I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown Page #3

the money is for a worthy cause."

And "Merry Christmas."

And "Say hello to the stupid kid

with the blanket and his crabby sister."

Just forget it.

Mom will never let you have a dog, anyway.

Everybody in the world has a dog.

Why can't I have a dog?

You wouldn't know

how to take care of a dog.

You wouldn't even know how to feed it.

Dogs like cold cereal.

I don't know

if I can count on Santa for a dog.

If I eat all my dinner,

can I have a dog for Christmas?

[WOMAN MUMBLES]

Everybody in the world has a dog.

Why won't Mom let me have one?

A lot of people in the world

don't have dogs.

They can be a lot of trouble.

What I think I'll do today...

...is take some money out of my

college trust fund and go buy a dog.

You don't have a college trust fund.

I don't? Good grief.

- Please pass the grape jelly.

- We're all out of grape jelly.

How could anyone not have a dog

or a trust fund or grape jelly?

If you don't think dogs

are a lot of trouble...

...just ask Charlie Brown

about his stupid dog.

My mom and sister say

that dogs are a lot of trouble.

Owning a dog

is a big responsibility, ReRun.

They need lots of care.

And they need a lot of comforting.

Maybe if I watch you and Snoopy,

I'll know how to take care of a dog...

...if I get one from Santa.

How can you tell

which boot goes on which foot?

I hate zippers.

Oh, how I hate zippers and mittens.

How can you tell where the thumbs go?

I wasn't made for winter.

[ENGINE WHIRRING]

What's going on here?

I'm going Christmas shopping.

This was the cheapest ticket I could get.

- What's happening, Charlie Brown?

- I haven't the slightest idea.

What kind of an airplane is this?

Where's the complimentary orange juice?

And isn't anyone

going to welcome me aboard?

Blech!

I'd rather have the orange juice.

It's been a smooth flight so far, hasn't it?

Almost like we're not flying at all.

Stupid pilot.

What happens

if there's a loss of cabin pressure?

Where are the oxygen masks

in case there's an emergency?

Hey, I thought that passengers

were always served a nice lunch.

What happens

when we get to the ocean?

Do you have special equipment

for flying over water?

Hey, I'm getting cold and wet.

Take me back home.

[ENGINE SPUTTERS]

[THUD]

So much for Christmas shopping.

Charlie Brown,

you have the greatest dog in all the world.

Now I've just got to find a way

to get me a dog for Christmas.

This letter came for you today.

[LAUGHING]

It's a letter to Snoopy

from his brother, Spike...

...the one who lives in the desert.

[CHARLIE READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

CHARLIE:
For my Christmas tree,

I decorated a tumbleweed.

It looked really beautiful.

But then it left.

[CHARLIE READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

We had some cold mornings here

in the desert.

Today, I actually had a fire

in my fireplace.

[CHARLIE READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

CHARLIE:
I had fun stringing

the Christmas tree lights.

Up to a point.

[LAUGHS]

Does Spike live all alone in the desert?

Yes, he does.

It's probably a very lonely life.

Here's what I've been thinking.

He could use a better home, couldn't he?

Sure he could. So here's my idea...

Can you send a letter for me?

Please write to your brother

in the desert.

Tell him he can be my dog.

Tell him we'll be pals.

He can chase sticks

and pull me in my wagon and learn tricks.

And we'll celebrate Christmas together.

[BELL RINGS]

- Merry Christmas, Schroeder.

- Thank you.

- I just noticed something about this room.

- What's that?

There's an appalling lack of mistletoe.

[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]

Beethoven was a bad influence.

How can you say that?

Lots of musicians never get married

just because Beethoven never got married.

That's what I call a bad influence.

Where's ReRun?

He's outside building a snowman

to greet Spike.

[CHIRPING]

Please don't melt my snowman.

Don't. Please don't.

It's for my new dog, Spike.

Please. Please stop. Don't do it.

Rats.

You can talk to the moon,

but the sun won't listen.

Look, ReRun. It's a postcard for Snoopy

from his brother, Spike.

"Dear Snoopy.

My friend and I are making a painful journey

across the country to see you."

- Oh, ha, ha!

- Painful? Why would the trip be painful?

And who's the friend he's bringing?

I'm so excited

that your brother's coming.

This will be the best Christmas

I've ever had.

You're crazy, ReRun.

Mom will never let you have a dog.

Besides, how in the world

will he ever be able to find you?

Dogs are very smart.

They can find their way anyplace.

They always know where they are.

I don't believe it. He actually found us.

Look, there's Spike, ReRun.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Spike, good grief.

You're as thin as a promise.

This is the most miserable-looking dog

I've ever seen.

I'm gonna take him home and feed him.

Hey, that's my blanket he's wearing.

Hospital robe.

What's that?

This is a milk shake for Spike.

I'm fattening him up.

I'm your brother.

How come you never

make me a milk shake?

When he's through,

you can lick the straw.

- You thought I couldn't do it, didn't you?

- Do what?

Well, Spike isn't skinny anymore.

I got him back in shape.

Come on out, Spike.

Show everybody how great you look.

How's ReRun doing with the fat Spike?

He's trying to teach him some games.

That looks like a good game.

What do you call it?

Slobber ball.

Okay. You put down a nine,

so I'll put down a 10.

Okay. You put down a jack,

so I'll put down a queen.

What kind of game are you guys playing?

We don't have the slightest idea.

Now what are you doing?

It's a jigsaw puzzle.

If the pieces don't fit, we make them fit.

A tooth. I've lost another tooth.

I must be getting old.

Next, I'll start losing my hair.

But I don't wanna go on the bike.

Mom wants you to help

pick out a Christmas tree.

But I don't wanna leave Spike.

Here you are, ReRun.

Spike will keep you company.

Look out for the tree.

Look out for the truck.

[HORN HONKS]

Look out for the fence.

[SCREAMS]

I hate looking at the world

through my fingers.

Well, Spike has lost all that weight

I put on him.

It must have been the bike ride.

Anyway,

Mom say's we can't keep Spike anymore.

She just felt sorry for him because

he looked so bad when he got here.

So, what's going to happen to him?

Don't worry,

Charlie Brown will find a nice home for him.

You're asking our family

to adopt this dog?

Why not? He's Snoopy's big brother.

He's a good dog.

He's a full-blooded beagle.

That's what you say.

I say he's part beagle and part disaster.

He's been living just outside of Needles

with a bunch of coyotes.

I think I'd rather have one of the coyotes.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Wouldn't you like to own

a good watchdog?

Isn't this the sort of dog

you'd like to have with you...

...if you had some place to go at night?

I sure wouldn't want to be seen

in the daylight with him.

I'm sorry, Charlie Brown.

Beethoven never owned a dog.

If Beethoven never owned a dog,

I guess I shouldn't either.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes