How to Marry a Millionaire Page #2

Well, to put it simply,

the idea is this.

If you had your choice

of everybody in the world,

which would you rather marry,

a rich guy or a poor one?

I think I'd rather marry a rich one.

All right. Where would you

be most likely to meet a rich one,

in a walk-up on Amsterdam Avenue

or in a joint like this?

Well...

I should say in a joint like this.

Okay, then, that's it.

We're all working steady,

so we throw everything

we make into the kitty,

and get a little organization

into this marriage caper.

Class address, class background,

class characters.

To be specific about it,

nothing under six figures a year.

I've never heard anything

so intelligent in my life.

If you want to catch a mouse,

you set a mousetrap.

So, all right,

we set a bear trap.

All we've got to do is one of us

has got to knock off a bear.

- You mean marry him?

- f you don't marry him,

you haven't caught him,

he's caught you.

All my life, ever since I was a little

girl, I've had the same dream,

to marry a zillionaire.

Do you know who I'd like to marry?

- Who?

- Rockefeller.

- Which one?

- don't care.

I wouldn't mind marrying

a Vanderbilt.

Or a Mr. Cadillac.

No such person. I checked.

Is there a Mr. Texaco?

No. But how about one

of those rich maharajas?

How about three of them?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had three

of them for dinner and they married us?

Think of all those

diamonds and rubies.

And all those crazy elephants.

This is really living it up, isn't it?

People that live any other way

are just crazy.

I wonder who's going to pay for it.

- Yeah, how about that?

- Well, I'll tell you.

I knew it couldn't last.

Relax, will you? And somebody

break open that other bottle.

Good afternoon. I'm Mr. Bennett

of the Bennett Music Company.

- Are you the lady...

- That's right. Come right in.

Thank you.

The reason I called you is,

what will you give me

for this piano, cash?

Well,

it's a very handsome instrument.

Really, Pola, I think she's the most

intelligent person I guess I ever met.

Well, it's not in first-class condition,

you understand,

but, uh, we might be interested

in paying you, say 2,500?

We'll take it.

Well, kids,

where will we eat tonight,

the Stork or 21?

Hello?

Is this Trafalgar 7-5098?

- Yes?

- Who's this, Miss Page?

- Yes, who is this?

- This is Tom Brookman.

- Oh.

- You remember me.

- Oh, sure, but...

- Well, I kept thinking about you,

but I didn't realize who you were till I

picked up an old magazine this morning.

- What do you mean?

- You were Miss Steinbach Beer last year.

Why, yes, I believe I was.

And isn't that you jumping around in

a girdle in all those ads in magazines?

I wouldn't exactly call it "jumping around."

I'm supposed to be dancing.

Reason I called, I was wondering if you

wouldn't have dinner with me some night.

Whatever night you say.

What about tonight?

- 'm afraid I can't tonight.

- Tomorrow night?

- 'm sorry.

- What about Thursday night?

Mr. Brookman, you're wasting your time

on this number. Don't call it again.

Hey, kid!

- Pola?

- Yes?

Do you think we'll ever be able

to get this job off the ground?

- What do you mean?

- Here we are nearly three months,

and we can't even get ourselves

engaged, much less married.

- could have got engaged last week.

- To?

- That English fellow.

- What English fellow?

You know, that tall one that

borrowed five dollars from me.

That's what I mean. Here we are

set up strictly for the carriage train,

and what do we get, you hook a schnook

who takes you for a fin,

I get an invitation

to Hamburger Heaven for dinner,

and Loco shows up every evening with

a gentleman she's met in the drugstore,

with five more shower caps

and three quarts of aspirin tablets.

And where do you think

that's gonna get us?

I don't think it's us.

I think it's the men these days.

They're getting more and more nervous,

especially the loaded ones.

Meanwhile, where are

we gonna sit next week?

Well, we're both trying, you know.

It isn't always easy

to find out right away

how much they're worth

or if they're married or not.

They look at you like you're

prying into their private affairs.

Something's got to break soon,

or we're gonna be out on the sidewalk.

And all we need, you know,

is just one.

That's the beautiful thing

about a bear trap.

You don't have to catch

a whole herd of them,

all you need is

one nice, big, fat one.

Probably Miss Perth Amboy again

with another load of dollar-day Kleenex.

Thanks.

- Oh, hello, Schatze.

- Hello.

This is... I'm sorry.

What did you say your name was?

- Hanley. J.D. Hanley.

- Of course.

This is Schatze Page,

and this is Pola Debevoise.

- How do you do?

- How do you do, ladies?

I met Mr. Hanley

in the mink department at Bergdorf's.

- Really?

- Yes, the clerk was nice enough to...

You'll have to excuse

the state of this apartment.

We've just sent everything out

to be cleaned.

But if you don't mind

coming into the dining room.

Oh, of course not.

And with the maid off today,

we're roughing it, you might say.

- Won't you sit down?

- Oh, thank you very much, but I can't stay.

I just came along to help

Miss Dempsey with her bundle.

Mr. Hanley's from Dallas, Texas.

Oh, really?

In the oil business?

Oh, a little oil, but mostly stock.

- Stocks and bonds?

- No, none of that sort of thing for me.

My stock is

white-faced Hereford, polled.

- Come again?

- Cattle.

- You know, like cows.

- Oh, I see.

Are you sure you won't sit down

for just a little while?

Oh, I haven't time right now. But what

I was talking to Miss Dempsey about,

there's a little organization that

I'm a member of, the Oil Institute.

Kind of elder statesmen

of the business.

We're having a little informal

reception tonight.

If you young ladies would

honor us with your presence,

I'm sure you'd make us

all very happy, indeed.

Do you mean

nothing but oil men?

Well, not exactly.

Probably a few bankers too.

Well, bankers will be all right.

- Don't you think?

- Naturally.

I realize this is a little sudden

and unconventional,

but there will be dancing and

a few drinks and a few laughs perhaps.

- Sounds just creamy to me.

- like laughs.

- Well, then it's a deal?

- 'd love it.

That's wonderful. I'll pick you up

around 8:
30, if that's all right.

Will we meet some of

the other gentlemen too?

Oh, all of them. And don't worry,

they're not all old crooks like me.

- What on earth!

- Stop it!

You look just in the prime to me.

Thank you, ladies. You've already

made my trip to New York worthwhile.

Bye now.

I think this is it, kids.

A great big room full of nothing

but rich millionaires

and us.

This brings us down to 1947.

I think it's a very good idea.

Where should we go?

Well, there's a new place...

Good evening, madame.

Good evening, sir.

- Table for two.

- Certainly, sir.

This way, madame.

- Champagne?

- We might as well.

Oh, a table for two, Philip.

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