Howl

---

1

Excuse me, sir, is this

the right train to New Haven?

Yeah. Next train

on this platform, sir.

Thanks.

All right.

Malcolm, Malcolm.

Evening, guv.

Uh, right, 11:
30, New Haven.

Done and done.

Thank you very much.

Bad news?

No.

Right. Congratulations.

Ken called in sick.

Looks like you're

on the Eastborough red-eye.

Tonight?

Mmhmm.

Hang on,

I've just done my shift.

They must all be law-abiding

citizens on your trains.

You haven't issued

a penalty fare in six weeks.

Or are you

just not man enough?

I'll do it.

Good boy.

Platform nine.

You alright, love?

Fine.

Good evening,

ladies and gentlemen.

This is your guard speaking.

I would like

to welcome you aboard

the 23:
59 Alpha Trax

service to Eastborough,

calling at Moseley Junction,

Woolscot, Edgcombe,

Abington Cross, Wychford,

Christchurch, Barrock's Hill,

Old Milton, and arriving

at Eastborough at 1:48.

I'd like to remind you

at this time

to have your tickets

ready for inspection.

Thank you.

Tickets, please.

Ta. Lovely.

Thank you, madam.

Tickets and passes, please.

Tickets, please.

Good, thank you, sir.

Excuse me, madam, tickets.

I'll get that for you.

Obviously not a fan of trains.

Nasty man.

Tickets, please.

Thank you, madam.

Ticket, please.

What? Oh, Christ. Um...

Hang on.

No rush, you're alright.

That's weird.

I had it this morning.

Today has just been a complete nightmare.

Let's see...

If you don't have a valid pass

I have to charge the full fare.

What? Seriously?

I take this train every single day.

Those are the rules.

Where is it

you're traveling to?

Eastborough.

Eastborough...

That's gonna be 39 then, please.

Thank you.

Ta.

Apologies. Just wait

for your change.

Sorry.

That's lovely, thank you.

Tickets, please!

Can I see your tickets, please?

Thank you, sir.

Why don't you get a proper job?

It was so great.

The guys, they were so hot.

I'll go tomorrow.

About 12ish, is that alright?

We'll go home, get changed,

and I can wear shorts.

It was brilliant.

I wish you were there.

Tickets and passes, please.

I ran so hard I wet myself.

Yeah... It's really boring.

But the party was amazing.

You'd have loved it.

It was what you

thought it was gonna be.

Can I see your ticket, please?

It was a great night.

You should've been there.

I know! Well, yeah.

It was so brilliant.

Tickets, please?

Yeah, that'll be really cool.

I like that. Yeah. Anyway...

Can you get off your phone?

You're in a quiet zone.

Yeah. That'll be really cool.

Anyway, he's such a boring...

Miss?

I know, right?

Thank you.

Oh, my God, this guy

is totally staring at my tits.

Such a perv.

What can I say? It's not my fault.

It was so funny.

Thank you. Ta.

Tickets, please.

Thank you, sir.

Can I see

your ticket, please?

Thank you.

Tickets, please. Thank you.

Any coffee?

See your tickets, please.

For you, sir?

Chicken?

Thanks.

Hiya.

Alright?

1 .85, please.

Didn't realize

you were on tonight.

Yeah, double shift.

Trying to save as much

as I can this month.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Dave's done the same to me.

You still trying to go?

I haven't decided yet.

I don't wanna be serving chicken

sandwiches the rest of my life.

No.

Yes?

Coffee, white,

two sugars, please.

And why would you?

Sorry about your promotion.

David told me.

Oh. I think he told everyone.

That doesn't surprise me.

Ah, it's not the end

of the world.

Something else better

will come up, I'm sure.

Well, you should try again.

You know, you're good

with the passengers.

People like you.

Ellen...

Do you want to go

for a drink later on?

Um... Um...

Well, I don't think

anywhere will be open.

Yeah, no, probably not.

Um, I'm on again

in the morning, so...

Yeah.

I better get on,

but good luck next time.

Oh, it was just

a spur-of-the-moment thing.

Don't worry about it.

I meant with

the supervisor application.

Right.

Need a piss.

Well done.

That went well, mate.

This is the driver.

Sorry for the bump.

Seems we hit

something on the line.

Please remain seated.

We should be on our way shortly.

Thank you.

You alright?

Yeah, I'm fine.

That was quite a ride, mate.

Sorry about that, sir.

Yeah.

You alright, Ellen?

Look at this mess.

Don't worry about the mess.

We'll sort that out.

No, I'll do that.

No, no, no. I'll do that.

Allow me.

Thanks! Any time.

Are these yours?

Cheers, yeah.

Mine, too. Thank you.

Maybe you should

check on the others?

Right, yeah. OK.

You're both sound, fine?

Yeah, I think we

got it covered.

Is everybody alright down here?

Madam, you alright?

Yes, yes, but what happened?

Have we crashed?

Did we come off the tracks?

We're trying to get

to the bottom of it.

You should have seat belts

if you wanna stop like that.

I hear you.

Sir, let me help you with these.

Ged, please!

Did we come off the track?

Let me take these.

I'll do it!

We're alright.

It's her you wanna worry about.

Ged! Just

take a seat for me.

Calm down.

Miss, you alright?

I've gotta call my mum.

I could have died.

Are you OK, though?

If this is broken, I will sue.

I understand your concern,

but you need to calm down.

Don't touch me, pervert!

Are you alright?

What do you think?

You alright, mate? Yeah.

We going soon, or what?

Yeah, yeah. I'm just waiting

to hear from the driver.

Just take it easy for a minute.

You alright down there, sir?

I dropped my book.

Dropped your book...

Right, hang on.

Sir, here's your book.

Here you go, sir.

Oh, thanks. I've lost my page now.

I'd just got to a good bit.

I think you'll be alright, mate.

Just stay there and keep calm.

Driver, this is the guard.

Hello?

Ladies and gentlemen,

apologies once again for the delay.

I'm still waiting on word

from the driver.

Thanks for your patience.

Dear, oh, dear.

Come on, sausage. Come here.

It's Sunday as we rock.

Dancing round the room.

Hear a stranger

as she knocks.

Put a letter in a box.

It's Sunday as we rock.

Dancing round the room

Oh, found my page!

This is a no smoking train, miss.

Piss off.

You want me to get out and push?

I don't believe this.

What's happening?

I tried knocking.

He's not answering

the intercom either.

Tony?

Maybe you should keep

an eye on the passengers.

Well, they wanna know

what's going on.

Perhaps give them some food

or something, keep them sweet.

Not much left.

Better than nothing.

No sign?

Hello. Hello. Um...

We seem to have broken down

just outside Eastborough.

I think...

I think it must be

Thornton Forest.

And we can't seem

to locate our driver.

Just looking for some advice

on how to proceed, over.

Tell me about it. We've

got chaos out there tonight.

We've got trees down...

signal failures...

ETA for replacement...

Sorry, go again on the ETA?

Four hours?

The storm has brought down

a lot of trees.

You want me to stay on this skanky train?

F*** right off.

What does the driver say?

Does he think he can fix it?

The driver...

He's working on it.

Right, so he might be able

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