Hue and Cry Page #2

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you're going to get.

- What about the job you've got?

- It's in Covent Garden.

I was recommended

by a detective inspector.

I've got to carry ten baskets on me 'ead.

WeII, it's not what I'd caII

a reaI safe job,

but some of these porters

earn good money.

Dad, you know about car numbers?

I'II have a word with Ted WiIIiams.

His son works in the market.

- Why ain't there no cars with GZ?

- I didn't know there wasn't.

It's flowers he goes in for.

SeasonaI stuff.

White carnations wouId go weII

with my new dance dress.

Joe, try and get us a coupIe.

White carnations. I've got

more important things to worry about.

Like joining the CID?

Some peopIe ain't got the imagination.

I done a bit of good

for that detective inspector.

Kept me eyes open and what with this

crime wave, I wouIdn't be surprised...

You've got a bit of sausage on your chin.

(Crashing)

(Mimics bombs dropping and expIoding)

(Mimics machine-gun fire)

(Continues to mimic firing weapons)

Joe!

Seen any of the others yet?

No, why?

Roy EIIis ain't haIf been spinning a yarn.

- I shouId worry.

- He says they fetched a cop aIong to you.

Detective Inspector.

Detective Inspector!

Coo, what happened?

Nothing much,

'cept he gave me a job.

(Mimics bomb bIasts and gunfire)

(Crashing sounds and chiIdren pIaying)

Wotcher, Dicky.

Look who's waIked in.

(Coughing)

(Roy) Found them bodies yet, Joe?

(Loud chattering)

( Tune of "Ten Green BottIes")

Three dead corpses rotting in a box

- You shouId have your brains tested.

- (Boys) ...rotting in a box

And if one dead corpse

shouId accidentaIIy rot

There'II be two dead corpses

rotting in a box

Two dead corpses rotting in a box

Two dead corpses rotting in a box...

(Roy) Never mind. I bet you gave them cops

the best Iaugh they've had for years!

I've got two more sets compIete, Joe.

(Roy) Don't taIk to him about car numbers.

- I've got aII the Xs and Gs.

- You ain't got GZ, Arthur, I know that.

- I have.

- You can't have, there ain't one.

Let's see it.

Where?

There. GZ 4216.

I got it this morning.

GZ 4216!

(Boy mimics cockereI crowing)

You give it back!

(SquabbIing)

Shut up aII of ya!

Where d'you see it?

On my way to work,

coming out of the garage.

Why, what's up?

A garage.

It aII fits.

It aII fits! The van in the story came out

of a garage. They transferred the bodies.

There wasn't any bodies.

you saw that.

- Might mean something eIse, though.

- What do you mean?

That's right, don't you see?

It's sort of a code.

I bet them furs was stoIen.

No, I thought of that.

It can't be. That bIoke

wouIdn't have dared send for the poIice.

- Why not?

- (BIeats)

- You pipe down.

- Pipe down yourseIf. Go on, CIarry.

He took a chance

the cops wouIdn't beIieve Joe.

Now if he goes to 'em again

they'II just Iaugh.

- He's a crook that bIoke in the shop!

- Course he's a crook.

Crooks with a code in a kids' paper(!)

What for anyway?

To get their orders from the boss,

Iike in the stories.

Why don't the boss just teII 'em?

Because he doesn't want them

to know who he is.

Yes.

Who is he, then?

FeIIer that owns the paper?

Might be, or the bIoke

that writes them stories.

FeIix H WiIkinson.

Why not Bing Crosby?

FeIix H WiIkinson.

Yeah.

I wonder if he's in the teIephone book.

There he is.

F H WiIkinson.

Come on.

(Loud whirring)

(Man's voice echoes)

Your fate is in my hands.

(SIow Iaughter)

Nothing can save you now.

Nothing.

You're aII aIone

and I have a siIencer on this gun.

You've onIy got five seconds to Iive...

(Dictaphone) 'the pistoI barked.

A spurt of yeIIow flame.

'Pike's nostriIs were assaiIed

by the famiIiar smeII, er...

'Correction, aroma.'

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

We... We thought

we was going to be murdered.

The door was open.

Oh!

What a jape, eh?

No, I Ieft the door open for Otto, my cat

And that's Dick.

Dick the Dictaphone.

(ChuckIes)

WeII, Iook, come in,

come in and sit down.

Just one moment.

There you are.

WeII, what...what can I do for you?

WeII, sir, we've been reading

that story of yours

about "Mr Pike And The ScarIet Death".

Ah!

My pubIic.

Him being tied to that circuIar saw

and the poison gas seeping in...

Five more days to find out

if he gets away...

...SmiIer when they drop

that bIack widow spider in the crate...

- We was thinking, Mr WiIkinson...

- You might...

TeII us.

Thank you a thousand times.

This is reaIIy the most scrumptious

compIiment I've ever been paid.

- You wiII?

- Of course, by aII means.

One moment though, I...think this caIIs

for a IittIe Iiquid refreshment, eh?

(ChuckIes)

What's he going to give us?

I don't know.

Sip it carefuI.

- Hey, AIec!

- What?

- This. "A Study Of Codes And Ciphers".

- Look out!

(ChuckIes)

Ginger pop.

Come aIong now, feIIows, heIp yourseIves.

No, no, no. Not that one!

Mine has, er...gin in it.

Bung ho!

Mmm! Yum, yum, yum.

And now for the answer

to your touching request.

"SeIwyn Pike And The ScarIet Death."

InstaIment number four.

'Crack!

'The sound of the pistoI shot

echoed and reverberated

'through the sepuIchraI darkness

of the IoneIy miII.

'SeIwyn Pike, his neck a bare six inches

from the crueI bIades of the whirIing saw,

'was aware that something akin to

a miracIe had occurred.

'He had toId nobody of his pIan

to visit Zanzibar Street.'

- Where?

- What?

What is the matter?

The miII where Mr Pike went

was in Lambeth Road.

- I never use reaI streets in my stories!

- It says Lambeth Road in here.

What?

Oh, crumbs.

What a frightening picture.

So that's what SeIwyn Pike Iooks Iike.

I say, a bit of a bounder, I'm afraid.

Not at aII as I imagined him.

But ain't you never seen

this here paper before?

Gracious me, no.

I create these stories.

Why bIess my souI,

you boys are perfectIy right.

It is Lambeth Road!

Now, what on earth induced them

to change that?

- Wait.

- Oh!

- And here's a spIit infinitive.

- (Joe) Mr WiIkinson...

- And aII appearing under my name.

- Mr WiIkinson.

We reckon it's used

as a code by crooks.

I'II never Iive it...

What?

Crooks?

My stories?

That there van.

I've seen it in Great Queen Street,

unIoading three crates.

Another boy saw it too!

Here's the addresses.

By the Lord Harry!

Do you mean my stories

have been distorted by some...

- Master criminaI.

- ExactIy.

Some master criminaI,

as a means of sending instructions to his,

er...minions?

Without betraying his own identity.

(Sighs)

Stupendous.

Just Iike Captain X in "SeIwyn Pike

And The Footprints On The CeiIing".

He used the agony coIumn

in the "Morning Gazette".

My story.

Let me see that.

"GranviIIe PIace, Great Queen Street,

WiImot Road, Woburn Avenue."

1 from 4 Ieaves 3,

and 16 and 14...

Ah!

Ah-ha!

Got something, have you?

Yes.

- What is it?

- The key.

The key to your precious code,

the "London PostaI Guide".

GranviIIe PIace, turn ten pages

and the corresponding position

is Great Queen Street!

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