I Am Page #2

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it's okay to use God to sell tap water?

I don't think he minds.

X:

Would you?

Now, that depends what my take is.

I thought you knew me better than that.

Oh, look out!

Heads up!

I hope you sell a lot of those things

because I'm not cheap.

So long as you're a better lawyer

than a golfer.

I know you're the best.

Which is why I'm gonna pay you

whatever it takes to win.

Now we're talking.

Have you read the will?

Have I read the will?

You know that sister of yours?

She didn't do you any favors, did she?

I don't care what she told you.

All right, look, your father's will is not

gonna be an issue, okay? It's cut-and-dry.

His estate went into a trust

for your sister, none to you.

Should she die before the age of 40,

you become the sole heir.

Perfect. She's 39.

Right, but she's not dead, Lance.

No one is gonna find her.

True. Now she's only missing.

No one is gonna see her for 500 years.

What more do they want?

What more do they want?

Did you just ask me that?

They want a body,

that's what they want.

This is Angelica Vita

we're talking about here.

Her disappearance is the biggest

vanishing act since, what, Howard Hughes?

People are gonna want some answers.

And after one look at that will...

...you are gonna be suspect number one,

my friend.

[SELANI GRUNTS]

Yeah, that's not good.

Good afternoon.

Jake Russell,

Los Angeles Police Department.

EVERETT:

You've got 90 seconds. Don't sit.

You're wasting time.

Down to 83 seconds.

Angelica Vita went missing

and hasn't been heard from since.

I have a TV.

Tell me what I don't know.

Two weeks prior to her disappearance,

she made phone calls to a Dr. Richard Ortus.

She had cancer.

People with cancer call doctors.

Dr. Ortus is not an oncologist.

He's a cryogenics expert.

Two days before he arrived, she filed

All funded with exactly the same amount

of money, $24.2 million.

Contents are sealed, but we know

they have the same executor.

Petros Dimitrios. He's a Greek national,

long-time confidante.

Dimitrios personally runs seven

of her largest companies.

Namely in tourism, hotels and shipping.

Three days after her disappearance,

one of these trusts transferred $1 million...

...to a company in Switzerland

known as Endless Horizon.

That company then transferred

$1 million to a company in Hong Kong...

...known as Infinity.

Infinity has made payments

to only one person...

...since its founding one year ago. Ortus.

Where is the crime?

The trusts have also been making payments

to a factory in La Paz, Mexico.

Well, is Ortus on the payroll?

- No.

- Your 90 seconds is up, detective.

[SELANI GRUNTS]

That one kind of hurt.

I got people.

- You got people? What does that mean?

- What are you, my echo? I have.

That's nice, you have people.

Talk to your people.

- Why are we here? What are we doing here?

- Let me get this straight.

If my sister turns 40 before we can get her

declared legally dead...

...I don't get a cent?

Technically, yeah.

That's pretty much how it works.

But that's why you're gonna hire me,

you see?

We'll start with the 250 grand from

your holy-water deal there as a retainer.

Ten percent of the estate.

Oh, yeah. Look at that one.

Look at that one.

Yes! Oh, when it's transferred

into your name, of course.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Get a hearing.

Consider it done.

You know, maybe you're a lefty.

Aaron Rossdale actually completed brief

before it was due.

- What's next?

- An interview with the L.A. Sun, no less.

Oh, not the Stanton case.

No. Your favorite case of all. You.

The L.A. Sun wants to interview me,

about me?

There are people out there

who think you should be the new DA.

Hm.

I don't wanna talk to a reporter today.

I think you'll wanna talk to this reporter.

And why is that?

She's smart and beautiful

and read by 16 million voters.

Oh, no. No, no.

You haven't gone on a date

since I started here.

What constitutes a date?

She'll be here at 3 p.m. Today.

You're fired.

[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO]

How cute is this?

It has leggings.

Ruched leggings. Heh, heh, heh.

So you're gonna go off

and do your very first interview...

...and you're not even gonna tell me

who it is?

Just some prosecutor

that wants to be DA.

- Not Aaron Rossdale.

- Yeah.

He's like the Attila the Hun of lawyers.

That guy would get Santa Claus

Oh, come on. He's not that bad.

- Is he?

- Did you even do any research on this guy?

He has a 98 percent conviction rate.

The highest of any other prosecutor

in the history of L.A. County.

And since he's joined the DA's office...

...the crime rate has decreased

by 40 percent...

...with the murder rate being

three times lower than before he arrived.

[ELAINE LAUGHING]

Yeah, well, the fun rate

has dropped to zero.

Well, there's two sides to every story.

Look, all you really need to know...

...is that his daddy ran for governor

about 10 years ago and lost.

Ever since then,

he and mommy dearest...

...have been trying to get junior

into the seat daddy couldn't win.

Plus he's cute.

What?

Alice, we've been down

this road before, sister.

Okay, that was kind of out of line.

I am a professional.

God help you.

What?

Your critics say you're too aggressive

in your prosecutions.

Oh, boy, here we go.

In fact, criminals you've convicted

average 25 percent more jail time...

...than other criminals

convicted of similar charges.

How do you respond to that?

Well, it depends on your perspective.

Is it with the criminal

or is it with the victim?

I'm with the victim.

You asked for and achieved life in prison

for Victor Ramirez...

...for stealing $150.

Mr. Ramirez did steal $150.

He also beat and tortured 80-year-old

Alfonso and Maria Blanco...

...in their own home.

You see,

we as a society have to make a choice.

Are we gonna tolerate this kind of garbage

or are we gonna send a message?

Victor Ramirez got that message.

And the people of Los Angeles

are better off for it.

What about Mrs. Ramirez

and their children?

Mr. Ramirez made a choice.

His children will have to do the same.

One bad choice? No second chances?

Depends on the choice.

- You like her.

- Yeah, sit down.

Get a dozen roses to that address...

...before she gets there. I'll take you and

Roger to dinner anywhere you wanna go.

Oh, you really like her.

Just get the flowers.

ELAINE:

A dozen roses?

Welcome to politics.

ALICE:

Oh, I think he's sweet.

- So is arsenic.

- Oh.

- Hi, baby.

- You're not gonna call him, are you?

I already did.

Alice.

Hey, this isn't a game.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

And that would be him.

Yeah. Don't be mad.

I gotta...

So you must think

I'm really gonna make you look bad.

I don't care what you make me look like,

I want you to go on a date with me.

[WHISPERING]

Do not go on a date with him.

ALICE [OVER SPEAKERPHONE]: Can't go out

on a date until the story comes out.

- Okay, fine. When does it print?

- Wednesday.

All right. How about Thursday night?

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