I Spy

This is Helo 1. I have

visual confirmation on Hodaddy.

Still negative on our bad boy.

Repeat. Still negative on the pickup.

Heading for rendezvous

at LZ Alpha Echo.

All right, where are you, Percy?

Come on. Come on.

Wait a second. There's our turncoat.

For crying out loud.

Special Agent Scott.

Mac here.

Tell me you found that pilot.

Absolutely. He's right here.

- Here you go.

- Is he alive?

Yeah, he's okay.

Don't screw this up, Alex.

I want him in one piece.

Consider it done.

- You okay?

- No, my leg's broken!

You got ice on it right away.

That should help.

Let's go before the Russians

get here.

Hey, let me ask you something.

What'd you do with that plane

that you stole?

Here they come.

I'm not talking until you get me out.

- Is that right?

- Yeah.

All right, let's go.

God! Okay! Gundars!

I sold the plane to Arnold Gundars.

Now get me out of here!

Get up.

Hurry! The American pilot

has escaped!

Search the woods!

He must be in the woods!

What is this?

Stalin's butt!

He tricked us!

- They're coming!

- I got it.

No, I don't.

Fire!

You okay?

Ladies and gentlemen,

now making his way to the ring...

...really needing no introduction

the world over, he is undefeated...

...with 56 wins, no losses...

...here is the one and only...

...Kelly "K. O." Robinson!

When I say break, break clean.

Keep those punches up high.

I'm fair, but I'm firm.

You'll have your first

Sports Illustrated cover.

Even though you'll be on it like this:

- We'll see who looks like that.

- Touch them up.

Yeah, sh*t.

He's scary as hell, ain't he?

Kelly Robinson has come up with

an exotic new challenge for himself.

If he defends his title tonight...

...he'll do it again Thursday

in Budapest, Hungary.

I know what this means.

I know what this mean

when you do that.

And Lirette is on queer street.

You know what's gonna

happen now, right?

Boy, fight now! What you doing?

Kelly's getting frustrated

because Lirette won't fight.

I'll give you a free shot.

I won't chase you around the ring.

Take a shot at this here.

Don't be scared. I'll close my eyes.

How about that?

Three! Four!

Five! Six!

Seven! Eight! Nine!

Ten! You're out!

Warm up the goulash in Budapest.

Kelly Robinson is coming.

I told you. Hold on. Come on,

get this shot for Sports Illustrated.

Cheese.

Yeah.

Yeah, 57 and 0. Gonna be 58 and 0

in couple of days.

Put infinity on there because

I'll never lose.

I know what you saying.

You better retire. You gonna

run out of space on that arm.

Jerry, you ain't got to do that.

You been my boy for 10 years.

Don't blow smoke up my ass.

Get your head out my ass.

- Head's out the ass.

- Relax, man.

Yeah, seriously, Jerry.

That's pathetic.

You've only worked three years.

Keep your head where it's at.

- Now, about the drawers.

- Yeah.

I think I got some drawers

your size made of licorice.

Hello, sir. Yes, right. Hold on, sir.

Kelly.

- Kelly!

- Yeah? What's going on?

It's the president.

Really?

President of the United States.

The president want to talk

to Kelly Robinson.

- Mr. President?

- What"s up, homey?

- What's up?

- What"s up, dog?

- It's all good. How you doing?

- Kicking with Putin.

G.W.B., you should've called

when the cameras was on.

- My bad. I got a mucho hush-hush.

- All right.

Hear you"re going to Budapest. We

got us a muy secret-o situation.

- Really?

- America needs your help.

- No problem.

- We need a little civilian cover.

- You got it, baby.

- Owe you one.

- All right, I'll talk to you real soon.

- I will not forget...

President want me to do him a favor.

He said something

about America needs me.

- What kind of favor?

- Some kind of top-secret mission.

Oh, you mean like 007?

Yeah, except only I'm

gonna be 009 and a half.

Know what I'm saying? 007. You

know what 009 and a half means?

- I think so.

- It's an innuendo.

- You're going to Budapest?

- Yes, I am. Kind of exciting.

- I'm a little nervous.

- I'm sure you'll do fine.

No, I know I will.

That's got a kick to it.

This is my first chance to work

with Special Agent Rachel Wright.

Rachel. You're still hung up on her?

Edna, I'm not hung up on her.

I find her interesting,

and I admire her work.

There's a certain allure she has.

You know, a blind man could

see that.

Well, why don't you tell her?

I will tell her. It's just, I get nervous,

and I end up sounding like an idiot...

Want me to tell you how

to melt Rachel's heart?

- Yeah.

- Talk to Carlos.

What does that mean?

They had a thing?

Two-week stakeout.

She could barely walk.

Rachel and Carlos?

You called, Edna?

You are a vision, as always.

Hello, Alex.

Hello, Carlos. How was Cuba?

Adequate.

Oh, adequate, my eye.

He single-handedly averted

another Bay of Pigs.

- No, I didn't...

- Yes.

- You exaggerate.

- Oh, well, I...

- You do exaggerate sometimes.

- Okay, at times, yeah.

And you, Alex?

How did you fare in the tundra?

You know, I did pretty good.

I got selected for a new mission, so

obviously everybody was satisfied.

And the pilot?

The pilot...

Was able to talk to him, get some

valuable information from him.

Successful mission.

Alex, you didn't go and get

him killed, now, did you?

No, no, no. I mean...

You know, sort of. I mean...

Yeah, he's dead.

He's dead.

What are you gonna do?

- Let me tell you something, Alex.

- Yeah.

You're an excellent agent.

Don't let results like this fool you.

All right?

My car. Be back for my things later.

See you, Carlos. La vida loca!

What a phony.

I'd give anything to go on

a two-week stakeout with that man.

What happened on the stakeout

between him and Rachel?

- I didn't hear anything.

- It's not what I heard, it's what I saw.

It's what I saw.

I saw the look on her face.

Every woman recognizes that look.

- What's that look?

- Look of total satisfaction.

Guy gets a couple missions in Latin

America, and he's a Julio Iglesias.

You know, he's from Iowa,

by the way.

You know, he's from Iowa,

by the way.

- Is this my stuff?

- Oh, easy.

This is Carlos' stuff. This is yours.

Where's my monofilament

phone descender?

I didn't get one of these exploding

pagers. I don't see one of those.

You got the micro GPS.

Micro?

This is your spy-cam.

This is Carlos' spy-cam,

and this is my spy-cam?

Look at the size of this thing!

Size matters.

But in the spy world, it's reversed.

You want people to say, "Look how

small and sexy and sleek this is. "

Not, "How huge this is! Look what he

pulled out of his pants. It's huge!"

People will laugh at me if I pull this

out. Is that his escape module?

Yes, it is. I know, everybody wants

to be like Carlos.

I don't want to be like Carlos,

but I notice...

...my stuff looks like you can get it

from RadioShack in 1972.

Yes, it is.

Right away.

All right, we'll finish this later.

It's a good start, though.

Kelly Robinson, seen here making

his typical flamboyant entrance...

Shouldn't this be on the

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