I Am Not a Serial Killer Page #2

news exclusive.

Death stalks

America's heartland.

-Okay, so the first question

of psychological profiling is

what's the killer doing

he doesn't absolutely

have to be doing?

-Dude, I think

it's a werewolf.

-It's not a werewolf.

-Dude, did you see the news?

It has the intelligence of man

with the ferocity of a beast.

What is that supposed to be?

-It's not a werewolf.

Werewolves aren't real.

The stories of them

probably started

from serial killers, you know.

Vampire's too. It's just men

who hunt and kill other men.

So assuming a basic goal

of trying to kill somebody.

All you really need to do

is shoot them, right?

-Yeah.

-So what's he doing

that he doesn't have to do?

-Well, he's s -- stabbing him,

rippin' into him.

-Exactly, yeah, that's the,

that's the first thing,

you know.

He approaches 'em in person.

Probably means he wants to be

close to the victims. What else?

-He attacked during the night,

in the dark.

-I think that's probably

just something he had to do.

-Doesn't that count

for your list?

-I mean, it's,

it's not a unique trait.

Nobody who kills somebody else

wants to be seen.

-Just put it on your list,

i mean..

...not everything in this

has to be your idea.

Ted Bundy..

...the one that they, uh..

...they coined

the term serial killer for.

He said that

after you killed somebody..

You know, if you had

enough time with them.

They could be whoever

you wanted them to be.

- You're weird man.

-I hate Halloween.

It's absurd, you know.

This is the,

this is the night when

evil spirits are supposed

to walk the earth.

You know, druids burning kids

in wicker baskets, you know.

-My position is vulnerable

out here, boys

let's stay alert

and keep moving.

-Can't you just tell him

to go away?

-Nah, leave him alone.

He's convinced the killer

is gonna come out and get us.

Plus, it makes him happy.

Right, dad?

- Let's just hurry up

and get the hell outta here.

- Dad, you said we could

stay out till 9:
30.

- Trick or treat?

-You boy's shouldn't be

out this late.

-Yeah. It's not safe

with a killer out there.

-That's what I'm saying.

- You boys be careful.

-Are you it?

-Am I what?

-The clown from "it,"

that Stephen king book.

-No.

I was thinking about

dressing up as my mother

but I was worried

what my therapist would say.

-You gonna juggle

for us, freak?

-That's a really

clever costume.

You know, it looks great.

It's really inventive and the

the bullet hole

looks...Really authentic.

-You know this is a party

for normal people? Right?

So why don't you go home

to your undertaking

slut of a mother.

Alright?

What are you smiling about?

-I've been clinically

diagnosed with sociopathy, rob.

To me, you're an object.

You know, you're a,

you're a thing.

You're about as important to me

as a cardboard box.

And the -- the thing about

cardboard boxes..

..Is that..

You know they're totally boring

on the outside, right?

But...Sometimes,

if you cut 'em open

there'll be something

interesting inside.

You know, and so,

while you're saying

all these boring things to me

I'm thinking about

what it'd be like

to cut you open.

But I -- I don't wanna,

i don't wanna be that person.

And so, I have a rule

that anytime

somebody says something to me

where I -- I think about,

you know, cuttin' 'em.

I -- I -- I just smile

and I say something nice.

So that's why I say to you

rob Anders of 232,

carnation street.

You are a really great guy.

-You're a freak.

-You're not a freak.

- John.

What is this?

-It's..

-John..

...wash up and get out.

-Mom, it's -- it's not..

-I should be stronger

with you.

This is my fault.

-Mom, there -- there should be

something missing.

-Go, John.

-There should be an organ

missing to fit the profile.

-Go!

This door will be locked

in future!

-Who told you?

-He told a school counselor,

who told me.

Lucky for you, she didn't tell

principal Layton.

Apparently you gave him

nightmares, John.

-Rob Anders is a bully.

- Doesn't mean you can threaten

to kill him.

-I, I didn't.

-And then there's

what happened in the mortuary.

What is it?

What set you off?

-It all just feels so close.

This is, this is nowhere.

It isn't supposed to happen here

it's supposed to be

somewhere else, you know.

-Okay. Let me ask you this.

Who were you talking to just

before rob Anders upset you?

-Oh, it was just some girl.

- She have a name?

- Her, her name is Brooke.

-Cute?

-Little young for you, doctor.

-Yes. Barrow's goldeneye.

Come here.

Have a look at this.

Here.

Straight over there.

Have a look.

Do you see it?

-Oh..

Yeah. A duck.

-That's a very rare duck.

So don't go killin' it.

I haven't seen one

in over 5 years.

Actually you can see the eyes,

they're very beautiful

more Amber really than gold.

It catches the light,

no matter where they are.

Exceptional.

- Hey, you fishing?

-Huh?

-Are you goin' fishing?

-Ice fishing.

- Do you need a hand

with that stuff there?

Let me just...Take that

off your hands.

Yeah, I used to go fishing

all the time up north.

- Oh, is that right?

- Yeah, my uncle has a cabin..

-Oh, good.

-Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you mind if I come along?

-Uh, well..

-How far off you going?

-Well, far enough.

You're gonna need a -- a hat

out there though, right?

-Uh..

...i bought you a hat.

- Here.

We're not gonna tell your mom

about this, okay?

Right now she is simultaneously

trying to stuff a Turkey

and wipe away tears.

-She's crying?

-Uh-huh.

Mother of all blow ups

yesterday with Lauren

who's now not coming

to Thanksgiving dinner tonight.

That leaves you and me, sport.

Go and wash.

I need you to come out of your

head for a couple hours, okay?

Give her a hand..

...make her realize she still

has one loving child left.

Or at least pretend.

-Urgh!

-Oh, I had to stop by Ron's

for that file he forgot

and he, uh, he told me a joke.

You wanna hear it?

-Sure.

- What's small and grey

and screws in the walls?

-I don't know..

John, can you

scoot across

to the watsons and

ask bev for some vanilla?

-Uh..

Yeah, sure.

- Keep it up you loser.

- Hi, John.

-Uh, vanilla.

-Vanilla?

-Uh, yeah, vanilla.

-Vanilla, like, ice cream?

-Um, you know,

I'm not, I'm not really sure.

Mom just said we needed some.

-Here you go, John.

It's for cooking.

- This is Ted rath

with an update

on the Clayton

killer situation.

Now this reporter

has discovered there is

an Emmet t. Openshaw

an Arizona man who disappeared

from his home

42 years ago.

He was 30 at the time.

Police found signs

of struggle

but there was no body

found at the scene.

Now the reason

this crime connects

to what's happening here

in Clayton county

is they found a similar pile

of black oil

at the crime scene.

- Good morning, Mrs. crowley,

I'm up and I thought

I could shovel

your steps for you.

Good morning, Kay.

It snowed so

I could shovel your drive

if you like, uh..

Good morning, Mrs. crowley.

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