I Wake Up Screaming Page #2

Lady Handel invited me

over to her table.

I met all the big shots, danced

with all the good-looking young men.

I've just got dozens

and dozens of invitations.

Invitations to do what?

- I'm never going back to

that rotten old restaurant job.

- What?

Why should I? Now I realize

I've been wasting my time.

- I can be somebody.

- Vicky, you're not serious

about giving up your job?

Of course. Why should I go on slinging hash

when I can sling other things?

Vicky Lynn, have you gone

right out of your mind?

No, I haven't. I've just come

to my senses. That's all.

Frankie Christopher thinks I have

a great career before me.

- Who's Frankie Christopher?

- Oh, Jill, everyone knows Frankie Christopher.

- He's a famous sports promoter.

- What does he want you to do?

Roller-skate or go over Niagara Falls

in a barrel?

Jill, I already have an offer to pose for

a magazine cover and a cigarette ad-

Vicky, wait a minute. When Mom died,

we promised we'd look out for each other.

Don't you think you're making

a fool of yourself?

- What do you mean?

- This Frankie Christopher.

People like that, what have they got

to do with people like us?

- Jill, they're going to help me.

- In what way?

They're gonna

glamorize me.

They may have started this thing

as a gag, but after taking one look...

at those million-dollar

debutantes tonight...

I realized I can give them cards in spades

and still come out on top.

Vicky, you'll never come out

on top by any shortcut.

One week, your face is on the cover

of a magazine; the next, it's in the ash can.

I know I sound stuffy. Gee,

I like a good time as well as the next.

Jill, you're terribly sweet,

but, well, we are different.

I know the things I want,

and I know how to get them.

So stop worrying

about me, huh?

Okay.

What you need now is sleep. If you lose

your looks, you've lost your bankroll.

Good night.

[Man] When was the first time

you met Frankie Christopher?

It was the following morning.

I was cooking breakfast-

[Knocking]

- Vicky, I think he's here.

- [Vicky] Okay. I'm putting on a dress.

- Is Miss Lynn in?

- Which Miss Lynn?

The glamour girl, or just the plain,

ordinary garden variety?

- Ohh, you're her sister.

- You're quick.

- I'm Frankie Christopher.

- That's what I was afraid of.

- May I come in?

- Sure.

Course, this is just a dump,

but if you can find a place to sit down-

Say, why all the cracks?

You don't know anything about me yet.

I don't know anything about art,

but I know what I like.

What's the idea of handing Vicky this line

about making her a big shot?

That's no line. I believe it sincerely.

After all, that's my business...

discovering talent

and trying to put it across.

Here. Take a look

at that.

Hmm. Feeding time

at the zoo.

- Where are you?

- I don't believe in having my picture taken.

That's for those I'm trying to put across.

I just stay in the background, where I belong.

- Modest, aren't you?

- Not particularly.

It's just a superstition,

that's all.

- [Vicky] Is that Frankie?

- Yes, dear.

Hold him for me, Jill.

Don't let him get away.

You come out

and do your own holding.

- Good morning, Frankie.

- That's a nice dress you've put on.

From that moment on, life became

just one great, dizzy world for her.

She was asked everywhere.

She got offers to pose for advertisements...

model clothes, join the ice ballet,

every possible form of publicity.

She even remembered the singing lessons

Mom had paid for...

and suddenly started

to fancy herself as a chanteuse.

Frankie even managed to get her a job

singing with a name band.

Finally, one morning,

things came to a climax.

I wonder what's keeping him.

I left a message hours ago.

Why, Jill, what are you

getting so excited about?

Nothing. Except he's going

to be awfully mad.

- Don't worry. I can handle him.

- Glad you think so.

- I wouldn't be in your shoes

for all the gold in Kentucky.

- [Knocking]

- Do you think that's him?

- Uh-huh. I know his knock. Come in.

- What's up?

- Well, it's not exactly going to be a wedding.

I'm sorry.

I was up all night.

Darling, something terrible

has happened. I-

I don't quite know how to tell you,

it's so embarrassing, but-

Of course I realize everything

you've done for me, but, well...

life is so uncertain

nowadays, isn't it?

- Get to the point.

- Well, I-

- I'm going away.

- Away? Where?

I couldn't help it, really I couldn't.

I just happened to run into this man, and-

Purely business,

you understand.

- Where are you going?

- To Hollywood.

Hollywood?

As I said, I just happened to run into this man,

and he wanted to make a screen test.

I didn't see any harm in it,

so I said yes.

I didn't wanna tell you in case it

turned out badly. I wanted to surprise you.

But it turned out simply wonderfully,

and I've signed a long-term contract.

- When are you going?

- I leave tomorrow night.

- Congratulations.

- Oh, now, Frankie, wait a minute. I-

Look, I've always been

on the level with you, haven't I?

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Oh, Frankie, I know what you're thinking.

After all, you did take me out of the restaurant,

introduce me to the right people...

and that sort of thing, but, well,

I have some brains too.

It was me

they were interested in.

Some people think I'm a very attractive girl.

You didn't create that.

- I'm no Frankenstein, you know.

- I wonder.

- [Knocking]

- Come in.

Robin, Larry,

how sweet of you both to come.

- What's the matter? What happened?

- Are you all right?

- I came as soon as I got your message.

- Dear Robin, dear Larry-

Something terrible

has happened.

This whole thing started me thinking

I was wrong and Vicky was right.

After all, she had ended up

with a Hollywood contract...

and I was still pounding a typewriter

and breaking my fingernails.

But that's the trouble with giving advice nowadays.

So much of it turns out wrong.

When Vicky told me she had that Hollywood job

set up behind my back, I-

Well, you could've

knocked me down with a feather.

- So you knocked her down instead. Is that it?

- No, wise guy.

I did exactly what you would do.

I got cockeyed.

## [Popular]

- Do you mind turning that thing down a little?

- Not at all.

- Women are all alike.

- For Pete's sake, what difference does that make?

You've got to have them.

They're standard equipment.

Can you imagine her walking out on me

after all that I've done for her? Me!

You've done for her?

What have you done for her?

Well, I took her around to all the bright spots.

I let her be seen with me everywhere.

- It made her seem important.

- Why, you parboiled old ham.

You don't think anybody thought there was

anything between you two, do you?

If it hadn't been for my column, people

would've thought she was your trained nurse.

Why, you ink-stinking

word slinger.

I was famous when they were changing

your pants 20 times a day.

What's the use of bickering?

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