Il Divo Page #3

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ma'am?

- What do you mean?

- It's a cocktail, ma'am.

No, thank you.

Premier, would you care for a Cuban?

Thank you, but I don't succumb

to lesser vices.

Have you ever danced, Premier?

My whole life, ma'am.

Here's the "fat girl"

I promised you.

You can't imagine

what this mozzarella's like.

- It reminds me of Sbardella.

- Reminds you? It is Sbardella.

That traitor! How far will he get

without Andreotti?

He won't get anywhere

without Andreotti.

We're not members of a faction,

we're in a theocratic empire

where one person rules: Andreotti.

Eat Sbardella, Franco.

It'll calm you down.

Listen Andreotti,

the aim of this dinner is obvious.

We think you should be elected

President of the Republic.

And we want to do everything possible

to make that happen.

What do you think?

I know I'm of average height, but...

I don't see any giants around.

I know my Giulio too well.

He just said yes.

Thank you.

This watch

isn't to commemorate the moment,

it's for the future.

Its hands always point to the future.

And you are the future.

I got it from Haussmann's.

It's the brand that counts,

not the store.

You make it tough to care about you.

I never asked you to care about me.

I know, but I care about you

all the same.

And in all these years, you've never

shown me any affection. Never.

I always defended you politically.

Even when you made

incongruous remarks.

Yes, but life isn't only politics.

I'm not intelligent like you...

I did some "incongruous" things,

but I always covered the body part

directly below the coccyx for you.

Always.

Always, don't forget that.

You just made

another incongruous remark.

There's nothing else but politics.

Talk to Fiorenzo.

I'll be unhappy if Tedax is taken off

the pharmaceutical codex.

What is it?

Why did you get up?

I wanted to wish you luck.

Yes.

If you get elected, will we live

in the Quirinal or here?

Here.

The Quirinal would drive you mad.

It's like being a prisoner

with all those cuirassiers,

speakers and pastry-bearers.

Yes Enea, five o'clock

will be fine. Thanks.

Bastard.

The order of business is:

Election of

the President of the Republic.

Thieves!

Honourable members!

Honourable Parisi!

You're an old parliamentarian,

show some respect.

- I'll press charges!

- Shame on you!

Show some decency!

Buffoons, buffoons!

We have to nominate

the President of the Republic,

we must remain united

so one of our men wins.

My dear chaps, come to an agreement.

Talk frankly.

If dear Arnaldo is a candidate,

I'm out of the race.

If dear Giulio is a candidate,

I'm out of the race.

I see.

- How did it go?

- They both want to run.

I'd like to finish speaking,

Mr President.

You've already had two applauses,

let someone else talk.

I just want to finish

a line of reasoning.

That's enough reasoning,

let's vote.

Honourable member,

reasoning is optional for you.

Four ballots and we still

don't have a real candidate.

Agnelli asked me

if this would go on all week.

Is he worried about the weekend?

Franco, I don't discuss

politics with you, just sports.

I discuss politics with Giulio.

The immobility of Andreotti's

government has multiplied its enemies

If we vote for him,

they'll assault us.

You haven't understood a thing.

You hammer us for a year

and then ask us to vote

the big boss into the Quirinal.

Andreotti in the Quirinal and

Forlani as head of the D.C. Party.

If you want Forlani in the Quirinal,

don't complain afterwards.

If Forlani gets the presidency,

De Mita becomes party leader.

And De Mita will hinder Craxi

from becoming premier.

That's why we have to get

Andreotti into the Quirinal,

and leave Forlani as party leader

and Martinazzoli as vice premier.

See how simple, clear

and scientific it is?

See all these people?

See the opposition?

Andreotti supporters are everywhere,

above suspicion.

Not only in the Christian Democrats:

I'm cross-party.

The killer was about to be revealed,

I never want to know.

The candidates will fall, one by one.

Then we'll move in,

rested and redemptive.

What do the illegal bookmakers say?

Spadolini is at one and a half,

Andreotti four, Craxi eight,

lotti ten, Forlani twelve,

De Mita fifteen

and Scalfaro twenty.

- Cossiga?

- Cossiga's not on the list.

Did they forget him?

Will you vote for him?

No, I can't stand him.

- What does that mean?

- I could never stand him.

Not voting for him is dangerous

for you and us too.

I'm asking you as a favour,

do it for me. Just this once.

- All right.

- Dry your hands, hurry.

Let us observe a one-minute silence

in memory of Giovanni Falcone,

magistrate.

Here are the ballot results:

Present voters 1002,

no abstentions.

Absolute majority

of the assembly:
508.

Voting went as follows...

- Watch Andreotti closely.

- Scalfaro 672 votes...

- He's waited for this all his life.

- Miglio 75, Cossiga 63...

Volponi 50, Valiani 36,

Forlani and Spadolini 7,

Andreotti and Vassalli 6,

Conso and lotti 4,

Bossi and Scalfari 3,

Guido Quaranta 2.

Invalid ballots:
15,

blank ballots:
38, void ballots: 11.

I declare the elected

President of the Republic to be

the Honourable Oscar Luigi Scalfaro.

Keep watching him.

Watch and learn how to behave.

I never kissed my mother.

Never!

Then again, Judas kissed a lot,

and he wasn't sentimental.

She wasn't at all impressed

that I was an MP or minister.

I cried when she died.

During my life,

I cried twice more:

When De Gasperi died and the first

time I was nominated vice-minister.

Once, I made a vow,

it was when the Red Brigades

kidnapped Aldo Moro.

I vowed to give up ice cream

if he was released.

I have a weakness for ice cream.

If there were direct elections in

Italy for President of the Republic

I would've won.

I forgive you, but you've got to

get down on your knees.

If you have the courage to

change... but they won't change.

To change, change...

They don't want to change,

they won't change...

Change and stop causing

death and destruction.

Go back to being Christians.

We pray for this in the name

of Jesus who said it on the cross:

Father, forgive them

for they know not what they do.

Politicians, businessmen: I'm worried

about this recent wave of suicides.

Some can't stand imprisonment,

others the accusations

of corruption or bribery...

and they kill themselves...

but are they suicides, Premier?

By the way,

Craxi says you're the puppeteer

behind Bribesville.

What nonsense!

Your colleagues are falling prey

to corruption and extortion.

Craxi, Forlani, De Mita,

Martelli, La Malfa.

But not you.

This appallingly big scandal

hasn't touched you.

I feel compassion

and a sense of sadness for them.

But, I don't think they're finished.

I don't believe

they're personally responsible

or that they should disappear

from the political scene.

I don't want to talk

about Bribesville

but about a piece I'd like to write

on an almost philosophical theme.

This theme is chance.

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