Imaginary Crimes Page #2

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...E-C-T...

...R-I-C-I-T-Y.

Very good.

That's very good.

You picked Benjamin Franklin?

What are you working on?

American heroes. My report for school.

I got one for you.

Charles A. Steen.

She already picked.

The Uranium King.

He's the kind of man

that makes this country great.

He strikes out on his own...

...stakes everything he's got on a piece

of land in the middle of nowhere.

He works that mine with his bare hands...

...and comes out with $50,000,000.

Dad, she already picked Benjamin Franklin.

A few years ago, he didn't know

where he'd get his next Geiger counter.

That is what is beautiful about America.

That sort of opportunity...

I'm not home.

That kind of spirit,

that's what makes this country great.

To have a dream.

No matter what the odds are

or who's against you.

Oh, Mr. Garrity.

He's not home now.

Can I have him call you back?

The rent is in the mail.

It's on the way.

That guy has nerve,

disturbing a family at dinner.

Where was I?

He didn't know where he'd get

his next Geiger counter.

Right.

Everybody on the Colorado Plateau

called him crazy.

Now his dog is eating T-bone steaks...

...and he's flying his own plane

to Utah to take rhumba lessons.

Where is he now?

He's probably in Hollywood,

doing the rhumba with Sandra Dee.

How do you spell "rhumba"?

R - H - U - M - B - A.

"Has anyone supposed it lucky to be born?

"I hasten to inform him or her,

it is just as lucky to die, and I know it.

"I pass death with the dying,

and birth with the new-washed babe...

"... and I am not contained

between my hat and my boots

"And peruse manifold objects,

no two alike... "

How did you get just a one-year sentence

at Wretchmont?

"I am not on earth

nor adjunct of an earth... "

Just lucky.

"I am the mate and companion of people...

"... all just as immortal

and fathomless as myself.

"And they do not know how immortal...

"... but I know.

"Every kind for itself and its own,

For me mine male and female

"For me all that have been boys... "

Sometimes he gets so involved in reading,

he forgets we're here.

A lot of girls ditched while

he was reading Julius Caesar.

"For me the mothers

and mothers of mothers

"For me lips that have smiled,

eyes that have shed tears

"For me children

and the begetters of children. "

And he never, ever sits down.

- Not even to grade papers.

- Miss Jenkins.

I know your mouth is as big

as that bag you carry...

...but I would appreciate it

if you kept them both closed in my class.

I was just telling Sonya

about reading Julius Caesar.

Miss Weiler.

If you have something more important

to say than Walt Whitman...

...why don't you share it

with the rest of the class?

No?

Good. Okay.

"I see through the broadcloth

and gingham whether or no

"And am around, tenacious, acquisitive...

- "... tireless, and can...

- Gum?

"... never be shaken away. "

Bobby Darren.

Yeah, I'll take Bobby Darren.

It's not the way he looks.

You have to listen to his lyrics.

Who cares about lyrics?

Look at Frankie Avalon.

What is it with you two?

He's sexy.

Margaret thinks Frankie Avalon is sexy.

- Doesn't mean he was sexy.

- They're both a couple of greaseballs.

Think of all the money they're making.

I'd like some.

Besides, what kind of talk is that anyway

from two Edgemont girls?

Sexy?

What the hell are they teaching you?

Not to swear.

Your dad just told me

he's buying land in the Rockies.

He says we can go skiing.

Sounds really great.

Come on.

A big one.

Sonya, come on.

See these flecks of metal, girls?

These little flecks...

...are going to make us all rich someday.

Eddie and I are staking four claims here.

We named them after you girls.

Sonya 1, Sonya 2, and Greta 1...

...and Greta 2.

How original.

Did you say something?

Before we go any further...

...let's go over the three rules

by which we live in the mountains.

No. 1...

Dad, we've gone over this 100 times.

We know them by heart.

And I already filled Margaret in.

Three rules by which we live

in the mountains...

You can't be too careful.

Someday these claims

will belong to you and Greta.

You will need to come up

and check on the operation.

That's right. I forgot.

No. 1?

Always carry matches.

No. 2?

Speak up. I can't hear you.

Look for Forest Service markers.

I wasn't talking to you.

I was helping Sonya.

I don't need your help.

Don't snap at your sister like that.

Come back!

There's one more rule to go.

Don't walk away from me.

- What is the third rule?

- Let go of me!

- What is the third rule?

- Let go of me!

Always follow rivers downstream!

God!

Just...!

Anybody down there?

Jarvis, over here!

You okay?

Stay there while Daddy and Uncle Eddie

speak with Mr. Jarvis.

Hello, Ray.

How are you?

Follow me.

It's okay, Sonya.

Okay?

You know that was not too cool.

Making a move like that on Jarvis.

Don't worry.

I've got it covered.

"In my hungry fatigue...

"... and shopping for images...

"... I went into the neon fruit supermarket

dreaming of your enumerations.

"What peaches and penumbras.

"Whole families shopping at night.

"Aisles full of husbands.

Wives in the avocados.

"Babes in the tomatoes.

"And you, Garcia Lorca...

"... what were you doing

down by your watermelons?"

Get this back at the end of the day,

Miss Weiler.

"I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless...

"... lonely old grubber, poking

among the meats in the refrigerator...

"... and eyeing the grocery boys. "

Valery Weiler was addicted to the movies.

She named me after Sonya Henie

and Greta for Garbo in Camille.

No matter what the movie was,

my mother always cried.

The best part is when Bette Davis

is on the stairs...

...and says to the people at the party:

"Fasten your seatbelts... "

"... you're in for a bumpy night. "

Movies were her only social life

outside our small apartment.

Every Wednesday night, we took the bus

to the magnificent Fox Theater...

...with its gilded, golden globes.

Wednesday's were raffle night

and she always wore her lucky scarf.

Oh, Matt, you were right.

We have missed six wonderful,

exciting years.

I've been so blind.

Why didn't you make me see?

Why didn't I make you see?

Put your hankies away, ladies.

Tonight is the night

of the Wednesday-night raffle.

The winning number is:

...nine...

...two...

...five.

Miss Valery Weiler!

My mother's face was flushed.

She always dreamed about winning,

but never expected it to happen.

Now that all eyes were on her,

she didn't know what to do.

As we made our way to the stage together

to claim her prize...

...I wondered if this would be her thrill

of a lifetime.

And a lovely mother-to-be, too.

Congratulations, Mrs. Weiler.

Thank you.

My mother smiled for a week.

I'd never seen her so happy.

Even if the dishes were cheap

and an ugly shade of pink...

...at least they were hers.

What color is that, anyway?

You can't call it pink.

It looks more like flesh.

Who would want to eat off flesh?

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