Hunter Gatherer Page #4

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No, you gotta drive. I got some

fridges I got to get rid of.

Some more fridges?

Yeah, I'm making money. I'm charging

people $75 to throw them out.

Damn, you got to pay

to throw them out yourself.

Not in Bedford county, they

don't have that throwaway fee.

So you want me to drive to Bedford

county to throw away some more fridges.

I'll pay your gas money,

it's only an hour away.

Now how many can we fit?

I don't know, how many you got?

I've got three, but I want more!

There's a house

across the street from me

that's got some fridges

in the yard.

What kind of fridges?

Regular.

Well, why didn't you said?

Let's go.

Let me just show you how

an old man does business.

Come on.

All right?

We got to get you some

spinach, too, you're weak.

This is the house?

This is the house.

This is Santa's house.

Who's Santa?

Oh, you'll see. Old friend.

Excuse me, can I help you?

I'm here to see Santa.

Do you have a session scheduled?

Oh, don't worry about that.

Just let her know...

I'm in the middle of an appointment,

you need to come back later.

I'm sorry,

you must be Ashley Douglas.

- I've heard a lot about you...

- No!

- I'm not.

- That's right. You ain't.

I am.

Now go inside and tell Santa,

Ashley Douglas is out here waiting.

Be a good boy.

Thank you.

All right.

What's that?

Come on in.

Thanks, buddy.

Oh, the gang is all here, huh?

What are we,

on vacation or work?

Great shirts. Ashley Douglas.

Yeah, you better watch

your fingers, I get it.

Don't want to lose a digit.

What's that?

This is tight ship.

- This way, please.

- That's a good picture.

- Wow!

The magic moment.

How're you doing?

Congratulations.

You're a very lucky man.

I'm telling you,

you're a very lucky man.

Beautiful, compliments.

Very happy...

We are in the middle

of a session.

I just want to wish them

a word of matrimony.

It would be nice to have guests.

Smile!

- Not so big...

- Santa.

Ashley Douglas.

When did your corn dog get back?

Uh, it's been a bit.

Uh-huh, you just had to come

and see me, huh?

You having wet dreams again

or something?

Well, you know you always

give me wet dreams.

Actually, I'm here

on a business proposition.

You're looking handsome

these days.

I could eat you...

Got any hot sauce?

Santa, what I'm here for,

why you have those fridges

on your porch?

'Cause I eat a lot

and they break.

I'm kidding, we switched the

operations around to digital.

You know the county charges

a $100 to throw away a fridge?

That's why they're

sitting on my porch.

Well, I got a business where

I only charge $75 per fridge

and we dispose of them for you.

Mm-hmm.

Who's that skinny dude?

It's... he's with me.

He's my...

Girl's nephew.

Hi, Santa. I'm Jeremy.

You got a girlfriend?

No.

You wanna come and lay

on top of me for a minute?

Just lay on top of you?

Yeah.

I'm like a human water bed.

Right here.

Oh...

Oh...

It's okay.

- Same old Santa.

- -Oh!

Greg, go ahead and get that

Turkey dinner $150 for me.

Thank you.

Come and get it.

You know you always got a place

to come and lay your head.

I'm yours always,

me and my wrinkled dog.

We'll get those fridges

out of your hand.

Greg.

Bob!

Ooh, that ain't gonna work.

No, no, nah-uh.

No more fridges.

Mom, please don't be mad,

all right? This is good.

I can't take this anymore.

I mean, the holes,

the weird smells from your room,

the refrigerators...

I can't do this anymore.

Why are you embarrassing me

in front of my friend?

You should be happy for me.

Each of these fridges, $75 cash.

Tax-free.

Why don't you go live

with your new friend?

And you all can collect

all the refrigerators you want

and put them all over

everywhere for all I care.

First of all, Jeremy lives in the

nursing home with his grandpa.

So I can't live there.

Second of all, maybe you should

go live in a nursing home.

I gotta go get the truck fixed,

I'll see you tomorrow.

You and that woman

need to get out of my house.

I have tried to care

for you, Ashley.

To provide for you.

But you just don't know

how to be acting.

So you kicking us out.

Putting us out on the street.

You're supposed to be an adult,

so you need to be

acting like one.

Fine. When do we need

to be out by?

As soon as a.S.A.P.

Here's your respirator,

Mr. Pittman.

Got a little bad news for you.

The parts needed to fix this

machine, they don't make it anymore.

So consequently, we were

unable to fix it.

The other guy said

it'd be ready by today.

Yeah, I know.

We tried to get it ready

by today,

but we couldn't even find the manufacturer's

name anywhere on this machine,

to even order the parts.

That's because

my granddad invented it.

And because

your grandfather invented it,

he's the one who can fix it,

'cause this is his invention.

You see, there's no point of

reference anywhere on this machine

to even tell us exactly

what this thing does.

The other guy said

you all could figure it out.

Yeah, I know, we tried,

but unfortunately, Mr. Pittman,

we couldn't figure it out.

Truck broke down

today, granddad.

I didn't do anything wrong.

It just stopped working.

I'll take it to a mechanic

tomorrow and get it fixed.

Those repairman couldn't figure

out how to work your respirator.

Don't worry, I'll fix it.

We got to get out of here.

Why?

'Cause it's my mom's house

and I'm old enough to be

having a place of my own.

Your mom's kicking us out?

Yeah.

It's happened before.

She gets on these tirades,

you know.

Ray asked me

to move in with him.

- Taco man?

- Hmm.

- The one you said is ashy and gross?

- Mm-hmm.

You think he might

let me stay there, too?

Does this mean

you wanna be with me?

What's that got to do

with anything?

I mean...

He's not gonna let us

stay there if we're together.

He's gonna be trying

to be with me.

He's gonna make me

his girlfriend.

Hm, but you're my girl.

I know, but he can't know that.

So, I got to know

where we stand,

if he's gonna be

coming to me like that.

I don't know, Nat.

What about that other girl?

The one you talk about

in your sleep.

I explained to you

the Linda situation.

Well, why do you waste

your time with that, Ashley?

I mean, you and me have something

real, don't you see that?

You cannot get in the way

of me and Linda.

You know, I'm sorry I'm not as

good as her, Ashley, but...

Sometimes when you can't

get the person that

you really want to be with,

you got to settle for somebody

you actually can get.

Can't you just help me find a place to stay

without making me be in love with you?

- Hey!

- -Whoo!

- How are you?

- What's up?

Uh, you remember

my friend, Ashley?

That I was telling...

Yeah, helped my nephew.

- Yeah, he here.

- What's he doing here?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, he just wanted

to talk to you, do it for me.

All right, baby.

You must be Ashley.

You must be ray.

She tell me what you did

for Jeremy.

- Oh, yeah?

- I think that's great, man.

After helping someone like that,

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