I, Madman Page #2

to have these thoughts.

He goes into his closet,

digging around for his old medical bag.

He finds it, takes it out, over to a mirror.

He pumps his face full of Novocaine,

and then, with his scalpel...

begins to slice away his features,

one by one.

And he's crazed with love!

So he slices off his face?

Great! The guy's never heard

of a candygram or flowers?

It's only a book, Richard.

It gives me the creeps.

Okay, we won't talk about it anymore.

You always get weird

when you read that sh*t.

If it'll make you feel any better...

first thing after breakfast...

I'll cut myself shaving.

Come here.

That's really sweet of you.

I stood in the shadow of an alley,

watching and waiting.

Watching and waiting for that special one.

It had to be a woman's. I knew that for sure.

Only she spends the time

caring and cultivating...

and combing the silken crown.

A downy frame around a painting

as beautiful as the portrait itself.

They were all out.

The jet-blacks.

The mousy browns.

The bleached blondes.

But none was right...

until Red came along.

Good old Red.

It was perfection.

Soft as cloud and brilliant as sun.

Her flaming crimson torch of feathers.

Ready and ripe for easy picking.

Oh, my God!

Can't somebody call the police?

Please....

Just a little something to help you sleep.

Now...

I would like you to count backwards

slowly from 100.

You like the color, Anna?

Miss? Are you getting on or what?

Jesus Christ, Mona!

I'm sorry.

I thought he was in the back with me.

He scared the sh*t out of me.

Where did he come from?

I found him. I figured

we could keep him here. He's mouse patrol.

-Oh, God.

-Boy, are you jumpy.

I thought you weren't coming to work

till 4:
00 today.

The book! First edition Hemingway.

Old lady Vettey came in yesterday

after you left.

She had a sh*t-fit when she saw

that stuff hadn't been unpacked yet.

-What stuff?

-That stuff upstairs.

The estate sale shipment.

Oh, yeah.

I'll clean this up.

Okay, I'll unpack the stuff.

"Malcolm Brand"?

"Malcolm Brand."

Who'd want to buy a used sex manual?

-Mona, where did you find this book?

-What are you talking about?

-Didn't you leave this outside my door?

-Isn't this the book you're looking for?

I didn't find it.

-Yeah, Channing's desk.

-Detective Channing, please.

-He's not in.

-Hi, this is Virginia Clayton.

I called before. I'm a friend of Richard's.

-Is he back yet?

-No.

But I gave him your message

about a half-hour ago.

I know. But it's very important

that he calls me back.

All I can do is give it to him again.

I'm sure he'll call you back.

-Yes, thank you.

-Okay.

Have him call me back as soon as possible.

Okay.

...completely bald. A chrome dome.

A cue ball.

But just look at these results!

With daily applications

of our advanced formula, hair growth....

Do you like the music?

Why are you doing this to me?

Lovely.

Please...

leave me alone.

You'll come around, Anna.

You will love me.

No, I don't love you. I'll never love you!

You can't mean that.

911. Is this an emergency?

Yes, there's a murder,

it's about to happen. I think.

-The address, please?

-On Wilshire and St. Paul.

The Piano Repair Restoration.

Can I have your name, please?

Stop it!

I closed the book.

Stop it!

Step back, please.

Navarro's upstairs.

Forensic's stuff will take a half an hour.

Come on, this way.

Step back, please.

Here you go.

Watch your heads, boys.

-Frank.

-Yeah?

-Any news about the witness?

-Not a word.

Check this out.

-Hey, Channing.

-Hi.

Hello, gentlemen.

Bag those up, please.

-We got anything?

-Well, not much.

Male, probably 6'2" or 6'3".

-Didn't leave any fingerprints.

-Look at this.

Son of a b*tch sliced his ears off.

Excuse me.

I believe that shade was down.

It's me, Richard. Open the door!

Did you see it?

-Did you make the call?

-Yes.

Can you identify him, honey?

Richard, I'm so scared.

It's okay. It'll be all right.

All-righty.

How about...

that?

Yeah. That's the right shape.

-But they have to be closer together.

-Closer together, all right.

No problem. How about that?

Yeah, that's it.

Terrific.

Let's work on the nose.

There's no nose.

No nose.

He usually wears a scarf

over the bottom half of his face.

But he's showed me a couple of times.

He showed you?

That he doesn't have one. Not yet, anyway.

-He doesn't have one what?

-A nose.

It's like his hair.

He didn't have that until he killed Collette.

-And now he's got that guy's ears.

-Collette Berkowitz, the actress?

She was in my acting class.

You're saying it's the same guy

who killed the Berkowitz woman?

How do you know that?

Because he showed me

this morning, on the bus.

Virginia, honey,

we're not following you here.

Why don't we just

take it from the top, okay?

-It all started with the book.

-A book?

Richard knows about it.

It's this weird book

that I picked up where I work.

-Somehow this character got out.

-He got out?

He got out of the book.

One minute I was reading about him,

and the next minute he was next to me.

He thinks that I'm this actress

named Anna Templer.

She's in the book, too.

And he doesn't have a nose?

He doesn't have anything. He cut it all off.

His hair, his ears, his lips,

and his nose. Everything.

And now he's going to go around...

and take things from other people

so he can graft them onto his own face.

Miss Clayton, why would he....

Why would anybody do such a thing?

Because he thinks that it will please me.

He thinks that it will please Anna.

But because he thinks I'm Anna,

it's really the same thing, right?

I want to thank you very much

for coming in.

Look, I mean,

I know this must sound really crazy.

No, really. You've been a big help.

Detective, when you have a moment,

my office, please?

Can you give me a minute here, please?

Yeah. Sure.

What is happening to you?

-Richard, I know it sounds crazy.

-You're damn right it sounds crazy.

If you don't believe me,

you should read the book.

-It's all right there.

-I don't have to read the book. It isn't real!

Sorry to interrupt.

Garber's waiting, Richie.

I know you had a terrible night.

Why don't you wait downstairs for me

and when I finish with the lieutenant...

we'll go home and try and figure out

what you think you saw.

Please, just wait for me downstairs?

Okay, Richard.

Going down?

Why don't you leave me alone!

Why are you doing this?

Stay away from me!

I want you, Anna.

-You're all I ever wanted.

-Stay away!

This isn't happening.

This is just in my mind.

Things will be better, Anna.

Soon you'll love me as much as I love you.

No, I'm not Anna!

I'll have your heart one way or another.

Just go ahead and kill me, then.

Get it over with.

Get it over with.

Are you all right?

Sure you're all right?

"Non-fiction."

Look, Mel, I don't want to hear from strikes.

Look, Mel, I don't give a sh*t

about your labor problems!

I've got orders to fill.

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