impressively,

he is one hell of a singer,

and he has prepared

a little musical snack

for his new special friend,

Mrs. DeLauer.

Oh. Oh, isn't that wonderful?

So, Ben, why

don't you come up here

and sing your song?

Oh.

Come on, Ben.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Benjamin Barry.

Come on, Ben.

Thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you.

Andie, Andie.

Whoa, whoa, don't run off.

Don't run off!

Ladies and gentlemen

you do not want

this young lady

to leave the room.

Thayer. Tony.

Would you stop her, please?

You see, tonight, the

really special event

is that we will be singing,

her and I, a duet.

Yes, Miss Andie Anderson.

Could you please give

a warm round

of applause! Thank you!

Andie. Andie Anderson.

Knock 'em out.

Let's see what

our song tonight will be.

Maybe one of her

personal favorites.

Marvin, do you know,

"You're So Vain"?

That's not one of my songs.

Can you work with me, Marvin?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You walked into the party

Like you were

walking onto a yacht

You had your-your hat pulled

down real strategically

Over one eye, you had a scarf

I think it was apricot

Strategically tipped

below one eye

Yeah, yeah, yeah

One eye in the mirror

As you made sure

you had a real cool...

- Gavotte.

- Gavotte. Yeah.

And all the girls think

that they'd be your partner

They'd be his partner

'cause he's so vain

You probably think

this song is about you

Ben Barry, you're so vain

So, so vain

You probably think

this song is about you

Don't you? Don't you?

Tone deaf and drunk is not

a good combination.

No, you-you fooled

me to win a bet...

Oh, I fooled you?

And you should feel ashamed.

Look, you took me

to a goddamn

Celine Dion concert.

You made me miss the big game.

Oh, smart guy's a rhymer.

Well...

Do we want everybody to know

your lovemaking is lame?

Oh, maybe because

you named my penis.

Yeah, you named my penis.

You named my penis after a dame!

No, I really think

you have to get over that.

Come on, you're so vain.

- No, you're so vain.

- You are so vain.

This is the worst thing

I've ever heard.

And you know that this song

is about you, don't ya?

- No, no.

- Because you're...

You're so vain.

...so vain.

- You're so... vain.

You do know the words

so well, don't you?

There she goes,

ladies and gentlemen.

There she goes.

Thank you very much.

Thanks, guys.

Take it from here, Marvin.

Wasn't she wearing

the Isadora diamond?

Isadora?

Oh, mon dieu.

Scurit!

No, no, no, no, no.

Hold on, Andie Anderson.

I'm not done with you.

You used me...

Oh, I used you?

...to get ahead in your work.

You arrogant...

- Hold it!

... backstabbing jerk!

- Lady, hold it!

- Come on, Andie.

All right,

you drove me half insane

for a goddamn magazine article.

Oh, yeah, and you told people

you could make any girl fall

in love with you, and I...

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