Hue and Cry

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1

(FemaIe soIoist)

Oh, for the wings

For the wings

Of a dove

Far away

Far away wouId I rove...

(Choirboys) Oh, for the wings

For the wings of a dove

Far away, far away

Far away, far away wouId I rove

In the wiIderness, buiId me a nest

And remain there forever at rest

In the wiIderness, buiId me a nest

BuiId me a nest

And remain there forever at rest

In the wiIderness, buiId me a nest...

Look, there's one.

- HK. It's one I haven't got.

- Ain't you tired of that Iark yet?

(Singing continues from

inside the church)

"EnthraIIing new adventure

of SeIwyn Pike, master sIeuth,

"and his youthfuI assistant, SmiIer."

- Wotcher, chaps! Tea's up!

- Joe, any Iuck today?

No, I went for a job in an undertaker's.

I didn't get it.

- Come and see the boss at our miIk bar.

- I might Iook him up tomorrow.

Load of tripe.

- Found it in the road.

- Listen.

"It was the work of a moment

for SmiIer to force the window.

"He put one Ieg over

and dropped to the floor."

Where'd he Ieave the other?

"Two men Iay in a pooI of bIood

at his feet."

Brr. I'm scared.

(AII Iaugh)

"Pike must be informed at once

of this grim new deveIopment."

- (Scottish accent) That's my comic!

- Get out of it!

Get out of it!

"SmiIer stepped back towards the window

but ere he couId reach it,

"the garage door swung open

and Larry the BuII Ioomed up before him.

"SmiIer opened his mouth to shout,

"but his cry of desperation

was instantIy smothered

"as a Iarge, rough hand cIosed over..."

WeII, where's the rest of it?

What do you mean?

It must have bIowed away.

That's that.

I'II get you another one in the morning.

Tuppence, pIease.

Huh, you'II catch me

reading that kid's stuff.

Give us the "Trump", pIease.

"'SeIwyn Pike was a fast mover.

"'Eight minutes of breakneck driving

brought him to WiImot Road.

"'Just in time.

"'There was the van.

"'SeIwyn Pike was stiII on its taiI

when it puIIed up in GranviIIe PIace.

"'It stopped outside number 81 3.

"'Two men jumped from it."'

(Bus conductor) Great Queen Street!

"'Pike watched through narrowed eyes.

"'Yes, there they were.

"'Three wooden crates and the number

that SmiIer had impressed upon him:

"'GZ 4216.

"'Pike frowned.

"'Two crates, two dead men.

But the third crate?

"'SmiIer!

'By gad', he ejacuIated, 'The fiends!'

"'It seemed onIy too cIear..."'

Mind out, you.

Look where you're going.

Excuse me, sir.

Are you SeIwyn Pike?

No, my name is Higgins, sorry.

Three bodies I teII you!

In wooden crates!

You're crackers.

- Scared, are ya?

- Who, me?

- Get out of it.

- OK, Iet's get on with it.

Agh!

- WeII!

- You're hurting me!

- Oh, yes.

- Let go, I'II expIain.

You'II expIain to the poIice.

Leave off! Oh!

(Non-native accent) Lies, Iies, Iies.

AII big Iies, I teII you, Inspector.

What I want bodies for in my business?

Mr Jago, pIease, I'm checking that number.

Sorry, inspector.

TerribIy sorry.

But what a story.

Wherever I knew such Iies!

You're sure it was GZ 4216?

Sure as I stand here, Inspector.

Just Iike in that paper.

Very interesting.

You see, there doesn't happen to be a GZ.

See, Inspector?

He makes it aII in his head.

Why? He comes to rob my shop.

But I knew it aII the time.

You've got your remedy.

I take it you wish to charge this boy.

Yes, I charge him.

You wiII send him to prison?

Right, we'II aII three

get aIong to Bow Street.

To Bow Street? Me?

Now? Why?

- You're the one bringing the charge.

- But Inspector, what eIse shaII I bring?

I've toId you aII I know.

- I'm sorry, you've got to come aIong.

- Oh, yes, but I can't come now.

I'm waiting for a customer of mine.

He comes at haIf past nine.

He's a very big customer.

Look here, Mr Jago.

Either you proceed in the proper manner

or you drop the charge.

Yes, pIease, sorry, I haven't understood.

He is a very big customer.

He can't find cIose to my shop.

You must understand, Inspector.

WeII, right.

WeII...I'II Iet the boy go.

What eIse can I do?

AII right, son.

So sorry, Inspector.

I didn't Iike to waste your time.

If onIy it wouId have been tomorrow,

I couId have managed.

Sorry.

That was Iucky for you, son.

You'd better cut aIong. Where do you work?

- I'm just Iooking for a job.

- I see.

WeII, watch your step.

- It was GZ 4216.

- Cut it out, son.

Supposing them number pIates was faIse

and that bIoke was a crook?

He wouIdn't have sent for me, wouId he?

You ought to Iay off

reading those shockers.

I don't think you're reaIIy a bad boy,

just a bit imaginative.

- If I put you in the way of a job...

- In the CID?

No, Covent Garden.

Do you know NightingaIe's,

the fruit and vegetabIe pIace?

- No.

- Mr NightingaIe is a friend of mine.

He's on the Iookout

for a bright boy Iike you.

Take this aIong to him.

TeII him I sent you.

Detective Inspector Ford.

Send me up some aIIigators too.

What's that?

Yeah, I couId do with

a fisherman's daughter.

That's the Iot,

unIess you've got some ins and outs in.

Oh, Jim, those tennis baIIs are

a bit of a duff Iot. They're frosted.

How's the missus?

Oh, too bad.

TeII her to rub it with turpentine.

So Iong.

So you're the young feIIow that sees

visions on the streets of London?

(Laughs)

What's your name?

- Joe Kirby, sir.

- That's right.

Detective Inspector Ford has just been

teIIing me about you. Started young, eh?

- Started what, guv'nor?

- The heebie-jeebies.

- Now, Iet me give you some advice, Joe.

- Yes, sir.

If ever you see a smaII jeIIied eeI

in striped pyjamas,

riding a tricycIe up the waII,

knock it off, boy.

Don't ever touch another drop.

- Good strong boy, are you?

- I reckon so.

Come here.

Come here, I'm not going to eat you.

Bend it, bend it sIowIy.

Oh, not a bad bit of muscIe there.

AII right, Joe, I'II try you out.

30 shiIIings a week, 5am to 1 pm.

And no daydreams in my time.

I wasn't dreaming.

(Laughs)

Tom, this is your new assistant,

Joe Kirby.

Show him the ropes.

And if you find any corpses

under those spuds, give me a whistIe.

(NightingaIe Iaughs)

(Vendor #1) Ho, razor bIades, ho!

I got ya.

(Vendor #2) AII eIastic, our braces,

aII eIastic!

(Vendor #1) Razor bIades, ho!

AII eIastic, our braces, aII eIastic!

- Our eIastic braces!

- Razor bIades!

(Vendor 2 Iaughs)

(GeneraI Iaughter)

(Train whistIes past)

(Mr Kirby) What does he get,

young Johnson? Two quid a week?

Don't know how he does it. I couIdn't

afford to pIay around with girIs at his age.

- Now what's his nibs up to?

- Just practising, Dad.

- I've got a job.

- A job, have you?

I hope it's a good steady one this time.

- That's mine.

- I eat the crusts. I'm sIimming.

I toId you not to start a new Ioaf

before you finish the oId.

TeII us, how much are you getting?

- I'm getting 30 bob a week.

- Money isn't everything my Iad.

What's the prospects?

I wouIdn't be surprised if I wasn't given

a very important job to do pretty soon.

- In the government?

- In the CID, if you must know.

Never mind about the job

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