I Sell The Dead Page #6

Synopsis: 18th century justice catches up with a pair of grave robbers. With only a few hours to go before his date with the guillotine, Arthur Blake tells his life story to Father Francis Duffy. Before long, Arthur spills the beans on how he got started in the grim corpse peddling business with seasoned ghoul Willie Grimes.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Glenn McQuaid
Production: IFC Films
  1 win & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
62
Rotten Tomatoes:
72%
NOT RATED
Year:
2008
85 min
Website
51 Views


If we stay here, we're as good as dead.

He wasn't so hard, was he?

Come on.

We don't have all day.

Not everyone is the boss of me.

Hey, come on.

Let's just get it over with.

Willie.

Willie!

What now?

Get the yokes out of the

crate and into the cage.

I suppose they're just gonna line up

and waltz in there of their own accord.

Hey, look at this.

What are we supposed to do with that?

Put it in their mouths.

Stop 'em from biting us.

Look, we'll open up the crates.

When they jump out, we'll

shove this in their mouth.

Put 'em in the cage.

We'll fill up the cage,

anchor the cage to the boat,

drag 'em back to the mainland.

Won't they drown?

Come on, boys.

There's nothing to worry about.

You got it?

Ready? Careful.

All right.

What's happening?

It's horrible.

Arthur?

There's a foot in here.

Very bloody odd.

A foot.

That's not gonna

fetch much at market,

is it Willie?

A foot?

Bloody hell.

Hmm.

Hmph.

Get it off me!

Darling.

I got it!

Get him off me!

Get him still!

You okay?

What's it bloody well look like?

What the bleeding

hell are you laughing at?

That thing nearly killed me.

It called you darling,

did you hear that?

I think you've got a

new friend there, Willie.

What if I got infected?

What if I'm... what if I'm infected?

What if I turn into one of those things?

Come on, calm down.

It's just... let's have a look.

Looky there.

Oh, go on, laugh it up.

Well, you know, it's pretty...

One, two, three, four, and five.

I reckon that's five

dead I'm selling tonight.

Go on, get out of it.

I blame all of this on you, Arthur.

Me?

No one dragged you here.

You and that Fanny have ruined me.

That bite has me all peculiar.

Don't bring poor old Fanny into it.

What are we gonna do now?

I have a backup plan.

No.

No.

Ha.

Bugger this.

Excuse me, Mr. Murphy.

Perhaps we can come to

some sort of arrangement?

I like the arrangement

we have now, Arthur Blake.

You tied to that cage,

as I strap it to me boat

and drag you along the seabed

for the journey home.

I just thought you

might need an extra man

now that you're down Mr. Bulger and all.

I'd rather sell your wet corpse.

Arthur, you weasel.

Just go along with me.

A rat leaving a sinking ship, is it?

That's the one.

Very honorable.

Now, where was the honor in

trying to rob me of me loot

and going and killing

my good mate Bulger?

Oh, well, it wasn't really the

intention, you see, Cornelius.

We was just trying to

make a few quid is all.

Tell me, Mr. Blake,

do you like your trade?

I suppose so.

It's a bit messy, isn't it?

Well, let me tell you.

I love this trade, Mr. Blake.

And I come from a very

long line of ghouls.

So you see, I take a great

deal of pride in what I do.

So when a sleveen like

yourself comes along

and thinks he can cross me,

well, then,

that's when I get angry, Mr. Blake.

And Grimes...

you should have known better.

Whoa, now, Cornelius,

don't be like that.

I was just along for the salt air.

Valentine.

Why don't you show 'em your face.

Oh, Willie!

Willie! Willie!

Let's go, let's go.

Are you two gonna kiss and make up?

'Cause I don't want a ruckus in here,

not before midnight.

What're you looking at?

You was gonna turn

your back on old Willie.

No, I was just saying that.

I had a plan.

A plan.

You was all set to

join the House of Murphy

and forget about me.

Me, who taught you everything.

Well, I had to say something.

What do you want from me?

Very, very disappointed

in you, Arthur.

Oh, you're disappointed?

- Yeah.

- Well, likewise.

And what about poor old Fanny?

Hmph, Fanny.

That daft cow.

She got what she deserved.

Is that all you can say?

Well, it was all her idea.

Or was it?

You know, she always

said you were a coward.

She said I should go it alone.

Well, you are going it alone, mate.

Enough is enough.

Fine.

Great, good riddance.

Fine, then.

You know, I'll probably do a

lot better on my own, I think.

- Fine.

- Get out!

- Fine.

- Get out.

Fine.

Good night, sir.

Get the f*** out of my bar.

And that's how me and Willie left it,

arguing like a pair of old women.

What a way to end one

of the great friendships.

A week went by, here I am.

But you killed Cornelius Murphy?

Not my style, Father.

Well, then it was Grimes

that struck him down.

It was Fanny that did the killing.

We just left Cornelius

and Valentine to it.

So you just left him to die?

Oh, aye.

Now here I am, an innocent

man waiting for the guillotine.

Oh, none of us is

innocent, Mr. Blake.

And I've listened to

your tales, and you're...

you're far from innocent.

In fact, I think the

guillotine is too good for you.

Grimes was lucky to have avoided me.

Well...

it's very nice to make your

acquaintance, Mr. Murphy.

You must be a little

disappointed in your son.

All that training,

and he gets struck down by two commoners

like Grimes and myself.

You're not common, Mr. Blake.

In fact, you're quite rare.

It's not every day you meet someone

who's about to spend the

rest of their days in agony.

You best hurry up so.

I'll be under the

blade in a few minutes.

No.

You won't be seeing the guillotine.

You're not as lucky as your friend.

I've made other arrangements for you.

You little bastard.

You do not disrespect

the House of Murphy.

Do you hear me?

You little bastard!

This is how it ends, Arthur Blake.

You pup.

You little pup.

This is how it ends for you.

I'll open you!

Do it, then.

Do it!

Your son was an awful prick.

A prick.

You little bastard.

You little bastard!

Oy!

- Willie.

- Arthur.

You're undead.

That bite on the island

has me all supernatural.

It took me ages to find me head.

It's a... it's a bit disconcerting.

Well, I thought he had me there.

Oh, he cut you up something horrible.

Well, it's great to see you.

I thought you were

sick of the sight of me.

Ah, no bother.

You look like shite, Willie.

Oh.

Well, it's a good thing I went first,

or else you'd be a dead man.

There you go.

Ah, here we are.

Oh, that's one I owe you.

Fancy him, coming after us.

Yeah, I know.

Said he was a priest.

Had me going there for a while.

Mad bastard.

Well, he'd fetch us

a few quid, you reckon?

Let's get out of here.

Ooh.

Hey, that's mad, you being undead.

Oh, uh, are you any good at sewing?

Ha.

So you're like a cat, then?

Nine lives.

Oh, I figure it

will keep on happening.

But here's what we should do.

We should go down to Langols Island

and find one of them yokes

and have it take a

little nibble out of you.

No, thanks.

Oh, it's the best thing

that ever happened...

Whoa.

You okay?

I tell you what, I'll think about it.

Hey, you're not gonna get all

cannibalistic on me, are you?

Ah, no.

It's the best thing

that ever happened to me.

Mind you...

I am feeling a bit peckish.

I'll take you down to The Fortune,

get you some supper.

Oh, it's a different

kind of hunger, Arthur.

Oh, aye?

I'm ravenous, Arthur.

Me?

Give us a nibble.

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Glenn McQuaid

Glenn McQuaid (born 1972/1973) is an Irish film director. He is known for his feature film debut I Sell The Dead and his involvement in the audio play anthology series Tales From Beyond the Pale, both of which were produced by frequent collaborator Larry Fessenden's Glass Eye Pix. He has also directed a segment of anthology horror film V/H/S. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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