I Love You Phillip Morris Page #10

CLEAVON:

You got a tracking number, motherf***er?

PHILLIP:

No.

CLEAVON:

Then shut your f*ggot ass.

Phillip slumps back onto his bed, depressed.

PHILLIP:

Congratulations Phillip, scared off

another one.

A few moments later, he's startled by the CLANG of his

cell door sliding open.

He looks up - a CORRECTIONS OFFICER stands over him.

CORRECTIONS OFFICER

Morris - you got a new roommate.

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 38.

This is no consolation to Phillip. He heaves a heavy sigh

until he sees STEVEN enter his cell, clutching a pile of

belongings.

Phillip is overwhelmed as the cell door slams shut behind

Steven.

PHILLIP:

Oh my God. How the hell did you do this?

Steven slowly moves closer.

STEVEN:

I know a guy. I took care of it. I'm

gonna take care of everything...

Steven gently caresses Phillip's face. Phillip is

melting. Then suddenly, Phillip grabs Steven's ass.

PHILLIP:

Enough romance, let's f***.

They launch themselves onto the bunk and as they get to

business...

FADE OUT.

57 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - THAT NIGHT 57

Phillip and Steven spoon in a glowing post-coital cuddle.

PHILLIP:

And for a while I was Executive Assistant

to a Broadway Producer...

STEVEN:

Really? What's a Broadway producer doing

in Atlanta?

PHILLIP:

I didn't ask.

STEVEN:

What'd you do for him?

PHILLIP:

I mainly just rode around town in his

limo, drinking and sucking him off.

There's a moment of silence, then a realization...

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 39.

PHILLIP (CONT'D)

Now that I hear myself say it, I think he

was just some rich chicken hawk.

They get a GIGGLE out of this.

PHILLIP (CONT'D)

Oh well, he was a nice guy. I only dated

him for a little while anyway. Then I

dated this full-blooded Apache who made

me dress up like a baseball player.

STEVEN:

Apache? What was his name?

PHILLIP:

Melvin.

STEVEN:

Phillip- you amaze me.

PHILLIP:

What? He was a nice guy too.

STEVEN:

That's what I'm saying- you only see the

good.

Phillip shrugs, but before he can reply- a piercing human

SCREECH interrupts him.

STEVEN (CONT'D)

What the hell was that?

CUT TO:

58 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - SCREECHER'S CELL - NIGHT 58

The inmate who spit a loogey into the mashed potatoes in

the cafeteria is sitting up on his bed, SCREECHING at the

top of his lungs. This is "THE SCREECHER"

BACK TO:

Phillip continues to talk.

PHILLIP:

That's the Screecher next door. He does

it all night. I never get any sleep. He

drives me crazy.

STEVEN:

You poor thing. How awful...

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 40.

The Screecher continues his routine.

FADE OUT.

59 OMITTED 59

60 EXT. TEXAS STATE PEN CANTEEN, 1995 - - DAY 60

Phillip emerges from the line munching on a candy bar

when he notices a ruckus on the other side of the fence.

He wanders over to see a LARGE PRISONER beating the crap

out of the Screecher.

LARGE PRISONER:

I'm gonna cut out your motherfucking

tongue with your screeching all night.

As guards descend on the two, the Large Prisoner

continues to beat on the screeching SCREECHER.

Phillip sidles up next to a BALD PRISONER.

PHILLIP:

What does he care- he ain't in our

block...

BALD PRISONER:

Someone probably paid him.

61 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - LATER 61

Reclined on his bunk, Steven does a crossword puzzle.

Phillip enters, standing by the door.

PHILLIP:

Get up...

Steven sits up.

PHILLIP (CONT'D)

Did you pay to have the Screecher beat

up?

STEVEN:

Me?

PHILLIP:

Don't bullshit me. Did you pay to have

him beat up?

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 41.

STEVEN:

Well you said he bothered you.

PHILLIP:

Just answer me.

STEVEN:

Yeah. Yeah, I did.

PHILLIP:

Steven...

A tear comes to Phillip's eye.

PHILLIP (CONT'D)

This is the most romantic thing anyone's

ever done for me.

He clamps onto Steven and hugs with all his life.

STEVEN:

I just want you to be happy, baby.

PHILLIP:

You are so amazing!!!

And as they roll on the bed playfully...

62 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - CLEAVON'S CELL - NIGHT 62

CLEAVON lays on his cot staring at the ceiling.

Eventually a hand enters through the bars holding a

cassette tape.

PHILLIP (O.S.)

Cleavon- put this in.

CLEAVON:

No man- not now.

PHILLIP (O.S.)

It's important.

CLEAVON:

How important?

Phillip's hand disappears for a moment and comes back

with a FIVE DOLLAR BILL.

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