How to Steal a Wife Page #6

---

Where's Ramutis?

He's having lunch with his daughter.

Is this hard for you?

No, I can grate it myself.

That's not what I mean, Laimute.

I'm talking about the situation.

About me, about Ramutis, about

Vilija and their daughter.

I understand how hard it is for you,

but you're a strong woman, Laimute,

I've always wanted to tell you that.

I understand how much you

suffered when you lost me.

And how much you're suffering now.

This is just torture.

Sit down, please. Sit down.

Sit down for a minute.

Laimute, if you can stop grating, then do.

You know, Ramutis and I, now we're...

A couple?

Come on, Laimute, this isn't

the time for joking around...

You know, I was thinking...

put that knife down.

I was thinking about how to help Ramutis,

because Ramutis is afraid of hurting you.

He thinks that you might not

be able to handle all this,

that you're going to suffer, that you won't

be able to deal with it, but I know you will,

so that's why I'm begging you.

Join me and help Ramutis.

Tell him that... well... Kick Ramutis out.

Just say... hey, Ramutis, get out of here.

I know that'll be hard for you.

But don't listen to what Ramutis

says, even if he argues,

just tell him - Ramutis, get out of here.

Go.

And just kick him out.

That'll make it easier for me and

you, and most of all... for Ramutis.

Laimute, do you want to talk about this?

If you want to talk, I'm listening.

Tell me, what's going through your head?

Idiot, you idiot...

What are you pretending to be here? Huh?

Hand me the onions.

Onions, OK?

You want them cubed, as usual?

Yeah.

Oh man, I was really afraid

of the first time we'd meet.

I spent 3 years thinking what he'd be like.

You know, I was like... who

are you, what are you like,

what are we going to talk about, will

we be able to find common ground...

but when I opened the door and saw you,

and when you offered me my slippers,

I knew immediately that I'm going

to have a really good friend.

Well, to tell you the truth, we also

had a real scare when they let you go.

After all, you know, 3 years in prison, you

just don't know what a person can do...

And Laimute says to me...

run, run and don't look back,

because you can't tell what he

might do, and really, you know,

at one point I thought I

better just take off.

But then when I opened the

door and saw you, and...

and I really felt this sense

of warmth and friendliness...

and I realized that we could be buddies.

That was the greatest part, that you

didn't look at me like a thief.

Like a prisoner.

You just looked at me like a person and you took

me into my family like it was your own family.

You really did that...

I don't know how you do it, maybe it's just

dignity, or the noble mind of a principal.

But thank you for that, really.

Well, to tell you the truth, I can say that I

don't care if you stole that money or not,

if you have that money or not, I really

do see you as a person, a friend,

and believe me, you know, when I became the

principal, all kinds of people befriended me,

and it's really hard to tell who's a real friend

and who's not, but that's not what you're after...

and you know, when you're in power,

it's really hard to distinguish...

You know, if your enemies,

or your non-friends,

ever try to tell that you that you're

a bad person, don't believe them.

No, I won't, I won't.

I really envy your daughter, that she's

going to have a father like you.

Just like I envy all of the

kids who are in your class.

Yeah...

I can just see how they're going to grow up to be

really honest, good, fair and respectable people.

I can even hear them saying

"Thank you so much, Ramuti".

And I want to get in on those thanks

with this, well, modest little gift.

When I was in prison, I

carved this fish/accordion.

The fish symbolizes luck,

and the accordion...well,

is just an accordion.

This is for you.

Thank you.

But I have a present for you too.

Hold on then.

This is a trophy that I won in 2009 at

the Phys. Ed. Teachers' Convention.

A respectable third place

for physical education.

Now this trophy is yours. Take care of it,

don't lose it, and... you deserve it...

Well thank you.

And don't be mad that I looked

you over that time, OK?

Wait, what did you say?

What?

What did you say?

Well that I took a peek at you that time.

But you said you didn't.

No, it was before that I

said I didn't look you over.

You swore that you didn't look me over.

No, well you know, I thought maybe

Laimute might hear, well you know,

I didn't really want to say

anything in front of Laimute...

So you lied?

Come on, I didn't lie, I just didn't

want the situation to be like this...

What are you fudging about here?

I'm not fudging...

What, you want to say that mine is small?

Ramutis, I didn't say anything

about yours being small...

Thin?

No, not thin, Ramutis, not small, not thin.

What's wrong?

Do you understand that this isn't

fair, because I didn't see yours?

Why are you screwing around with me here?

I'm not screwing around.

I haven't seen yours,

so fine, let's measure.

OK, let's.

- Let's measure.

- OK, let's measure.

- What, we're gonna measure here?

- Are you scared?

- No, let's measure, we'll measure over here.

- You're scared.

Get the ruler.

I'll need a measuring tape, not a ruler.

Then get the measuring tape.

Do you have one?

OK, and what are you doing with

your hands in your pockets there?

- Stimulating yourself?

- I'm not stimulating.

- Then take your hands out of your pockets.

- Fine, then you take them out too.

Fine.

- 3. On the count of 3.

- OK.

- 1, 2, 3. Let's go to the bathroom.

- Let's go.

Take the measuring tape.

Take the measuring tape.

I got it, I got it.

Take it.

Hands!

Turn on some music.

Let's go!

Hands, hands, hands.

You didn't run away?

No, I didn't run away.

You're going to ruin your mood.

Oh, I'll ruin it...

It's gonna be a sad day when you see mine.

Get on with it.

Don't run away.

I won't. Don't stab yourself.

But even at the store that stomach of

yours was grumbling the whole time,

what's wrong with you, haven't you eaten,

or is there something else? Oh, look...

You know what I hate most

at the store, when you...

Look. Isn't that nice?

Yeah. Well nice, good job.

I'm telling you, when

they want to, they can.

Look, even the carpet is vacuumed.

When you go to the store and

the shop assistant asks you

if you're looking for something

in particular, at a shoe store.

What could I be looking for there?

How nice...

I'll send a picture... I don't have...

now how am I supposed to

go now, all undressed...

OK fine, I'll get it, but you

better not do anything, we...

Ramutis?

Taraila?

"Mr. PE, money doesn't buy happiness"

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes