I Believe in Unicorns Page #2

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there, little lady.

Hey.

Would you like one of them--

these here special treats?

Sure would.

Step up.

Another one.

One more.

Close your eyes.

Come on, just do it.

Fall backwards.

No way, no day.

Repeat after me:

Light as a feather,

stiff as a board.

Light as a feather,

stiff as a board.

Okay, now I want you

to tense up all your muscles.

That's right.

Light as a feather,

stiff as a board.

Light as a feather,

stiff as a board.

Light as a feather,

stiff as a board.

[Gasps]

Oh, I got you!

I got you!

Whoa.

I'm gonna get you!

I'm gonna get you.

- I am.

- No, you're not.

[Chattering]

Hey, cutie.

What are you doing?

[Laughing, chattering]

Wait up.

[Animal growling]

[Davina]

So my mom used to tell me

this story about the cicadas.

They live underground.

They live underground

for 17 years.

[Sterling] Wow, that's cool.

[Davina] That's older than me.

[Sterling]

That is older than you.

[Davina] And then one day

they burst out of the ground

and they flock to the trees

and they mate.

[Sterling] Nice.

[Davina] And then

they go back underground

and they do it all over again.

Hey, mom.

I just wanted to let

you know that I'm okay.

Flap, flap, flap.

Flap like birds.

What are you doing?

Making crop circles?

Crop angels.

So tell me, Sterling,

what did you think of Davina

when you first met her?

Davina who?

Ow. Oh, that Davina?

Um,

I pretty much thought she was

the most beautiful girl

I've ever seen.

I thought, "this girl belongs"

inside of a fairy tale."

And was it love at first sight?

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

You know,

they say only a virgin

can tame a unicorn.

Sounds like maybe it could be

the other way around.

Do you think we'll be happier

when we get there?

Where?

Anywhere but here.

[Davina humming]

What's that for?

Nothing.

[Upbeat song playing]

So have you decided yet?

What?

What you want to be

when you grow up.

What are you talking about?

I am grown up.

You know what I mean.

Um... hmm.

Well, I'm gonna go

on tour with my band.

I don't know. Make $100 million.

No big deal.

Maybe I can take

all your band photos.

[Imitates camera clicking]

Here you go, sweetie.

King me, babe.

How about I queen you instead?

Either way, you're going down.

Oh. All right, all right.

[Upbeat music playing]

Which of these girls

is not like the other?

Which of these girls

does not belong?

Which of them has

no sister or brother?

Which one of these girls

is just plain wrong?

it's electric...

[Disco song playing]

Come on.

you can't see it

it's electric

you've got to feel it

it's electric

ooh, it's shocking

it's electric

she's a-moving like electric,

she sure got the boogie

you've got to know it

it's electric,

boogie-woogie-woogie

and you can't hold it

it's electric,

boogie-woogie-woogie...

hey.

Come on.

Eww, your breath stinks.

That's not very nice.

What, you can't take the truth?

Well, you can be honest

without being rude.

Come on, you're just

being sensitive.

Well, you're just trying

to make me feel bad

so you'll feel better

about yourself.

What's that supposed to mean?

You're gonna end up

just like your father.

Hey, shut up.

- You're probably already just like him.

- Stop.

- You're just like him.

- Shut up.

What, are you gonna hit me?

I'm sorry.

I just get embarrassed

about things like that.

Want some gum?

Yeah, I want some gum.

[Davina] What do you

expect to find out there?

[Sterling] I don't know.

There's nothing but

endless telephone wires

stretched between towns.

[Davina] We can't keep

running forever, you know.

[Screeches]

[Davina] Circles made,

circles broken.

So much undone.

So much unspoken.

[Snorts]

Tshh, tshh!

Tshh!

[Imitates cymbals crashing]

'Morning, baby.

So,

where do you want to go today?

Home.

Oh, come on.

You're just grumpy

'cause you're hungry.

Yeah, I guess.

See that?

That's your life line.

And that's your heart line.

And here's where you met me.

Cool.

[Man] There you go.

Hey, this is mine.

I got that for you.

Davina, seriously,

haven't you eaten enough?

What's the matter?

Come on.

Could you do me a favor?

Will you stop being so

cute when you're sad?

Come on.

Yeah, okay.

[Davina] Welcome to the future.

It's just like the present,

but more f***ed up.

[Gasps]

[Engine roaring]

[Tires screech]

Come on, come on.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, this

is what we're gonna do.

You be the lookout.

I'll grab the keys, okay?

- Okay. Okay.

- Okay? All right.

What do I do if she wakes up?

I don't know.

Whistle or something.

I can't whistle.

Then think of something else,

but, shh, be quiet like a cat.

Okay.

Meow.

[Davina humming]

[Giggling]

Do you think the tattoos

will glow in the dark?

I don't know.

Light up the unicorn.

Oh, cool.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

All right.

Once upon a time there was

a Princess named Davina.

And she lived in a tower

on top of the dark castle

under the control

of an evil witch.

Davina, do the laundry.

Davina, do the dishes.

Then one day a handsome

prince named Sterling

galloped into town

on a blue unicorn

and slay the dragon

and rescued the Princess

and carried her away.

And they lived

happily ever after.

And formed a rock 'n' roll band

and rocked out every night.

And every day?

Yes, and every day.

Will you lie on top

of me and squish me?

Yes.

Can I ask you

something personal?

Yeah, sure.

Do you really like me,

or is it only temporary?

You're so beautiful.

And smart.

Yes, and smart.

I was just about to say smart.

And beautiful?

Uh-huh, smart and beautiful.

Don't I taste all sweaty?

Mm-hmm.

Like a salt lick.

Oops, I think my shirt fell off.

Yes, I think it did.

Oh, no.

Oh, you dirty dog, you.

You think you can pull

the wool over my eyes?

You can't pull the wool

over my eyes.

Ow. I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna get you.

Where is she? Where did she go?

Where is she? There she is.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

What are you doing?

Don't you ever f***ing

hit me like that again.

[Roars]

[Neighs]

Hey, Davina.

Wake up.

Come on, we've got to go.

- Do you have nothing to say?

- Just f***ing drop it.

You hurt everyone around you.

- You're gonna be all alone, just like your father.

- Stop.

- All you do is bring people down.

- F***ing shut up.

Stop!

Just f***ing stop it.

Stop! I want to get out.

Let me out.

Davina.

This is ridiculous.

Just get back in the car.

Come on, Davina.

Where are you gonna go? You're

in the middle of nowhere.

Davina, wait up.

Come on, this is ridiculous.

[Davina] I think I

want to go home.

What are you trying to say?

Are you trying

to break up with me?

No.

I just need

to figure some stuff out first.

Are you serious?

I'm sorry.

Stop f***ing hurting me.

Stop.

You're scaring me.

Please calm down, okay?

I'm sorry.

[Grunting]

[Neighs]

[Davina] There's so

much I want to say.

But I don't know where to start.

Maybe when I learn to breathe,

we'll finally be able to talk.

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