Idle Hands

Did you blow

the candles out downstairs?

Yeah.

Look at this.

A Thanksgiving cornucopia

made of pie plates and spackle.

What the heck is a cornucopia?

It's like a horn of plenty.

Oh, dear, can't it wait?

We just finished decorating

for Halloween.

- Well, good night.

- Night.

Go look!

Just a prank, that's all. Anton.

Our little Scooter would

never do something like that.

Quit calling him that baby name.

Anton would not scoot his behind

off the couch if the house was on fire.

God knows he didn't help me

with the Halloween decorations.

Did you hear that?

I heard something downstairs.

Well, the dog's out in the yard.

It's probably just the cat.

Well, go see!

Hey, Bones.

Gary?

Anton?

Gary, you said you...

The house could burn down!

Wake up!

Anton, is that you?

If you'd like to make a call,

hang up and try again.

If you need help, hang up

and then dial your operator.

Hey, Mom! We're out of milk!

Mom, we're out of dog food!

Murder in Bolan:
A Special Report.

Four bodies have been found.

The killer is still at large.

Bolan is gripped with fear.

The killings spread

from a postal route...

...to the bowling alley and

now to our own Burger Jungle.

With Halloween only one day away...

...Bolan officials have set

a 9 p.m. curfew for all teenagers.

Hey. What's up, man?

- What's up with you?

- I'm dry.

- So?

- So why don't you bring me a dimer?

This ain't Domino's, you lazy b*tch.

Come over and get it.

Come on, man. I'm comfortable.

Hello?

What's up, Anton?

Nice outfit!

Yeah? If your mom had teeth,

she wouldn't suck dick so well.

What's your point?

What's up, Anton?

How's it going, brother?

Nice boxers.

Pass the chronic.

I'm sorry, man.

This bong is cashed.

You said he was holding.

I didn't say what I was holding.

That's messed up.

I hear if you combine nutmeg and

oregano, you can get pretty wasted.

All you do is smoke pot...

...and watch TV all day.

Don't get me wrong.

That's what life is all about.

But don't you think you should

have some ambition, a goal?

Yeah. I mean,

my dream life would be...

...to lie around and watch TV

while some hot broad delivers me food.

Until your parents

kick your oily ass out.

I haven't seen my parents

in a few days.

Maybe they're dead.

Party at Anton's.

What are you doing?

With a killer loose,

you can't rule out murder.

What killer?

Don't you watch the news?

I hate that f***ing show.

Our little town is

in the national spotlight.

Local mailman, iced.

Barmaid at the bowling alley, iced.

You haven't heard about the twins?

They were jerking off

in the milkshake-maker again?

Iced times two. Last night, when

they were working at Burger Jungle.

Damn.

Anton, here comes your woman.

He's got serious problems.

Molly's lived across the street

for, like, what, ever?

Tell her about your

obsession with her.

- Start by telling her your name.

- Yeah, man. She's waiting for you.

She's not waiting for me.

Would you stop being such a puss

and go, like, ask her to the dance?

What dance?

If you'd been to school recently,

you'd know.

Halloween thing in the gym?

9:
00 curfew?

No trick-or-treating allowed?

Dumb-ass dance is the only option.

You guys going?

Hell, no. Can you see us

in stupid-ass costumes?

Grooving to Hanson and Jewel?

What do we look like,

total losers, man?

I see your point.

She dropped her lyrics book.

She'll catch you reading that

over her shoulder in biology.

Her songs are badass.

She's like a poet or something.

Go bring it back to her.

Be like a knight in shining armour.

She'd be all grateful, invite me in,

offer me a drink, I'd accept.

She'd rip your clothes off...

...and make sweet love to you,

Red Shoe Diary-style.

- Right.

- Could happen.

Just go talk to her, man!

Maybe she'll think you're funny

or something.

You know what?

I think I'm going to.

You want to borrow some pants, chief?

First impressions and all.

You're a bud.

Think he's gonna do it?

So you gotta reach.

You're getting Cheezy Poofs everywhere.

You gotta open your mouth, man.

Lookie what I found.

I thought you were dry.

I guess not.

Fire me up.

These are great.

My book!

Thank you so much...

...for returning it.

You're certain this is the right man?

Well, I'll tell you,

Sister Liquor...

That's LeCure.

- Debi's fine.

- All right, Sister Debi.

He's right here.

It's gone!

Sh*t!

Missed it again.

Where did it go?

Beaver.

Bolan.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Holy sh*t!

Don't move!

Roll over!

Roll over!

Anton Tobias.

You got a reason

for prowling around here?

I live here.

Since when is it illegal

to grocery shop?

Hey, I know you guys.

You guys were seniors

when I was a freshman.

Let's talk about high school.

You and your stoner friends

zipping around on skateboards.

Thought you were too cool for us.

Did you even once invite us

to get high behind the gym?

You were dorks.

Either of you holding?

What?

I'm desperate. I know you can

get in the evidence room...

You a**hole!

You're trying to score from a cop?

That's it.

Complete personal-effects search.

What's this?

Stupid, that's an asthma inhaler.

Empty your pockets, boy.

They're not my pants.

Let's go!

George found a new home.

What have we here?

Officer?

Smells like marijuana to me.

Write it up, Ruck.

What? It's empty.

You can't cite me

for possession of a baggie.

Littering.

Maximum fine.

Two hundred dollars.

Right.

Oh, sh*t! The killer's here!

The killer's in my house!

Okay, Dukey.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Come on, come on.

Everything's going to be fine.

Yes, it is.

All right, boy.

He's not dead!

Duke! Come on, lay down!

Get down, Duke!

All right.

Hold on, Duke. Hold on.

Where's the phone?

Run, Duke, run!

He's under the bed!

Mom?

Dad?

What's the matter?

Bad shrooms?

You got a fever? Here you go.

I'm going to show you.

Oh, man!

I love this video. I didn't think

they could show it anymore.

Guys!

Someone killed my parents!

This is the best part.

Shake them, baby.

Look! Look!

- Sh*t!

- Yeah, you see?

Mr. Tobias?

Miss T.?

Is this some kind of Halloween gag?

Your parents always go all out.

What the f*** are you doing?

That's my dad!

CPR, man. I saw it on Baywatch.

Check it out.

A clue.

"Ant"? They were killed by ants?

Please, don't be stupid.

Do you have an evil aunt?

Holy sh*t!

Are those ears?

Ear rings?

They're both lefts.

You know what that means.

Feldstein twins.

The killer was wearing your shirt.

The killer was wearing me.

I'm the killer.

I'm gonna call 911.

What's the number?

There's something wrong

with my friend.

I think he took

some nutmeg or something.

Mick, buddy.

- I would remember something like that.

- You would.

I'm not the killer. You know?

Yeah, I know. But if O.J.

could get off, then I'm sure...

Do you want a beer?

- No, thanks.

- You sure?

Talk to me!

What the hell is happening to me?

Pnub, man.

I didn't do it.

Okay, I did it.

But it was an accident.

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