I Love Trouble Page #9

Okay.

Sam, stop!

I don't want to hear.

I'm not interested in Vargas anymore.

I'm off the story.

- Peterson, too?

- No, no, no. She's still on it.

You know, the girl is nuts!

She went undercover

as a Chess tour guide.

You're kidding!

I'm serious.

She got a job there.

Pete, look, look, there 's more

I wanna tell you, okay?

No, Sam, don't tempt me!

I'm not gonna get killed on a story

where I don't even get the girl.

I'm goin' back on my book tour.

I'll be in Seattle by dinner.

In a few hours, this whole thing

will be a distant memory.

Okay, don't worry about it, buddy.

And good luck on the tour.

Thanks for everything, man.

You need to have a little chat

with your personnel director.

Sabrina Peterson's

working at Chess.

Oh, Jesus.

He ain't gonna help us.

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

We hope you have enjoyed your tour, and

remember, no matter where you may live...

Chess Chemical is your neighbor,

striving for a better tomorrow today.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me.

Does this plane have a phone?

Straight ahead on the cabin wall, but you

really need to stay in your seat, sir.

- We're about to take off.

- Okay, thanks.

- What city, please?

- Uh, Madison.

The number of the capitol building.

- That's 555-4331.

- Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we'll be taking off momentarily.

Flight attendants,

please prepare for departure.

- Good evening. State Capitol.

- Yeah, Sam Smotherman.

Mr. Smotherman.

That's extension 307.

Keep it movin'.

Keep comin'.

Fine. Hold it right there.

Okay.

- How you doin', Jack?

- Okay, Bob. How are you?

Jesus! God!

What are these...

Oh, Jesus!

Too bad. But a definite A

for effort, Peterson.

Or should I call you Brackett,

Mrs. Brackett? Hmm?

I don't really care what

you call me, Smotherman.

Or should I call you

Ernesto, Mr. Vargas?

Oh, darn!

I wanted to be the one

to tell you.

You did!

A cop once told me...

Always look for the lie; that's when

the story begins to unravel.

When I asked you what year you graduated,

you gave me two different years.

I wondered why, so I looked

you up in your yearbook.

Funny thing was, you weren't in it,

not under the name Smotherman, anyway.

We were hoping you had what

we were looking for, but...

since you don't have it,

and we don't have it...

we can assume

it didn't survive the crash.

So now the only evidence

to destroy is you.

Oh, and your husband,

of course.

Fortunately,

we know exactly where he is.

- What's going on, Ted?

- Oh, Mr. Chess,

I didn't know anyone was in here.

We've got an alert

down at the loading dock.

- Go back to your station. I'll deal with it.

- Yes, sir.

Get out there.

See what's going on.

How'd you get involved

in this, Sam?

Willy wanted to get rid of Beekman, and

he thought you could get the job done?

- Something like that.

- But you botched the fire in college.

What made him think

you'd get it right this time?

I was the only bad guy he knew.

Did he pay you to hook up

with Senator Robbins?

Think I could afford

steak dinners if he didn't'?

Do me a favor, Peterson.

Sit down.

Stay with her, and watch her.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

It seems...

It seems we've got a traffic jam

in the parking lot.

I'm in no rush. As long as

we've got a couple of minutes...

What?

You want an interview?

Why not? Give a dying girl

her last wish.

Why'd you do it, Willy? Why not just

admit LDF was a flop and move on?

For ten years, Beekman and Hervey

promised me they'd iron out the kinks.

A hundred million dollars later,

they apologized, said they were wrong.

By then it was too late. I mortgaged our

company's future in this thing. It had to fly!

What were these kinks, exactly?

Well, let's put it this way. You can't

put a label on a carton of milk:

This product has been known

to cause cancer in laboratory animals.

- And Beekman was gonna blow the whistle.

- Can you imagine?

The guy screws up and then he tries to bite

the hand that feeds him? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

All right, that's it. I've had it.

Just get her out. Now!

- Willy, let's go.

- Where's he gonna take me, Sam?

- At least tell me how he's gonna do it, huh?

- No comment.

Another train crash?

Another fire?

Hey, maybe I'll get it the

old-fashioned way like Danny Brown.

Come on, Sam, you're the organ grinder

here! Tell me how this ape's gonna do it.

- Why not just show her, Mando?

- Brackett!

Brackett.

You got her? Just get her.

Stop shooting!

Lock the gates.

Don't let anyone in.

Peterson, I thought

you were one of them!

It's okay.

I'm all right. I'm fine.

What'd you come back for,

Brackett, me or the story?

- Mostly you, Peterson.

- Mostly me?

He's on the third tier!

Nice try, Mando.

Drop the gun.

Why? Are you going to shoot me

with your finger, Brackett?

There's only one way

to find out.

Any time you want to jump in,

Peterson.

- Thank you!

- You're welcome.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus!

My mother always said, you want

the job done right, do it yourself.

Whoa. Whoa.

- Peterson!

- Self-defense classes.

A must for a woman in the '90s.

Uh-huh.

- Stay there or I'll shoot.

- I don't think so.

Think again.

Mrs. Brackett,

you had it all the time.

Uh-uh-uh.

Don't touch.

Hey, Pete, do you mind

if I kill your wife?

As a matter of fact, I do.

Hang on, Peterson!

Grab on!

I got it! I got it.

Atta girl.

As Vargas shouted

his final command...

the Thin Man's eyes

measured Peterson for a coffin.

She turned, a breath away from

the barrel of his.22 automatic.

Poetry, sweetheart.

Absolute poetry!

Look who's talking. The cold metal tip

of the pistol brushed against my hair.

I looked up at the assassin. His eyes

were empty as two holes in a mask."

Honey, I got goose bumps!

You ever think

of writing a novel?

And give up the newspaper game?

Never.

Okay!

Well, I might give it a try again.

Here's my idea.

- Mmm.

- Male, female reporters solve mystery...

- fight...

- Mm-hmm.

Make up, fall in love...

save the day,

go on a honeymoon.

Sounds like a best-seller

to me.

- Darling.

- Yes, my love?

You didn't really mean it when you said our

scoundrel days were behind us, did you?

They are for me

if they are for you.

All right. I promise

to go straight if you do.

I do.

Then I do too.

Brackett, get this!

- Two guys with.385 coming right

out of that, uh, that bank.

Peterson. Peterson, sweetheart.

We're on our honeymoon.

Sorry, baby.

It slipped my mind.

Let me refresh your memory.

Uh-uh.

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