I Promised to Pay

TAPE RECORDER VOICE:

Help! Bandits! Help!

ALARM SOUNDS:

TAPE RECORDER VOICE:

Help! Bandits! Help!

TAPE RECORDER VOICE:

Bandits! Help!

It's quite alright, men. We're just

trying out a new security device.

You can turn it off now.

Switch it off, Frank.

- Gives 'em quite a turn, doesn't it?

Remarkable, Mr Parker.

Absolutely remarkable!

There isn't a thief alive

that can crack our system.

Try to break into the van -

it sets off the automatic tape

and it's impossible to drive off unless

my partner operates the dual controls

and he's locked in,

so no one can get at him.

I tell you, Mr John -

your payroll's as safe with us

as it is in the bank.

A hundred thousand quid, eh?

Well, it's far too good

for the poor people!

Same route as three weeks ago.

These boys are in a rut.

We could out-run them -

even in this hearse.

I dunno - I don't like it.

Too damn la-di-da about it.

They've got guns, that's why,

ain't it, Monty?

Well, they don't worry me none -

I'm on National Health.

Oh, this is the spot that

always makes me feel nervous.

What a pushover!

Wonder nobody's ever pulled it before!

That's it for today, boys.

Mmm?

- Why does...

HARRY:

Jackie?

I'm up here, darling. Come on up.

HARRY:

We've done it!

It's as good as fixed.

HARRY:

Hello, you two!

Hi.

- Oh, mind, darling. She'll fall.

Aren't you pleased?

- Yes, of course I'm ple...

Oh, Jeremy, you'll be sick!

Look, get that soap from him, will you?

You don't seem the least bit excited, Jackie.

- Of course I'm excited darling...

...but these kids have been

absolute little beasts all day.

Susan went and fell into

your precious manure heap...

...which is why I'm bathing her early.

Hey, come on, sit up, huh?

Wheee!

HARRY:

It'll make us, you know.

Oh, mind, darling,

he's just had his tea.

Sorry. If we do alright with Kneales...

...we'll soon get the other

big companies interested...

...and Kneales alone is practically enough

to double our income.

How do you make that out?

Well, you see, we get paid a commission

on the amount we handle.

And Kneales' payroll is well over

a hundred thousand pounds.

Aren't you scared?

- Why should we be?

Why, if it was a hundred million

it would be just as safe with us.

What d'you want to meet

in a place like this for?

Did you get it out

of the telly or something?

I thought it was a good idea.

You said it was dangerous.

Oh, blimey, I thought you accountants

had to have brains to keep your jobs.

Well, you want to try using 'em.

Two cars parked in a layby -

two blokes sitting in one of 'em -

somebody sees 'em and thinks at once

'Hello, I wonder what they're up to'.

Start driving. We'll talk while we drive.

Next time we meet, you bring your missus

and I'll have some bint in tow.

And while they're having a bit of a natter,

you and I can say our piece.

There isn't going to be a next time.

It's all off.

You trying to b*tch me?

No - it's out of my hands!

They've taken me off the wages run.

Why?

Because they're putting in a whole new

system - it's an armoured van.

It's a tank on wheels.

They demonstrated it for us this morning.

It's got everything.

Steel enforced, bullet proof,

police radio hook-up, everything.

It's - oh, it's foolproof.

- Nothing's foolproof.

When does this van

start on the run?

Maybe in time for next Friday.

I don't know for sure.

Look, I could contact you if they decide

to hold it over another week -

and then next Friday...

- Not a chance.

Why not?

- Because it stinks!

The final day of the old system?

It'd have 'inside job' written all over it.

That's true.

You needn't think it's because of you!

It's not! It's for me.

They start to put any real pressure on you,

and you'd crack.

Right - now who was who sold

your Mr John this bill of goods?

A fellow called Parker.

- Parker?

Right. Well, if we decide to take on

this Parker lad's outfit

Kneales needn't really come into it at all.

No, it could be that

we got on to Parker direct.

Yeah, I like that...

it confuses things.

Yeah, the more I think about it,

the better I like it.

You mean you'll take on an armoured van?

- Why not?

Do you think I'm going

to let this stop me?

Not me. I've worked on this too long.

Nothing's going to stop me now, nothing.

All right. Then you do it without me.

Now listen - we don't need you!

It's better if we have you,

but if we don't, we don't.

But God help you, Pearson,

if we come unstuck!

'Cause I'll put the finger on you,

sure as fate

and you won't even have had

a penny piece out of it.

WIRELESS PLAYS:

FRENCH ACCENT:
You're late.

- Er... yes, I'm sorry.

Is anything the matter?

- No... no, nothing.

You're nervous.

Er... you're imagining things.

- My foreign blood again, I suppose.

Er, what would you say if I said

we'd go for a holiday to Majorca this year?

I'd laugh.

- No, no, no, I'm serious.

I'd laugh. Ha ha ha ha.

Like that.

Now go on and say we're going

for a holiday in Majorca this year.

I don't see what's so

ridiculous about the idea.

No! Nor do I!

I think it's a marvellous idea.

But what do we use for money?

- I...

I can get the money,

it's as good as fixed.

Do you see my scissors anywhere?

- To hell with your scissors.

Aren't you even interested?

- No.

Oh, for crying out loud!

- That's right! For crying out loud.

I'm not in the least bit interested.

And shall I tell you why?

Look, all I said was...

- Because I've heard it before.

All the things you were going to do for me -

when I was a silly young girl.

And out of three occupying armies,

I chose you to marry!

You were going to get

a senior post at Kneales -

only they gave it to someone else.

I told you at the time...

- You were going to start up in business

with - what's his name -

only it never came off!

Look, that was his fault, not mine!

- It's always somebody else's fault!

You think I like sitting up

half the night, making dresses?

You think I get a kick when I've managed

to save up enough to pay the gas bill?

Well, I don't. Do you hear me?

I don't!

When you get the money -

show it to me.

I don't want to hear about it -

just show it to me.

I want to see it,

feel it, smell it, spend it!

Do you understand? Spend it!

Don't worry. I'll get it.

Bravo!

DOOR SLAMS:

An armoured van!

Well, that's that then.

We can write the whole thing off,

if that's the case.

Blackie?

Well, if Bert won't go it,

what do you expect me to do?

What's the matter, does he do your thinking

for you, as well as run you around here?

Look, if it's like you said, it seems to me

we don't have the option, Johnny.

Look, they've thought of everything.

We - we'd be bashing our heads

against a brick wall.

Anyway, it's all right for you lot

but I've done time...

...and I don't mean to do any more

if I can help it.

BERT:

Look, you'd have to do your nut...

...to start knocking flippin' armoured

cars around, I can tell you that, mate.

You're all of the same mind, are you?

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