I Know That Voice Page #7

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Well saved, a world too wide

for his shrunk shank.

Oh, that's a small shank

he's got there.

And his big manly voice.

Turning again to

a childish treble pipes

and whistles in his sound.

Last scene of all.

What, what, what?

There ends this strange,

eventful history.

Is second childishness

and mere oblivion.

- Sans teeth.

- Sans eyes.

- Sans taste.

- Sans everything.

Scene. Where's my check?

The thing I love

is when people find out

that this, you know, SpongeBob,

and the lottery scratcher guy,

and the guy from the kids' show

that their three

year old watches,

and the guy saying "side

effects may include diarrhea"

are all the same guy.

I freaking... that, to me,

that's the payback.

They go, "That's all you?"

That's all the same guy?"

you go, "Yeah. "

They go, "You're like

Where's Waldo, man",

that's like, incredible.

"You're everywhere,

yet nowhere, man. "

It's really important

in animation

to not just have one voice.

There are certainly people

that can maintain careers

with a kitsch voice or sound,

but for the people

that work a lot,

it's because they're versatile,

it's because they can

change their voice.

For the most part people

wouldn't guess that Bubbles

is the same as Terrence

from "Foster's Home"

because one is like

a very high pitched

girl like this

and the other is a dude.

I'm not a chubby cry baby.

Ooh, that's even better.

All the way in Malaysia.

They're gonna pick people

that, "Hey, can you throw in"

a cheerleader or a little boy

"or a little girl

or an old lady"

and you're just going

to work more

if you can bring another

character to life.

Versatility is the name

of the game.

The more changes

that you can make,

the more nuances,

the more characters

that you can come up with,

the better chances are

that you're getting cast.

Sign falling on Randy, action.

Ow!

Sal infuriated by

this loud space noise.

Ah, quiet!

I can't hear myself

jack hammering.

Ryan's dad.

You mean before the Y2K

turns our computers

and waffle irons against us?

I've played black guys,

I've played transvestite

prostitute robots,

I've played women aliens,

I've played so many

different kinds

of characters through

voice acting.

And it's f... it's so freeing

and it's so much fun

and I get to be broad

and I get to perform,

I get to act,

I get to live this out.

On camera... playing...

playing a black guy?

There's no way.

There's no way.

I have a project called

"Off the Curb"

it's with Mondo Media,

it's a web show that

the whole cartoon itself

is improv and it's four...

four guys on a street corner

of African-American descent

talking about whatever subject

they're talking about.

Frankenstein would whoop

Dracula's ass.

- Ah, hell no.

- No, it's the truth.

- That's ridiculous.

- That is not ridiculous.

Here's why it's ridiculous.

How is the only thing

Frankenstein got from it,

he got some metal bolts

in the neck

where Dracula would

normally bite him,

but Dracula would suck

Frankenstein dry.

Willie, that's bullshit, man.

Frankenstein would

come up on Dracula

and punch him

right in the mouth.

Gentlemen, I just need

to correct you,

it's not Frankenstein.

That's Frankenstein's monster.

The monster's name is Tomas.

You can't suck the blood out

of a man who already dead.

That's right, it's green blood.

Green blood?

So that how it started

and I thought,

about a year later,

I should get an all star cast.

Why not get black people?

Why not get real black people?

Basically that stuff

is um, animated jazz.

Nobody's louder

than John DiMaggio.

The policemen are having

the sirens ripped out

of the car

and just replaced with

John DiMaggio saying

"Slow down!"

He plays... he plays

a black character

in this thing than

we're doing and like,

there are people I love

to be mad with like,

"Man, don't do no black

character, you're insulting"

But him it's like,

"Respect, respect. "

So I've gone out

and gotten him several

black girlfriends

just off the power

of his throat alone.

He has what they call

an anteo-negro throat

in the business.

Very negro throated.

He's the blackest

white guy I know.

Hey, listen, I'm...

for one thing I'm gonna

tell you right now,

white people,

with they dogs and they yoga,

man, frustrating.

That's all I gotta say,

frustrating.

White people are frustrating.

Coming out to Hollywood

you're like, "You know what?"

No, you're not gonna do

anything and everything.

"Not all of it is... is for you. "

But with animation

you can become anything

and everything you want.

Now I love animation.

I love animation because

in the world of animation

you could be anything

you wanna be.

If you're a fat woman,

you could play

a skinny princess.

If you're a short wimpy guy,

you could play

a tall gladiator.

If you're a white man,

you could play

an Arabian prince.

If you're a black man

you could play a donkey

or a zebra.

And if you're a Filipino

Canadian,

you could play Chris Rock.

I don't know which

staunchy guys

you've had in here

that said it's difficult

I'd like to punch them all

in the throat

for saying such a thing.

It's not.

Anyone can do this immediately.

Get in your car

and drive to Los Angeles.

Get here right now

and get on the microphone,

you'll make millions of dollars

and have both white

and Asian women.

You know, we spend

98% of our time

doing the business

of doing business

like tracking down

the opportunities,

doing the auditions,

sending in the mp3s,

blah, blah, blah.

But the 2% of the time

we get to actually play

and have fun,

that's why I do it.

The hardships with

the voiceover business

if you're talent, number one,

is getting an agent.

A good agent is somebody

who's gonna get out

and try to get your name

and your voice track around

so people pay attention to you.

Hey, Don Pitts, just callin'

in to see how Casey's doing.

He was my first agent.

He'd be, "Okay, here's a spot

for Target, Jeff,"

and he'd have a little thing

and he'd have a timer

and he'd say, "And you got

60 seconds and go!"

You know, so all my...

all my readings were like,

"At Target" you have, you know?

When we cast a series

our casting director

goes to the agents and asks

them to submit their clients.

And that's how...

that's actually,

that is how it works.

Primarily my job

is to find the talent

and to narrow it down

to the top choices of people

that I feel would be best

for a part,

pass them onto my show runner,

my creator, my director,

whoever is making

those final choices,

and then work with them

to get the best people

in the booths.

We do tons and tons

and tons of auditions.

I remember back when we

were at Disney we had to do

a PowerPoint presentation

and we calculated that,

you know, we did somewhere in

the neighborhood of, you know,

5 to 15,000 auditions a year.

And I'd been there at

the time for over a decade.

I'm not a math major.

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