I, Daniel Blake Page #4

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You look a bit lost.

Aye. I have to apply

for Jobseeker's Allowance...

- Right, yeah. Mmm-hmm.

- And I wanna use one of them

to get on to that Internet web thing.

Right, you could do that today.

We're a bit busy at the moment.

If you can come back a bit later,

would that be okay?

- And then contact Job Centre Plus.

- Mmm-hmm.

And, here we are. "Claim Jobseeker's".

- Okay? So double-click on that one.

- Okay. All right.

And then we need to scroll

right the way down here to continue.

And that's your,

that's your form there for you.

So you need to run the mouse up the screen,

click into there and pop your postcode in.

- Run the mouse up the screen, yeah? Okay.

- Yeah.

- No. No, not quite like that.

- No?

- What you need to do is get your cursor...

- "Your cursor"?

It's a f***ing apt name for it.

So when you're moving your mouse,

- you see what I'm doing with my hand?

- Aye, right.

- Look at my hand.

- Aye. Oh, right, it moves like that.

- And then continue.

- Right, okay.

- And then you start from there. Okay?

- Okay.

- I'll leave you with it. Okay?

- Right.

Right.

Excuse me, pet.

You couldn't help us with this, could you?

Yeah. What is it?

I'm just filling this in.

I'm just... I cannot get the...

This keeps darting all over the place.

What do I do? Do I get on to that and...

Do you just...

I mean, how do you get this down?

Right, so you're controlling this,

and you click on this bar.

- Right.

- And then you pull it down.

- Oh, right.

- And then you get...

- What, do I hold that on there, do I? Okay.

- The rest of it. Yeah.

- All right, then I can just...

- On the left side.

What, what, so I hold this

and just pull that down?

- Yeah, and click the left.

- And click...

- Click to the left.

- Yeah. Right.

And I just put that in there?

Oh, that's right, thanks very much.

- It's fine.

- Aye.

You're a star. Right.

Right, have I done it right? There we are...

Oh, bloody hell. What's this now?

"Error"?

Well, what have I...

Here, mate, you divvent know

what I've done here, do you?

- This error thing.

- Yeah, that's a big thing.

Do you? I don't know, I was just

filling in the thing and it just went...

- There we go.

- Oh, oh, yeah, there we go.

We're back on, right.

- You're sorted, yeah?

- Hey, can you just hang on

just for two seconds so I divvent

go back here again. I'll...

Just, just, just, I'll just like do

a couple more questions.

Yeah, I'll just stand over here, don't worry.

Er... "Are you a Br..."

- Yeah.

- "Yes". Right. I do that.

- Right. What?

- Yeah.

- What's...

- Then you should continue.

Should be all right.

Right, okay.

What's...

It's, it's, it's not bloody, it's not...

- Well nowt's happening now.

- Yeah, just give it a second.

Just give it a second.

But it's just not mov... I mean, look,

it's not even, it's not even moving.

- Let me try, right.

- What? Here, get that.

This is driving me mental, this.

I mean, what have I done now?

- It's frozen. Yeah.

- It's frozen?

Well... Well, can you defrost it?

No, mate, I can't.

Think your time's up.

- What?

- Your time's up.

- Me time's up?

- Yeah, I'm sorry, mate.

Oh, sorry, mate, yeah.

- I'll just leave you to it.

- Oh jeez.

- Do you have a partner?

- Er, no. She, er, she's passed away.

- Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that.

- Thank you.

D'you have any dependent children

aged under 20 living with you?

No, I don't.

It's really important we get this filled in

because we need to get the process started.

Yeah.

Excuse me, Ann. Can I have a word, please?

Could you just give me 30 seconds, please?

We're just getting...

Well, actually,

can I have a word now, in my office?

Thank you.

- Right.

- Jesus, I've got you into trouble now.

- I'm really sorry.

- It's me that should be sorry.

You just carry on, you're doing good.

You know, Ann, we've spoke

about this before.

That isn't acceptable.

- I think in this case it's quite reasonable...

- Come on in the office.

The thing is you're setting a precedent.

It's not acceptable.

Oh, bugger. Bugger, it's...

Jesus...

I don't believe this.

No, I only want my share of the football.

Right then, that's the only team you

need to know in the northeast, is Newcastle.

What other teams do you know?

- Er, Middle... Middle-borough.

- Middlesbrough, aye.

- Middlesbrough. Yeah.

- Middlesbrough.

You know, you divvent need to think

about them either. Aye?

There you go.

Er, we only have one Wagon Wheel left,

so I cut it into four.

But you can have two pieces

considering you're the host.

Oh, there you go.

I'll put your tea down there.

- Oh, hang on.

- Barclay's Premier League.

Here's the big question, Stan Li.

Did you say "Stan Li"?

Yeah. Stan Li from Guangzhou.

Are you two winding me up?

No, that's not our style.

Can you hear me, Stan Li?

Favourite player in the Premier?

Charlie Adams, Stoke City.

Get the f*** out of here.

Are, are you taking the piss?

EPL is crazy money, man.

Charlie Adam. Four million.

No ego.

Team player.

Tough guy.

You see his goal against Chelsea

from his own half?

Boom!

The ball flies up, over Courtois' head.

Cross the line, line. Goal!

He's not in China.

He's in the bloody takeaway down the road.

You two, you're taking the piss.

Okay, Stan Li,

I'll e-mail you my best price. Top price.

I'm gonna see how I get on selling

these ones I've got, okay?

So I'll let you know.

Best price, no bullshit.

Remember, Charlie Charlie, all good money.

Okay, no best price, no more trainer.

No more business.

No more talkie-talkie. No more...

# Swing low, sweet chariot

# Coming for to carry me home #

Right, Dan.

Check your National Insurance Number.

Yep, that's okay.

Press that button right there, Bill Gates.

- What, this one here?

- That one there, "Send."

Huh. It's taken me bloody days

to get this sorted out.

Well done, son.

Jobseeker's Application done.

Dan, don't know why you're applying

for that after your heart attack.

Right, now I'm printing your appeal form

for Employment and Support Allowance.

But you can't appeal till they carry out

a mandatory reconsideration.

Is that printing out now?

You mean, they could have

given it to me just like that?

Dan, they'll f*** you around,

I'm warning you.

Make it as miserable as possible.

No accident. That's the plan.

I know dozens who have just given up.

Well they've picked the wrong one

if they think I'm gonna give up.

I'm like a dog with a bone, me, son.

I have a note on the screen, sir,

that you're awaiting a call

from the decision maker.

Jesus, 55 minutes to hear all this again.

Am I in a time warp?

You can't proceed to the appeal

or the mandatory reconsideration

till you have the call

from the decision maker.

Well, can you ask him to phone us

now, because I've got no income.

I've got no pension

and I've still got the bedroom tax.

I'll make a note on my screen, sir.

Well can you not give him the note now?

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