I Am Heath Ledger Page #2

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of coming to a house

full of art and artists.

I am filming

right now.

He got this camera,

and he didn't know what to do

other than to make something.

It wasn't just to film us

and film what we were doing.

He was, like, creating

something straight away.

He always used to say to me,

"Don't forget your camera,"

and I was like, "What am I going

to film between here and there?"

and he was like, "I don't care.

You could film your feet."

But we'd watch

a lot of our videos back.

He was just... curious,

and watching it, and, like,

thinking how

he could do things different.

That's how he learned.

He never studied...

anything, really.

He was self-taught.

He could really see

what he was doing

and how to do that better

or different...

Hmm.

Even if it

was the way he smiled

or where he was looking,

he'd make a lot of things

just for himself,

just to teach himself.

That's right...

And evil

super-villains.

Evil super-villains.

... civilian men and women...

Who?

Got it, boss.

Let's go!

Okay, I've got my mission.

We're at the peephole.

You never know

who's out there waiting.

Okay.

Hey.

Did they know?

Okay, he's not there.

Let's keep on looking.

Down here.

Good Lord.

It was an effort.

Thank God I made it.

What's this? A message?

It must be from him.

Oh, my God...

The screen test for The Patriot

came up with Mel Gibson,

who's the biggest

Australian movie star.

That was one of his idols,

and he loved,

you know, Mad Max and...

It was a huge,

huge thing for him.

It was an actual screen test

and costume on the set

with the main star.

I was halfway

through the second scene

that I had to read for them,

and words were just bluhblbl,

coming out like this,

and so I just stopped

and stood up

and I said, "I'm sorry.

I'm wasting your time."

Heath called me and said,

"They're not calling you

on this one.

I just didn't do well,"

and it was something,

enough there

that Roland Emmerich

and the studio and Mel

all looked at each other

and, I think, said,

"You know, let's take a shot."

So this is, um,

first day shooting.

This is the first day

on The Patriot for me.

I'm looking forward to it.

It's been three months since

I found out I got this job,

and finally, after three months

of sitting around

thinking about it,

I get to go out there

and do it.

This is it.

So...

Blink my eyes,

and it'll be out there.

Guys, guys,

Heath's here, guys.

Everybody look alive.

It was a huge production.

It was a little terrifying

to be in another city

with no friends,

and you're just sitting there

on your own.

It's a lonely life.

Cut.

That's why he took me

to most places

is that it was us.

Hee hee hee hee.

We met riding our bikes

out in the street,

and we just became

best friends.

We felt...

at home together.

You could tell that he was...

he wanted to do a good job.

He was still learning.

I'm not going back.

No, I didn't

expect you would.

That Gates is a damn fool.

He spent too many years

in the British army.

Going muzzle to muzzle with

Redcoats in open field...

it's madness.

He called me one day

from the set,

really upset.

He was having a hard time,

and he was struggling,

just a crisis of confidence.

He was probably, in his head,

he's standing across

from his idol,

acting with Mel Gibson.

For a young Aussie kid,

it was a lot.

He would get caught up

in the fear

of whether or not

he could accomplish

what he wanted to do.

He kind of almost pulled out

of every movie

he ever ended up doing.

It's kind of

a rule of thumb for me

to self-doubt,

always think

that I shouldn't be doing it,

and I don't know how to do it,

and I'm going to fail,

and that I fooled them,

and I always try

and find a way out.

And he got past it,

and Mel was great.

Mel was so generous with him

and really took him

under his wing

and was amazing.

I'm sorry.

Be quiet.

I'll take care of you.

You're going to be all right.

Father...

I'm sorry... about Thomas.

Mel really taught him

how to come in and out

of a character.

He definitely learned

how to relax a little,

rather than building himself

up of, like,

"I've got this scene,

and I've got to do this."

I think Mel was

the first teacher that he had.

Heath used to say to me,

"It's not what Mel says.

It's what he doesn't say."

It's good.

I'm happy to be finished.

It was long.

It was really fun, though,

and they're really great people,

and I'm going to catch

a plane in two hours.

Mel had said,

"Well, I'm taking my jet.

Do you guys want

to come with me?"

Mel Gibson's inviting us

on his jet...

and, all of a sudden,

there we are,

with Mel on his jet,

cruising back to L.A.

It was definitely,

definitely a moment.

So we were always

going on adventures

and looking

for the next adventure

that was exciting and fun.

He'd finished a film.

He had downtime.

We went to Burning Man in '99.

Oh, cool.

We were excited

because we knew

nothing about it.

Cool.

The creativity

that exists there

and the ability to ride bikes

morning, noon, and night...

I think Burning Man

was Heath's favorite place

on Earth.

Do you want

a whiskey, Trevor?

I'd love a whiskey.

Whiskey.

Whiskey and hot dogs.

Nice.

It was a bunch

of half-naked people

and dance music 24-7,

and we fit in really well.

Heath lived every moment

to the fullest.

He was always looking to create

something out of the situation.

Cool...

You see?

He was an artist.

He loved to paint.

He loved to draw.

Cameras

were a big passion of his.

He knew the lighting

that was available.

He knew the speed of the film

that was in his camera

and what he could set it at

without using a light meter.

The cameras were a part of him.

Heath and I

had mutual friends,

so it was a setup.

We met,

and that was it.

That was it.

There were always

cameras around...

a video camera,

or a Polaroid camera,

or the film camera.

I was amazed when I saw

all of the stuff together...

and how many photographs...

I mean, he was

documenting everything.

He was just surrounded

by all of those moments

he was in,

and then surrounded by them,

but then he'd be capturing

the next moment

and the next moment, you know,

and the next moment.

Didn't stop.

It never stopped...

and the way

he was able to be in the moment

and then capture the moment

on the camera...

He just got you

in your most authentic self.

You know, he really got me.

I think that's a beautiful thing

because he's saying, you know,

through his photographs,

"I see you."

The art was more of a need,

almost,

to live in the world

and then capture the world.

He would draw on it

or scratch on it

or use crayon or nail polish.

He wanted to take it all

with him.

That's the only way

I think of him,

with the camera

in the hand.

That was just Heath.

His mates from Perth,

they were

a very close, warm,

loving, you know,

tight group of friends,

and he loved

having them around.

Okay, so I take the 101 south.

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