I Love You Phillip Morris Page #5

STEVEN (V.O.)

I mean it's not just sucking cock. It's

wardrobe, it's hair, personal trainers,

big labels, resorts, fine dining... it

goes on and on and on. So I needed money.

And for a guy without a college

education, my options were limited.

26 INT. GROCERY STORE - MIAMI, 1992 - DAY 26

Steven inexplicably pours cooking oil out onto a grocery

store aisle with a basket slung over his arm.

STEVEN (V.O.)

So I had no choice--

(beat, giddy)

I became a con man!

SLIP-WHAM! Steven throws himself in the air and falls

flat on his back with a scream.

STEVEN (V.O.)

Of course that was easy for me, every

closet case is a con anyways.

And as people gather around, he grasps his neck and moans

litigiously--

27 INT. LAW OFFICE - MIAMI, 1992 - DAY 27

OPEN CLOSE on A PARALEGAL. She opens a briefcase and

removes an envelope.

CUT TO REVEAL Steven holding crutches at his side, across

from a few LAWYERS. The paralegal hands him the envelope.

LAWYER:

Your check.

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 18.

STEVEN:

Thank you.

With great difficulty, Steven gets on his crutches and

makes his exit.

STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Now it didn't happen all at once. It was

sort of a gradual thing...

28 EXT. GROCERY RECEIVING DOCK - MIAMI, 1992 - DAY 28

An OLD WAREHOUSE MANAGER emerges from a darkened AMITY

FOODSERVICE trailer with a crate of tomatoes in hand. As

he steps out onto the dock, he passes Steven, who is

talking with a 500 pound PRODUCE MANAGER.

Tomato crates are all around.

STEVEN (V.O.)

It started with work. Tomatoes. I used to

buy low grade tomatoes in the field and

sell them to clueless chain stores as

higher grade.

PRODUCE MANAGER:

These are gorgeous. U.S-1 right?

STEVEN:

(big smile)

Finest in the land...

And as they talk-

STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)

It's called `field buying'. I could clear

three thousand dollars in a good week

doing that. But frankly it wasn't enough.

29 INT. MIAMI JEWELRY STORE - MIAMI 1992 - DAY 29

Steven stands before a SALESPERSON at a counter.

SALESWOMAN:

Cash or charge?

STEVEN:

Charge...

Steven flips through a handful of identical CREDIT CARDS.

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 19.

STEVEN (CONT'D)

(sotto)

Steven A Russell, Steven G Russell,

Steven M Russell, Doctor Steven M

Russell, Doctor Steven J Russell...

(seeing one he likes)

Ah!

He gives a card to a smiling SALESWOMAN.

SALESWOMAN:

Thank you...

(reading card)

...Mister Evans. Can I see some ID?

STEVEN:

Of course.

And as Steven riffles through an equally large stack of

DRIVER'S LICENSES...

30 INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - MIAMI 1992 - DAY 30

Steven stands atop a escalator, looking around.

STEVEN (V.O.)

But when money got really tight, the slip

and fall always came in handy.

He throws himself down the escalator, out of frame to the

floor below. Painful tumbling is heard.

At the BOTTOM of the escalator a hard THUD is heard. A

beat later, Steven's feet slide into frame.

31 INT. PALM BEACH APARTMENT - 1992 - LIVING ROOM - MORNING 31

CHRISTMAS MUSIC.

Dressed in pajamas, Steven and Kemple sit cross-legged at

the base of their Christmas Tree, surrounded by torn

paper and strewn gifts. Steven's arm is in a cast.

Kemple opens a hinged case to reveal a GOLD Rolex watch.

KEMPLE:

Oh wow...

STEVEN:

What do you think? Yes?

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 20.

KEMPLE:

Well Steven it's beautiful. It really

is.

STEVEN:

You don't like it.

KEMPLE:

No, no, no. I do.

STEVEN:

You don't like it.

KEMPLE:

I'm menstruating. Don't listen to me.

STEVEN:

Tell me what's wrong with it. Is it the

gold?

KEMPLE:

Well...

STEVEN:

That's why I got you the stainless!

He takes out another box and hands it to Kemple.

KEMPLE:

Steven!

As he opens it, Steven grabs the gold Rolex.

STEVEN:

The gold one is for me, dipshit.

Kemple smiles broadly as he admires his new watch.

The PHONE RINGS. Steven rushes to answer it.

STEVEN (CONT'D)

Merry Christmas!

32 INT. DEBBIE'S HOUSTON HOME, 1992 - MORNING - CONTINUOUS 32

Debbie, on the phone, is INTERCUT. Stephanie is in the

background, opening gifts at the base of their tree.

DEBBIE:

Merry Christmas.

STEVEN:

Hi Debbie!

"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 21.

DEBBIE:

How's Jimmy?

STEVEN:

Good. Did you get the gifts?

DEBBIE:

Well that's why I'm calling...

CUT WIDE to reveal a GIFT BOX FILLED WITH STACKS OF CASH.

STEVEN:

You're welcome!

DEBBIE:

I can't keep this.

STEVEN:

Why not?

DEBBIE:

Well... it's not Christian.

STEVEN:

Not Christian? Why's that?

DEBBIE:

This is not what the Lord wants.

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