Howard the Duck Page #6

Hands ff my feathers! Put me dwn!

Put me dwn right nw!

Put him dwn!

Hward may be a duck

but yu peple are animals!

He's my byfriend!

hat's disgusting.

Yu dn't make me

prud to be a human!

Let me just pay the check

and I'm ut f here.

- Freeze!

- I can't believe that yu're just sitting here.

Lk what they're ding

to Hward!

- Oh, geez!

- Chicken fry!

Where's the SPCA

when yu need them?

- I am nt amused!

- I'm gnna barbecue yur bill, bird.

Oh Great Duck in Heaven,

this is the end f Hward.

here's gnna be mre ilence!

I hate ilence!

Yu gtta gin there

and beat them up.

Jenning! Jenning, dn't just sit there!

his is serius!

- hey're gnna ck me!

- ake that!

- Stuff him!

- Any last wrds?

Yeah, Jenning!

- He's my favrite duck.

- Yu hardly knw him.

Jenning! hey're seasning me!

Wait, yu better let me up.

- Yu dn't wanna get my friend angry!

- Oh yeah? Why?

Because he's ne f the

Dark Overlrds f the unierse.

And he can destry yu

and the Earth, everything.

Yeah, well, I didn't buy it

at first either.

Lk, they're laughing at yu

and they'e gt Mr. Cde Key.

Oh my Gd!

- One, tw...

- Wait a minute! Jenning!

Lk! I warned yu!

Here he cmes!

- He must hae ate the chili.

- Release the small water fwl!

- Bring me the cde key, Hward.

- Right! he cde key!

Yu heard him!

Cut me lse!

Sunds like a brunch

f bull-puckie to me!

Oh my Gd!

- Are yu kay, Hward?

- Yes.

- Enugh f this crap!

- Yu, ut f here!

If yu can't take the heat,

get ut f that kitchen!

- Where's the cde key?

- It's clsing time!

- he cde key!

- It's nt nice to fI with the Dark Overlrd.

- hey get the pint, Jenning!

- Get ut f the way!

- Nw's ur chance.

- Yeah, cme n. his way.

Cut it ut, Hward.

- Ging smewhere?

- Yeah, withut yu!

- Mve the table ut f the way!

- I can't, it's stuck!

What's wrng?

Hward,

get dwn frm there!

- Like I'm ding this n purpse?

- Give me the cde key!

Yeah? What if I dn't?

Can't yu take a jke?

Geez, yu brke my head.

I will nw bring dwn

the ther Dark Oerlrds.

Hey, what abut me?

Yu filthy scum bucket!

Run!

N! Beverly!

Beverly?

Lk ut!

Yu killed him!

Yu killed him!

Beverly, I'll find yu!

- I need yur bdy.

- Creep, I've heard that ne befre!

he Dark Oerlrds

cannt exist n this planet...

...unless they grw inside a human bdy.

- Gd, n!

I hurt!

Need energy.

Watch ut!

Mre energy!

hat's the grossest!

I'm gnna puke!

Oh Gd!

here was this big guy

and this girl and this little kid.

At least I thught

it was a little kid.

hen I flashed n reality, right! Bam!

Hallween's nt till next mnth.

I knw my rights.

Where's my baseball cap?

- Shut up!

- Bastards!

Nhandle...

Philsey!

Philsey! It's me.

Hward.

Hward, I gt arrested at the plant.

I'm gnna have a criminal recrd.

Jenning kidnapped Beverly.

He's taking her back

to that science lab.

- What? Why?

- He's sme kind f mnster.

He's gnna bring dwn mre f his buddies.

He's gt big plans.

Like taking ver Earth.

Philsey, we gtta get ut f here.

Hward, this dr

desn't have any handles...

Get a rock r smething

and break this windw.

- Rck?

- Windw.

Let me try the dr first.

- Hw we getting ut f here?

- Cme n.

Philsey, where we gin'?

Hey, ver here.

- It'll be dawn sn.

- Hey, let's steal a cp car.

Dn't yu think that wuld be

a little cnspicuus?

- Hitchhike? Cab?

- What is that?

Geez!

It lks like an airplane.

Well, it will be.

We can put it together in ntime.

Smebdy's weekend hbby's

gnna get us back to that lab.

Hey, we'e gt a saying

n my planet.

If Gd intended us to fly,

he wuldn't have taken away ur wings.

hat's really prfund, Hward.

Culd yu find the tol box?

Yeah, I knw why yu want a tol box.

Yu gt a screw lse.

Pwer.

Oh n...

hey just sptted

the duck and the kid.

- Where?

- Behind the warehuse next dr.

- hey're abut to take ff.

- What dyu mean, "take ff"?

- It's nt ding anything.

- Cps!

- Cme n, push frward n the throttle!

- Okay, yeah.

Full throttle!

Full throttle!

- Cps, Philsey!

- 180, Hward.

Right.

One away!

G! G!

Cme n! Hurry!

Cme n!

- here's cps everywhere!

- Nt in the air, Hward! Up, up!

Lk ut!

Prepare fr a take-ff.

N, n!

FIlw them!

Bring them dwn and bring them back!

I want that duck!

Dead r alive!

- It's suth-suthwest, Hward!

- What?

hat way. Stay lw!

Beverly, I'm cming to get yu,

sweetheart!

Help me! Help! Smebdy help me!

Please, help me!

Please watch yur step.

I think yu're all gnna find this

ery interesting.

Yu knw, hnestly,

cngressman...

...this three-mile-island-China-syndrme-

meltdwn-stuff, that's all history.

he nly melt dwns arund here are

the cheese sandwiches in the toaster ven.

Wha... These Washington guys

take a real beating n these junkets.

Our nuclear reactor is pumping ut

ne millin kilwatts f pwer.

One millin kilwatts...

...pwer!

- Yes, sir.

Listen, I think we culd all

use a cup f cffee.

Help! Smebdy help me, please!

Help!

Let's g! Cme n!

G, g!

Run! Run! Run!

I feel much better.

- Nw lk at that!

- Right pedal! Right pedal!

- Damn it, that was toclse!

- I'm just learning here!

Hward, in pre-historic times

yu flew.

Fly, Hward! Find yur instincts.

rust yur birdness. Fly!

Hward, pull up!

Pull up!

- Touch dwn!

- Great landing, Hward...

...but this isn't

gnna get us to the lab.

Yu said to fIlw my instincts.

his is my nesting instinct.

Oh n!

- I'm flying blind here.

- Shut up! Yu're nt flying at all!

- Let her rip!

- Bmbs away!

Pull it up, Hward,

were running utta land!

- Wet stuff ahead!

- Watch ut!

Death from the sky

to all duck hunters!

ra, tora, tora!

Vengeance is mine!

Yeah!

Hward!

Banzai!

Slw dwn.

Slw dwn here.

Hey!

Hey yu, pull ver here!

his is a smg device

inspectin.

- And I need... Shut ff the engine!

- It is ff! Smebdy's pushing!

Shut it dwn! Shut it dwn!

What the hell is wrng with yu?

- I wanna see yur license, Jack!

- I have nlicense, I am nt Jack.

Smg inspectin!

What happened?

We gtta get utta here!

- Damage reprt, Philsey!

- Fuel hse is busted!

Rtor is wasted.

Basically, we're dying here, Hward.

- I'm bailing ut!

- N, yu're nt!

Yu're gnna get up there

and fix this lawn mwer nw!

- Philsey, hw's it ging?

- I'm getting clse.

- I'm n top f it!

- Gd.

Relax, Hward,

I almst gt it!

Philsey, I did a lp-the-lp.

I'm getting gd at this! I'm...

Hward!

Up, Hward!

Up!

Geez, I thught I lst yu.

Philsey, this is ntime

fr water sprts.

I'm just kidding,

big guy.

Please, scum,

let me g!

- Philsey, get back up here!

- I'm trying!

N, n, dn't sht!

I'm an inncent hstage!

- he duck's a lunatic!

- What?

He's a duck terrorist!

He hijacked the plane!

Hward, pull it up!

- Welcme back, Philsey!

- hanks, it's great to be back, Hward!

Will yu watch

the rad, damn it?

Hey, anther car.

Nbig deal!

- Yes, big deal! Big...

- What?

Big, big, big...

- Nwings.

- Welcme to the club.

Cming thrugh!

hat was a lt f fun.

I'd like to get ff nw.

Slw dwn.

Slw dwn!

Relax, I'll just throttle

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes