Hudson Hawk Page #15

68.

111A OMITTED 111A

112 INT. MYSTERIOUS DARK ROOM 112

KAPLAN:

Way to go, Anna.

ANNA:

Hudson Hawk had some interesting

things to say about Darwin, Minerva

and you. Basically, that you're

part of the same car pool.

KAPLAN:

Anna, Anna, Anna. If this was true,

Almond Joy would have handed you

your heart right after you handed

me the codex. Now the trick is

this. As soon as the Mayflowers find

out that we have the codex, they'll

want to make a deal, those greedy

pigs. So, we'll deal. They buy.

We bust. Operation Deflower

Mayflower.

ANNA:

What about Hudson Hawk?

KAPLAN:

I wouldn't worry about him. He's

going to be very well taken care

of. Now you look tired. Maybe

you should go back to Rome and get

some sleep.

Kit Kat.

ANNA:

Cat got his tongue?

KAPLAN:

Actually, he never told us what it

was.

Arrividerci, baby.

ALMOND JOY:

With all due respect to that great

dress, how come you didn't let me

cut out her heart?

KAPLAN:

Close call, but she's our only way

of keeping tabs on that damn

mysterious Vatican organization.

68A.

ALMOND JOY:

Do you think they have any idea

that Operation Deflower Mayflower

is as bogus as Kit Kat's tits?

KAPLAN:

No, but bringing her to the Mayflower

castle may have given her a big

juicy hint.

Hawk, Hawk, it's time to go to the

principal's office.

HUDSON HAWK -Rev. 10/31/90 69.

113 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CASTLE--NIGHT 113

Moving into the chopper, Anna glimpses Bunny, the

obnoxious dog, in a Mayflower logo dog tag, taking a leak

on some bushes. She fakes a yawn to the like dressed Kit

Kat, who fakes one back.

114 INT. THE GOLD MACHINE ROOM--NIGHT 114

Kaplan, Hawk, and the other agents march into the mammoth

room of the opening scene. In the place of where one

remembers the gold machine are undulating sheets, beneath

which are unassembled parts of the machine.

Inside, a ball goes whizzing out of a tennis ball

machine. In tennis gear and goggles, Darwin Mayflower

thwacks it against the wall of (now faded) frescos.

Also in tennis threads, Minerva is laying on a chaise

lounge, pressing a gadget that causes another ball to

shoot out. Darwin batters it. The ball richochets

into the forehead of an "amused" Alfred, retrieving

balls in sweat pants.

ALFRED:

Jolly. Good. Shot. Sir.

MINERVA:

Ooh, it's Hudson Hawk, you cease to amaze

me, convict. You are a terrible cat burglar!

DARWIN:

Haven't you ever seen, like David Niven?

You know tiptoe in, tiptoe out.

MINERVA:

Like a "cat", one could say.

HAWK:

I can always take it back.

Hawk reaches for the Codex. Kaplan pulls it over to

Darwin, who slits the binding and tugs out another

geometrically perverted orystal.

HAWK:

Another piece of the puzzle for

the Da Vinci Alchemy project.

Kaplan, Darwin, and Minerva look up to Hawk, then to each

other, all start to speak, then all stop. This quandary

is deferred by the entrance of the twin Flunkies.

(CONTINUED)

HUDSON HAWK -Rev. 10/31/90 70.

114 CONTINUED:
114

DARWIN:

Oh, you. There's nothing more I

hate than failure. All you had to

do was follow the Hawk, it's not

like I said "Teach our nation's

children how to read." I suppose

we're just going to have to kill

'em...

Shockingly swift, Minerva pulls a small gun from beneath

her tennis dress and blasts a burning hole between each

set of Flunky eyes, splattering them to the ground.

DARWIN:

God Minerva, I was kidding.

115 A SHOCKED HAWK 115

backs from the blithe carnage into a forklift which is

carrying a sheeted load of materials. The familiar

Gold Machine Demonhead drops out from the sheets

into Hawk's outstretched, curious hand.

116 THE MAYFLOWERS 116

reverberate off each other with laughter. Bloodstained,

Kaplan and Almond Joy exchange an eye bulge. Minerva's

smile disappears as she sees Hawk by the forklift.

MINERVA:

Get away from there, convict!

HAWK:

Just browsing.

Snickers touches him. Hawk smashes him in the jaw.

Snickers rears back to reciprocate.....

DARWIN:

Don't hurt him! We need him for

the final job!

HAWK:

Oh weeeeelly, don't hurt me? Even

if I do this....

Hawk pulls Snickers' glasses off and stamps them.

HAWK:

What about this....

Hawk knees Butterfinger in the stomach.

HAWK:

Surely this must offend....

(CONTINUED)

71-73.

116 CONTINUED:
116

HAWK:

O mamamia, pizzaria, things are

really heating up in the Da Vinci

castle tonight. May I call you

Minnie? You put your left foot

in...

DARWIN:

Come to think of it, there is a part

of your body that you don't need for

your next job.

HAWK:

I always wanted to sing like

Frankie Valle.

MINERVA:

Big boys don't cry ii ee

HAWK:

3:
52

Look you Eddie Munster looking...

Somebody better start telling me

what's going on or I ain't doing

another thing, and I wouldn't mind

getting paid either. I want to be

treated as an adult.

DARWIN:

That's fair. Tomorrow. Back in

Rome. Now go to your room.

73A.

117 INT. DARK CONFESSION BOOTH--MORNING 117

The lips of Anna come into light.

ANNA:

Forgive me Father for I have

sinned. It's been 1200 hours

since my last confession.

118 INT. THE CARDINAL'S SIDE OF THE CONFESSION BOOTH 118

The cardinal suppresses a yawn.

CARDINAL:

Hit me with your best shot.

ANNA (O.S.)

I betrayed a man. A good man.

innocent man. A thief.

An

CARDINAL:

Anna, what are you trying to say...

HAWK HUDSON -Rev. 8/8/90 74.

119 ANNA'S DARKENED LIPS 119

ANNA:

He came into a world where crime

is a legitimate business tactic

and a legitimate government

procedure. But he knew Right and

Wrong. Oh, and we kind of messed

around...

120 THE CARDINAL 120

freaks and goes into some Italian gibberish before...

CARDINAL:

Santo Dio! Que discracia!... "Messed

around" messed around? I knew--I

don't want to know. First base?

Second Base? Stop me when I'm

getting warm...

ANNA (O.S.)

A little Petting is not the issue!

CARDINAL:

Sorry. Seventeen Hail Marys and

five minutes outside.

121 INT. OUTSIDE THE CONFESSION BOOTH--MORNING 121

The Cardinal emerges and stands by Anna's confessional

curtains.

CARDINAL:

So, sister, what you are saying is

that Hudson Hawk is not willingly

working for the Mayflowers but

Kaplan and the Candy Bars are?

Anna moves out of the confessional curtains, wearing a

FULL NUN HABIT for she is a Nun. The gaspingly beautiful

church unfolds as they walk.

ANNA:

You got it. Operation Deflower

Mayflower is a joke and I'm the

punchline. I thought we were using

the CIA to get Mayflower, but really

the CIA is using me to keep us away

from Mayflower.

(CONTINUED)

HAWK HUDSON -Rev. 8/8/90 75.

121 CONTINUED:
121

CARDINAL:

Oh, why couldn't I be the Cardinal

in charge of catering....If the

Mayflowers get the three sections

of Da Vinci's crystal and his

instructions for the gold machine-Aie-

yi--Do we got anything? What of

Tommy 5-Tone, Hawk's friend, where

is his loyalty?

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