Human Traffic Page #6

- I'm telling you now.

- He's not gonna get in.

Doesn't f*** about, does he?

[ Jip Narrating ]

Jip, what the f*** are you doing, man?

This is Pablo Hassan.

A complete schizophrenic cokehead.

If he reckons you're f***ing

with him, his boys are gonna

f***ing maim you, man.

Ah, but he likes to think himself

as a bit of a businessman, yeah?

Yeah. And I came here

to do business.

Hiya. Pablo Hassan?

Tony Trueman. Sorry I'm late.

- I don't know anything about this, man.

- No?

- No.

- [ Exhales ]

Oh, uh-- My secretary

phoned here yesterday afternoon.

She, um-- She spoke

to someone here, arranged

a meeting for tonight. 8:00.

- It's all news to me, man.

- [ Sighing ]

Oh, God. I don't believe this.

Well, basically, what it is--

Mix mag, yeah, have done

a survey of Welsh clubs.

The Asylum has been voted

the best club atmosphere

in the whole of Wales.

- Nice one.

- [ Jip Narrating ] He's going for it.

Yeah. We're gonna do a,

a double-page spread.

I interview yourself,

obviously, resident DJs,

uh, some of the clubbers,

shoot everything.

- [ Jip Narrating ]

Jip, you're overdoing it, man.

- You wanna do it now, yeah?

- [ Jip Narrating ] Don't blow it.

- Well--

Well, you see, that's the only problem.

You're not gonna believe this.

Just got down here from London, right?

And I've just found out...

my photographer was involved

in a f***ing car crash

on the way here tonight, man.

- [ Jip Narrating ]

What am I talking about?

- It's nothing serious, it's--

- It just means

we can't do it tonight.

- You mean to tell me...

you drove all the way down here

from London just so you can't

give an interview?

[ Jip Narrating ]

It's all over, Jip. You f***ed it up.

[ Chuckling ]

I know. It's--

For f***'s sake.

I'm sorry about this, mate.

Can I use your phone?

Someone's made a big f*** up here.

I wanna talk to my secretary

to sort this out. Cheers.

Come on, come on.

Carmel. Yeah, it's me.

Yeah, I'm in Wales.

Listen, what the f***'s going on?

I'm with Pablo Hassan now. It's--

Yeah, all right. Yeah, all right.

I don't wanna hear it.

Listen, has Danny Rampling

confirmed his set tomorrow night

at the ministry?

- Danny who, love?

- He did. Okay. All right.

Cheers, Carmel.

Oh, have you heard any more

about Scott's accident?

- What accident?

- Yeah, okay. All right. See you later.

[ Dial Tone ]

Dizzy b*tch.

Cheers, mate. Uh--

I can't do tomorrow night. Uh--

- Next Friday night?

Is that all right with you?

- Yeah, we'll go for that.

Nice one.

Sorry about the f*** up tonight, mate.

I promise we'll get it right next time.

- All right, Tony.

- All right.

I'll see you next Friday, mate.

[ Jip Narrating ]

He who dares, my son. He who dares.

Nice one, mate. Nice one.

[ Dance Music ]

- I hope he's alright.

- Keeping my fingers crossed.

- Sure he is.

- Sure, here he is.

- We're in. Come on!

- Come on. Where is he?

- Can you see him?

- Look here.

- Oh my God!

- You're number one!

- Mate. - What did I tell ya?

- What happened?

- Oh man, a heart attack had happened.

- Ah, OK. OK!

A dove, is it?

- Yeah, mate.

- F***in' lace, anyway?

- Yeah, a bit of speedy, a bit of speedy.

- Yeah. Proper as f***, man.

- Checking out the bush, yeah?

- Oh oh, man, I'm checking out the bush, f***in'

24/7 f***ing' 3-6-5!

- What's your name, mate?

- Oh, save as f***, man!

- What?

- What?

Your name's "Save as f***"?

- What are you all about, man?

- I--, I asked you what your name was.

You've just said "Save as f***".

- Huh, you're off the parade then only.

- Yeah, mate. Murdered, mate, murdered.

Inca Holmes.

Yeah, Felix.

- Oh, man.

- Yeah. Nice on, me. Give a spirit alive.

Save as f***.

Hi, babe.

[ Music ]

[ Lee Narrating ] Wonder how

the drug system works in here.

Every club is different,

but in the Asylum, it's the manager.

He has a string of homeboys

dealing the pukka E's

to the party people in the club.

He makes the most coin

out of this enterprise.

His homies will make

just a couple of quid on each pukka.

His homies are also scoping

for other dealers on the block.

When the homies have

an illegitimate pukka "E"

dealer in their website,

they tell the bouncers.

The bouncers grip him,

nab his stash and kick him out

with a physical warning.

Gives the pukka E's to

their homies and they knock out

to the kids in the club.

What's your name?

What have you had?

Reach for the lasers.

Safe as f***.

[ Crowd Cheering ]

[ Women Shouting ]

Hi, Jerry! We came all the way

from Cardiff to say hi!

[ Woman ] Excuse me, girls.

Hi, we're doing a documentary...

for television

on the British club culture.

- Would you mind

answering a few question?

- Yeah, fire away.

Ah, great. Okay, Eric? Okay.

Um, can I start by asking

why you come to these nights?

Oh, I'd like to answer

that one, if I may.

Sure. Go ahead.

To get absolutely trashed.

- Do you take ecstasy?

- No, no. Well, we used to,

but now we just jack up heroin

and float around the club.

You take heroin

to come to the club?

Yeah, well, we never

used to, but then we saw

Trainspotting, didn't we?

And that just

made us want to do it.

And sometimes if we watch

New Jack City before we go out,

we smoke a bit of crack too.

We just seem to be

so impressionable.

Well, it's the youth

of today, you see.

They need older people

to show them how to live.

Yeah. See, we learn

from their mistakes because

they've done it all before.

- Yeah. Look at Jimi Hendrix.

- And Elvis.

- And Sting.

- Sting's not dead yet.

- No, but he should be. [ Laughing ]

- [ Laughing ]

Oh, uh, sorry.

Do you have the time?

Um, yeah,

it's quarter to 1:00.

Oh, sh*t. We've gotta go.

We're late for our next hit.

- Hi, Mom!

- Hi, Mom!

Bye!

F***in' piss-trickers.

What the f*** are we doin' here?

It don't go like anyone says.

It's not like it's used to be.

It's gone too wide spread.

It used to attract like open-minded people

who--, who were lookin' for something new.

- Yeah, yeah. And people were a lot more friendly.

- Oh, yeah.

Now, it's sometimes a clich, right,

to talk to a stranger in a club for something.

This is essentive everyone's common together

and doing what the f*** they liked.

- And the more like people were over,

the more they've got fun it. - That's it.

- And now, look here. They so much more

playing down, I'm so cool. F*** off! - Yeah.

We have lost the fundamental reason

for using the "E" in the first place?

Which is to leave the ego at the door,

and feel comfortable enough to communicate

with strangers. - Yeah. - You know what I mean?

Oi, easy, man?! Fff...

Twat!

Ah, do you remember when

this was Tom Toms, man?

[ Both Laughing ]

- Tom Toms. - Highly, hi!

[ Indistinct Club Chattering ]

[ Club Music Playing ]

- Oklahoma!

- Oooh!

Right. I'm gonna tell you something.

If this ever spreads,

I will f***ing die, right?

I know you won't.

I know, I know, but

I'm just saying. Yeah?

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