Hud

- Thanks for the lift.

- Where will you look?

I don't know, but if I find a pink Cadillac,

he'll be around somewhere.

So long.

- Who's that?

- It's Lon.

I'm making chilli,

but if you want breakfast I'll come out.

No, thanks. You seen my uncle Hud?

I chicken-fried him a steak last night

about seven. Haven't seen him since.

All right.

Daisy, I'm taking two doughnuts.

OK, honey,

just leave a dime on the counter.

All right.

It's 26 after 6 on a Thursday, it's

on the Bobby Don Brewer Show.

Must have had quite a brawl in here.

I had Hud in here last night is what I had.

Sure looks it.

Mr Larker.

- Hey there, Mr Larker!

- Hey there, Lon!

- You gonna rodeo this year?

- I ain't looking to get stepped on.

- Why're you in town this early?

- Trying to run down Hud.

Didn't I see his big Cadillac

parked down the street?

Pretty sure I did.

I wouldn't disturb him if I was you.

I ain't dying to,

but I've been told to get him.

Hud?

Hud!

Honcho, I just hope for your sake

that this house is on fire.

I'm sorry,

but we got trouble at the ranch.

You got trouble right here.

I was getting nicely tucked in,

you come tiptoeing through the tulips.

Granddad wants you

and he said right now.

He said right now?

Do you think it would be all right with

my daddy if I buttoned up my shirt?

Oh, come on, will you?

You got me out of the wrong side of bed

this morning. Don't snap at my heels.

I'm liable to turn around and bite you.

Thank you, honey.

Hey, hi, Joe.

Which one of you two's coming out

of my house at six in the morning?

I asked you a question.

Which one, damn it?

I hate to have to tell you as it's my own

nephew, but it's this snot-nosed kid.

I'll kill that little punk.

Wait a minute!

You got diabetes.

I'll handle this for you.

I can do it myself. Out of my way.

Now, Joe, you can't afford

to get worked up, buddy boy.

I'll lower his temperature some,

I promise you.

All right, hot shot. We're going to finish

this discussion behind the woodshed.

Thanks a whole lot!

Relax, you can charge a stud fee

by the time that story gets around.

If I'm still alive.

I could've gotten hurt back there.

So could I. Ain't it lucky you were handy?

- You should take me along as a regular.

- Pace would kill you, sonny.

What's so important my daddy

has to drag me back on my day off?

- He wants to ask your advice.

- Ask me?

He hasn't asked me

about anything in 15 years.

I just work out there

from the shoulders down myself.

Can you make it all day,

after last night?

I ain't 100 years old like him.

I don't need a week's sleep to be fresh.

He can't help being an old man.

You sure drive this thing.

That'll be Hud.

Parked right in my flower bed.

- Good morning, Hud.

- Morning.

I'm sorry to cut into your time off.

Lonnie, close that screen door.

The house is still standing,

you're drinking coffee as usual,

why push the panic button?

We come up with a dead heifer

in the night.

You dragged me back here

for a dead cow?

I'm worried about this one. She wasn't

cut or crippled-looking. No swelling.

- Any Johnson grass around?

- No.

This may be something

I ought to know about.

Jos and Jesse are

keeping off the buzzards.

Stay out of those berries,

they're for the pie.

Let's not stand around.

I got things to do.

Watch that cigarette ash,

it's going in the pot.

I'll go bring the pick-up around.

How come you always

run over my zinnias?

I've been trying

to get them to come up.

- Don't plant 'em where I park.

- You're cheerful.

Missy, your job is to keep house,

not worry about my disposition.

Frying pan's still on. Want eggs?

Or did you have breakfast in bed?

Nope, we hadn't quite

gotten around to breakfast.

- Morning, boys.

- Mr Bannon.

Pretty hard to keep them birds away.

Had to use a flashlight all night.

Look at them buzzards. They'll be back.

You couldn't scare 'em off with artillery.

I wish you wouldn't do that.

They keep the country clean.

Besides, there's a law

against killing buzzards.

I always say the law was meant to be

interpreted in a lenient manner.

I try to do that. Sometimes I lean

to one side of it, sometimes the other.

I don't like to break the law.

Well, she ain't gonna sit up

and tell us herself.

What do you think, Hud?

I don't know. She looks clean to me.

Something killed her.

I'll call the state vet. He might know.

This is our land.

I don't want government men on it.

Any time, any place. This ain't nothing.

Let the buzzards have her.

No, I don't believe I will.

I'll call the government man

and ask him to take a look.

Bring someone in to tell you how to run

your business, just don't ask my opinion.

I'd like you and Lon

to stay out here for a while.

I'll take these boys back with me

so they can snooze a little.

Lon, you take that water bag

so you won't parch.

Why don't you sit with our sick friend?

I got a healthy one in town

that won't wait.

It's a good thing you showed up.

We blew a tyre

and I gotta get this stuff back.

- Need help, Jesse?

- I'm all right, Hud, thanks.

You think your hand would fall off

if you opened the door?

- Did you pick up my beer?

- Two six-packs. Enough till tomorrow.

- Keeping count on me?

- I keep tripping over those empties.

Somebody smells of Chanel No. 5.

It isn't me. I can't afford it.

You sure weren't riding the range

this afternoon.

- I sure wasn't.

- No.

I wish I knew where some girls

get the time.

By the time I finish scrubbing the floor,

cleaning the bathtub, hanging clothes...

- They just drop everything, honey.

- I suppose it does beat housework.

- Want an orange? I'll peel it for you.

- No, thanks.

Look, it says "Florida" on it.

We grow 'em right here in Texas

and they send them in from Florida.

That makes sense, doesn't it?

Yeah.

The checker at the A and P market

says you're seeing Truman Peters' wife.

Is that what he says?

He says she got a bad temper. Her maid

quit because she hollers so much.

Well, our maid's gonna get canned

'cause she's talking too much.

- You want a Fig Newton?

- No.

Just leave a little something for dinner,

will you?

You still eating bread?

After steak and flour gravy, hominy,

fried okra and onions, and hot rolls?

May have looked a lot,

but it melted away.

- Hud didn't want dinner?

- He's prettying up. He'll eat later.

What's for dessert?

You think a freezer-full

of peach ice cream would do?

I've been waiting all winter

for those Alberta peaches.

That's what you've been waiting for?

How about those peachy pin-ups

you hide with your socks?

That's private. Stay out of there.

I'm a girl.

They don't do a thing for me.

I'll dish up the ice cream on the porch.

It's cooler.

That'll be fine, Alma.

Go on, before you wet your didy.

Alma!

Yeah?

Give me a clean white shirt.

You're big with "please"

and "thank you".

Please get off your lazy butt

and get me a clean shirt. Thank you.

- Had trouble getting the lipstick out.

- Let's try yours. It might wash out easier.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes