How to Marry a Millionaire Page #5

- You bet your life, sir.

- Yeah, well,

I'm in a little jam with the income

tax department, and I need your help.

Anything you want, sir.

I've had a little trouble

with those people myself

from time to time.

- Who's got my apartment now?

- Three young ladies, sir.

- Business women, I believe.

- Yeah, well,

I gotta get in there for a few minutes.

Think you can arrange it?

You can get in there now, sir.

They're both out for the evening.

One of them's with a Texas fellow,

and the other's with the one-eyed man

- How about the other one?

- Oh, she's away at an Elks convention.

- You want me to wait here?

- Yeah, if you can.

If I get a buzz, I'll come back.

That's not them.

They never get in till 2:00 or 3:00.

- 'll be right back.

- Okay if I turn on the lights?

Sure.

Pola must have left the lights on.

- What will you have to drink?

- Milk, if you don't mind.

Milk?

Well, if we've got any.

Go to the kitchen, will you?

I'll be there in a minute.

Is that the best we've got?

Apparently, but it's all I want.

Schatze, you've made my visit

a very pleasant one.

I'd like to do something

to show my appreciation.

Oh, don't be silly, J.D.

Tell me something. Is this furniture

really out to be cleaned,

or is there

some other explanation?

You don't have to

worry about that.

Did you sell it or hock it?

Well, we sold it.

Will they sell it back?

And now, dear Schatze,

I'm afraid

we must say good-bye.

Good-bye? But I thought

you were staying until next week.

I was, but something has happened

that I would never have dreamed of.

And I think the wisest thing I can do

is to get out of here at once.

What do you mean?

Do you remember the first time I came

into this apartment with Loco?

Yes.

I came in here a subtle and aging widower,

with a pattern of my life all laid out

for the rest of my days.

- Really?

- That isn't the way I went out of here.

You didn't?

Tell me, do you believe

in love at first sight?

Oh, absolutely, J.D.

No question in the world about it.

Well, I don't.

Not at my age, anyway.

Stop talking about your age. You'd

think you were as old as Methuselah.

Don't you know you're right

in the very prime of life?

How old are you?

Forty.

Oh, Schatze, Schatze.

That's probably the sweetest lie

you've ever told.

Twenty-five would be

a little more like it, wouldn't it?

But look here, J.D. You don't want

to go jumping to conclusions, do you?

Look, it's no use, darling.

I'm 56 years old.

Thirty years older than you.

By your standards, anyway,

an old man.

- Oh, no.

- We might support this difference

for another

four to five years perhaps,

but what happens

when I'm truly old?

But listen, J.D.

I hate young men.

- Thank you very much.

- That's all right.

- Have you got to go already?

- 'm afraid so.

- Well, nighty-night.

- Good night.

I've always liked older men.

Look at Roosevelt.

Look at Churchill.

Look at that old fellow

what's-his-name in African Queen.

Absolutely crazy about him.

- So, you see, J.D...

- Pardon me.

- Hello. Come in.

- Hope I'm not intruding.

You're entitled to such

a hope, I believe.

Don't let her kid you, Pola.

I've got to be going, anyway.

- So early?

- Yes, I'm flying home tomorrow morning.

- Oh, no.

- 've got to.

Good-bye, my dear. It's been

a great pleasure knowing all you girls.

Good-bye, J.D.

Come back, will you?

I will. Someday, perhaps.

Good-bye.

What time

does your plane leave?

Don't you believe

anything I say at all?

I believe that nothing could have been

more wonderful for me than marrying you.

And nothing worse for you.

- Will you call me before you go?

- That's too early for you.

Very well.

Good night, darling.

What's the matter?

I oughta punch you

right smack in the nose.

- What did I do?

- Nothing.

Nothing but break up a play

at the two-yard line, that's all.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Schatze.

Really I am.

Little Miss Bubblehead

is terribly, terribly sorry, indeed.

I was just so anxious

to tell you the news.

- What news?

- We're going to be married.

- You and who?

- Me and Stewart.

You mean Blinky?

Yes. And if he doesn't have to

fly to London this weekend,

he's going to take me down

to meet his mother this Saturday.

- Down where?

- Atlantic City.

Oh. What did you say

this guy did?

Oil, darling.

Simply barrels of it.

- Says he, huh?

- But of course.

You ought to hear him

talk about it, really.

I think we oughta put

a check on that one.

Why? don't know

what you mean.

Nobody's mother lives

in Atlantic City on Saturday.

- Hello?

- Miss Page?

That's right, it's still no.

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Now who on earth

ever thought of this?

- Thought of what?

- Skiing on snow.

What else would you ski on?

Why, the natural way,

like in Florida, on water.

Ski on water? Why you.

Oh, no!

Mrs. Salem!

Here she is now.

How are you feeling?

Never mind how I feel.

Where have you been?

- Sitting on the mountain.

- Who with?

Nobody.

- What's that?

- 'm going to give you a manicure.

- What was his name?

- Eben.

You gotta be careful. You don't want to

get mixed up with a fellow like that.

- Don't I?

- Never.

Who do you think I oughta

get mixed up with?

Well, I won't always

have measles, you know.

Say, you are getting better.

You just wait till

we get back to New York.

- don't dig you sometimes.

- What do you mean?

- s your wife a spook?

- Of course not.

She's a very wonderful woman

and a true credit to her sex.

- Oh, brother!

- mean it.

- Then, Why'd you flip like this?

- Pardon?

What set you off that night?

Oh! Well, for one thing,

you're a very beautiful young woman.

- know.

And for another,

I was a little upset that evening.

My daughter had just

run away and got married.

Well, for goodness sakes,

what's wrong with that?

What was wrong with that

was the fella's no good. He's a gigolo.

Oh, really? Maybe I know him.

What's his name?

- His name's Martinez.

- read about that.

He's a dancer.

"Hoofer Weds Heiress."

Well, she isn't one any more.

- What do you mean?

- disinherited her.

Disinherited her?

Well, there's one thing

I'll say for poor people,

they don't go around

disinheriting their children.

Obviously. They've got nothing

to disinherit them with.

Say that again.

Poor families don't have any money to

pass on from one generation to another.

It doesn't make

any difference.

My mother, no matter how much money

she didn't have, she wouldn't disinherit me.

Do you mind if we just

don't talk for a while?

Not at all.

I like not to talk.

This is what

I wanted you to see.

It's nice.

It's all mine from the crest

of that second ridge to the north there,

all the way around

as far as the eye can see to the west

and back around that way

to just beyond old Baldy.

- All yours?

- Yep.

You mean all those trees

and mountains and everything?

That's it.

Well, for crying out loud.

Isn't it beautiful?

Isn't that what they call "timber"?

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