Iceman

1

Route 3, Hong Kong

Boss. On my way back.

Work! Work, horsey!

Crap. Hold on there. Damn it!

Hold on there, Terminator! Go!

Come on!

Damn it!

Crap!

Help. Call... an ambulance.

Holy cow! Is this the freaking Terminator?

God damn!

There're persuers!

He Ying, accept the imperial decree.

I have been upright and honest all my life.

How would I do that?

India, 1621 A.D. (1st year of the Tianqi Reign)

Golden Wheel of Time

is a sacred object from Borneo.

A Sindhu epic Ramayana says...

5,000 years ago, Borneo Prince Raju

left his country to fight with devils.

Before leaving, he promised Princess Sama...

to come back safely when the five stars aligned.

But the war went on and on

and Raju missed the day,

Sama thought Raju was dead and killed herself.

Raju knew the god Shiva

loved rainbow Datura flowers,

he then took good care of

the plant and Shiva was touched.

Shiva gave him "Golden Wheel of Time",

a time travel tool,

so that he could go back in time

and stop Sama from killing herself.

Golden Wheel of Time has been

passed down among human ever since.

Golden Wheel takes person back to

the time when the five stars aligned.

The five stars aligning

connects the past with future.

Turn Golden Wheel thrice and

it will self-destruct.

The tool works for three times only,

rumor has it someone apart from

Raju has used it once.

Thus, please advise the Ming Emperor...

to use the last shot wisely.

What is it?

It's called Linga in Sanskrit...

believed to be Shiva's penis.

Enormous penis?

To activate Golden Wheel,

you need to insert Linga...

and recite the secret mantra.

Ian Kwai Fong, Hong Kong, midnight

Ox-head! Horse-face!

You bastards!

Tell Death God that it's not my time yet!

You want to lock me away?

Not that easy, Horse-face!

What's your problem? I'm just eating my noodles.

May, don't go over!

Don't bother him.

Yeah.

Royal bodyguard!

Wing Lee Street, Sheung Wan, midnight

(Indian) Come on man, hurry up!

(Indian) I'm on it right now,

why don't you do it yourself?

(Indian) I'm the boss,

just do what I said.

Yo, curry chicken! It's good.

Milk tea, drink up!

Stop running!

Drop those manhole covers!

Run!

Officers under attack!

Why are people nowadays so weak?

Have martial art skills failed to be handed down?

Give me back my curry chicken!

Freeze!

Freeze!

This gun is powerful!

I've been waiting for you, Niehu.

Where've you been all this time?

I'm starving.

These are some serious boobies.

Hey, I haven't read it yet!

Let me read first.

Your turn first again?

You should give precedence to the young.

How about He Ying?

Let's track him down tomorrow.

Wow! This one is even better! She's pantless!

Help!

Help!

Hey, this way. Take a seat over there.

Mr. Bodyguard!

I just bought you noodles. Now I buy you a drink.

All drinks on me tonight!

Awesome! Thanks!

Hey hero!

It's so cool you kicked that guy's ass. Isn't it?

That jerk never pays for his drinks. He deserves it.

Bro...

Later!

Hey...

People here are so licentious,

they ought to be drowned to death.

Excuse me, where are we now?

Ian Kwai Fong.

What year is it then?

Who's the Emperor?

Why must you ask? There's no emperor now.

It's 2013.

Let me tell you...

You said you're from Ming dynasty...

After Ming dynasty, there were...

Ming Dynasty has fallen?

And I've slept for 400 years?

Young emperor never worked hard

and corruption abounded.

Heavy taxes. Brutal oppression.

It's just a matter of time before

rebels subvert the government.

The late emperor had been kind to me

I failed to protect my country. I pledge guilty.

I failed to protect my country. Guilty as hell.

Shau Kei Wan, early morning

This well water tastes salty and stinky.

Wake up. A thief broke in!

Wake up!

He looks kind of familiar.

Breakfast delivery! What are you guys doing there?

Look up! Up there!

Ying? Why are you up there?

Ying, stop it!

I'm not the fat guy you talked about!

Damn you!

India-China Border, 1621 A.D., Winter

(1st year of Tianqi Reign)

He Ying, accept the imperial decree.

Hold it! Let's make this clear.

He Ying, you conspired with Japanese pirates.

How could you let us down?

When did I conspire with Japanese pirates?

You taught me sword fighting.

Now I return the favour.

What are you doing?

Ying, our brotherhood ends here and now!

Ying, you can't oppose to the Emperor's order.

I hate people colluding with Japanese pirates.

He Ying, accept the imperial decree.

By the mandate of heaven,

this Emperor decree hereby.

He Ying, fourth-rank General of Royal Bodyguards,

failed my expectations...

and conspired with Japanese pirates...

killing 76 lives in the minister of justice,

Master Du's family,

by extremely brutal means.

Now I strip him of power and office.

He will be handed for interrogation.

Anyone who resists this order will be killed.

Hitherto, by the Emperor himself.

I have been upright and honest all my life.

How would I do that?

You speak up!

It's you who forced me to

conspire with the Japanese pirates.

Damn you! You are clearly framing me for treason!

I have to meet his majesty and

clear myself of the accusations.

Treason gets all your close and

extended family members executed.

His majesty is sending a squad of

elite soldiers to Taoyuan Village for execution.

Hahaha....

Hahaha....

The late Emperor in heaven...

I, He Ying, can never let innocent people be killed.

Forgive me for my disrespect.

That's how the they got buried in snow.

Did I miss anything? Ying?

Like in "Back to the Future?"

Chubby!

Call me Slander.

Mr Slander, I was a bit confused just now...

and used more violence than needed...

You're forgiven.

Liu Bang!

I'll call Liu Bang for you. He sure can help.

I'll call his son Liu Bei.

Who should I call then?

Call Andy Lau.

Girls, are you leaving me?

Are you leaving just like that?

He's so pathetic...

and you can't use up all this space yourself,

why don't you let him stay?

What's wrong with you?

Did he crush your brain?

He's a guy. How can I let him stay?

Mr. Slander.

I sincerely thank you for your hospitality,

but it's getting late and

I don't want to take up your time.

Miss May, I'll forever remember

your kindness for the lovely meal.

Farewell.

Ying, you're leaving just like that?

How can you go out in that look?

What look?

Your appearance of course.

Causeway Bay, afternoon

Are you missing a mirror at home?

Stupid extras.

Go to the TV station and

ask for Oprah if you want a job.

Hmm.

Young man, give me a minute to discuss with you.

What do you want?

You bastards!

I must learn martial art!

Boss, you want to date a martial artist this time?

Damn!

North Point, afternoon

They bid up the price 50 times on

that stupid dog head.

I'm a rich man!

12 million Euros.

Transfer HK$48 million to

Mr Tang's account immediately.

Got it.

Having a good partner

is everything in running a business.

Ever since I worked with you,

I don't worry about a thing.

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