I Can Do Bad All By Myself Page #9

You're drinking,

smoking yourself to death.

Your father dies of liver cancer.

You don't love yourself

the way I love you.

What?

I said that I love you.

What? Like a...?

Like a friend, like a buddy?

Like a pal or something?

No, April, I don't wanna make love

to my buddies and my pals.

I'm in love with you.

I'm ready to love you...

...but you have to be ready

to give it back the right way.

I wanna learn...

...how to love the right way.

Will you show me?

I'll show you.

That's right.

Can't hold my girl down.

Because she a good woman, y'all.

Y'all ready?

There you have it.

I'm still with you, my sisters.

My troubled sisters.

I still got problems too.

You're not alone.

He's slow.

Elevator don't go

all the way up there.

The lights is on at the mall--

Oh, no, no.

The mall is open

but ain't nobody shopping.

You ain't gonna eat?

You gotta learn how to talk

in the real world.

When people ask if you slow,

you say:

"Do you ride the big bus

or the little bus?"

-Don't know what I'm talking about?

-No.

Okay, fine, yeah.

I believe

you're on the little bus too.

Go ahead, boy. You funny.

You the next....

Who that? Tyler Perry!

You the next Tyler Perry, man.

I'm telling you, you funny.

I love that Madea.

He's slow. The mall's open

but ain't nobody shopping.

What are you talking about?

The elevator don't go

all the way up to the top floor.

The car is running

but ain't no engine.

Are you okay?

I'm-- No, hell, I'm fine.

Is he okay? I'm just trying to--

Boy, maybe you're a little slow too.

Maybe your book

ain't got no pages in the middle.

Your grandma went to work for

four days and ain't ever come back?

-Yeah.

-I know what she do for a living.

What?

Well, I'll tell you

when you get a little older.

There's a reason women disappear

for four days and come back.

The looks he give me are priceless.

Okay, keep going.

Shut your mouth.

-She never, never came back?

-Yup.

I wouldn't have come back either

trying to feed him.

I hate you.

Manny, eat your food and shut up.

Yeah, you better eat it, because

I'm getting ready to choke you out.

Yeah, they can talk to me.

Where's your mama?

Say something else to me.

I dare you to say something to me.

Say one more-- Say one more thing.

I dare you, I dare you.

Ugly.

Leave him alone.

Eat.

What you laughing at, Freddie?

They're lying.

I can still hear you, you know.

Mabel, I'm gonna beat him down.

Will you shut up?

-Who the hell you talking to?

-Get your hands off me.

-Back up.

-Who the hell you talking to?

-On mark.

-Stop laughing.

Turn right here.

The camera's rolling.

Get out the way, crackhead.

-I can't work like this.

-That'll be cut, we're good.

Maybe she was hungry.

Hungry, April?

I mean, is that a reason to steal?

No.

Even more,

she was caught stealing needles.

Wow, did you hear my stomach?

Yeah, you don't feed me around here.

I'm hungry!

Here we go. Go one more time.

You touch us again,

I'm gonna call 911 this time.

You call 91 1, honey.

They don't scare me.

I call 91 1. I will call them for you.

I will ask them over here.

I won't ask them to send the police...

...or Child Welfare. I will ask them

to straight up send a ambulance.

Cough again. Cough one more time.

Hell, I'm trying to learn these lines...

...but she over there

coughing off-camera.

And I'm trying to do a scene.

What the hell I'm supposed to do?

Come here.

Come here, bring me the book now.

Bring me the book.

I need to see where the hell I am.

Come here.

Now, give me the lines.

"But when I shove it down your throat,"

would that be a good one?

Say it like I say it.

-But when I shove it down your throat.

-Okay, now settle down.

When I shove it down your throat....

There's a letter in here for you.

From Mama Rose.

To me?

-You wanna read it?

-No.

-No, you read it.

-Me?

Yeah.

"Dear April.

If you're reading this,

I'm probably past my suffering.

April, my dearest child...

...you are beautiful,

bright and brilliant.

If you're ever nominated

for an Academy Award...

...be humble about it.

Remember the people

that helped you along the way.

Props, Hair, Makeup, Wardrobe...

...Grips, Electricians,

Camera, Sound...

...script and most of all

Mr. Tyler Perry."

I knew that one was coming.

I knew that was coming.

"And, April, if you're ever walking

from your trailer...

...and you see an airplane, duck."

Duck. Yeah.

"Love, Mama Rose."

You know what?

Everybody just get out of here.

Good night.

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